Why can't I keep friends?

[MNM322]

I have noticed this for along time but people just said I was "Weird" or that person was a jerk.... but I am the common factor, so it has to be me.

Anyway...I seem to meet great people, get on well, and then, its over. It always crushes me deeply and I go into depression because I feel I've failed etc.

I've never had a boyfriend or a date either and I don't see me ever having one. I have "friends" but they are not people I can count on or turn to. The only real friends I have are my dogs.

Recently (April) I met a seemingly fantastic guy... he was so respectful and understanding to me, we had tons in common and I trusted him more than I have anyone in recent memory (I let my dogs off lead around him, I NEVER let them off lead) and we got along well... then a stupid misunderstanding last week, lead to a current non talking situation and me feeling lousy again and never being able to trust people.

Why can't I keep friends? People always say I am such a good person but yet.. my only real friends are my dogs... thats a bit weird, isn't it?

 

[Helmaninquiel]

Welcome to my world. In my opinion people are just to busy now a days for actual deep meaningful friendships, it's just sad cause having that one person to count on and do things with makes life that much more.

 

[OceanMist]

Everyone loses friends. It's just the problem with many of us on here is that when we lose friends, we have SA standing in our way making it harder to make new friends.

I feel your pain. If you ever want to talk about not having friends, I'm here for you. I am dating a girl now, but I don't have a friend. It's quite sad but my motivation to find friends is extremely low.

I'm not sure if I even want friends?

My self esteem is much better than it was in the past at least because I've been dating women.

 

[xDreamseller]

I used to hang out with tons of people at school, but I wouldn't really have considered any of them friends. Went to the odd movie here and there and to the beach a few times, but that's about it as far as outside of school activities went.

I would much rather have a small tight nit group of friends than a large group of friends...finding one of those is proving to be a problem though. ::

 

[MNM322]

It is, I've lost so many this year and its sad when you realize those you thought were your friends, really could care less about you. I have been having the WORST time in my life lately... more depressed and sad then I've been in a while and haven't posted on FB or anything and not a single person has texted or called etc to ask about me.

I am horrible at keeping friends, I scare people away

 

[ForeverTheWeirdKid]

Maybey you expect too much.

 

[laure15]

I would much rather have a small tight nit group of friends than a large group of friends...finding one of those is proving to be a problem though. ::

That's my dream, but that hasn't happened yet. It's so hard to make friends especially as you grow older. When I was little, I had no trouble chatting up people and making friends; somehow, it's just easier. But now in my 20s, I find it more difficult to go up to a total stranger and begin a conversation.

I read from a psychology textbook that as people grow older, they focus more on family relationships than on friendships. In my experience, I notice that many elderly people (my grandma, my parents) don't have many friends; in fact they interact more with family members than with outsiders. You mentioned that you are 30 years old. Many people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, are busy raising kids and having midlife crisis, so it's probably harder to find friends in that age range.

 

[1BlackSheep]

I read from a psychology textbook that as people grow older, they focus more on family relationships than on friendships. In my experience, I notice that many elderly people (my grandma, my parents) don't have many friends; in fact they interact more with family members than with outsiders. You mentioned that you are 30 years old. Many people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, are busy raising kids and having midlife crisis, so it's probably harder to find friends in that age range.

Yes, this is why I think it's tough for me, being older, single, and not having a close family relationship. I had many more friends when I was younger.