myheartisastone
Well-known member
I don't see why I have to remain alive. I keep hearing these messages that "you're not weak", "that's the easy way out" "you'd hurt your family .."
But I honestly don't think I would. My family doesn't even care about me ... they don't notice me. No one does.
Everyone ignores me. I am pretty much convinced I am unimportant. People only want to pretend i'm relevant when they want to insult me, or use me, or anything else.
I feel empty and worthless. I don't enjoy anything I used to. Everything is automation. I feel no more will to do anything, I do things out of necessity ... I don't enjoy anything anymore. I am tired of pretending that I am okay.
I don't feel like I have a purpose. People try to tell me I do, but I know I don't.
Worst of all, I can't see myself having a future. I sadly look at my friend/other family members who appear to be happily married and have kids, and I know i'd never have that. (Not that realistically I want that, or that i'd be able to deal with it right now), just that I know i'll never have it.
All of my relationships and friendships have ended badly, both because of my communication issues and because i've had a few abusive relationships.
And I fear that I won't find anyone who actually wants to be with me.
So, why can't I?
But I honestly don't think I would. My family doesn't even care about me ... they don't notice me. No one does.
Everyone ignores me. I am pretty much convinced I am unimportant. People only want to pretend i'm relevant when they want to insult me, or use me, or anything else.
I feel empty and worthless. I don't enjoy anything I used to. Everything is automation. I feel no more will to do anything, I do things out of necessity ... I don't enjoy anything anymore. I am tired of pretending that I am okay.
I don't feel like I have a purpose. People try to tell me I do, but I know I don't.
Worst of all, I can't see myself having a future. I sadly look at my friend/other family members who appear to be happily married and have kids, and I know i'd never have that. (Not that realistically I want that, or that i'd be able to deal with it right now), just that I know i'll never have it.
All of my relationships and friendships have ended badly, both because of my communication issues and because i've had a few abusive relationships.
And I fear that I won't find anyone who actually wants to be with me.
So, why can't I?