Why are SP people so oversensitive?

[ChAiNz]

As u all kno i suffer from SP, and have struggled all my life with being overly sensitive. I remember being shy as a little kid but i never realized that i was also sensitive, as i got older i became aware that other peoples' comments and criticism about me made me feel extremely bad to the point of feeling very awkward and embarrased. Today was no different, i i approached one of my coworkers and he made a comment to another coworker about my clothes and later made a comment about my slang, he was prolly just joking around but i took it seriously and made me feel really bad. Another experience that i remember was when my girlfriend made a comment abut me being a momma's boy, it made me feel so embarrased and angry that I stopped talking to her for a day. I kno this is overexagerating but the fear of being embarrased and critised has held me back from trying new things such as dating, friendships, work, etc.. I hope u guys have any input on this topic.

 

[richkid]

The fear off critism or embrassement goes straight to the heart. My house mates gave me a nickname which probably was just for a laugh, but knowing how they act around others i took it personally and did understand why they where doing it. I still don't know, it fucks your head up because you think the worst. I think its taken things to heart that make you sensitive not a bad thing but you have to "learn" key word learn when to take it when to give and when to say you've had enough and stick up for yourself. Take as good as you give, you don't have to lay down dead. People respect you more if you speak you mind. Why should you feel bad about what someone else has say? If you don't like it do something about it. The ability to know your emotions and stay in control of your emotions is bloody diffcult, everyone takes whats thrown at them in different ways, just don't internalise it. I wouldn't take it out on your girlfriend if she said something that you feel unhappy with tell her don't push your angry on her.

Take life with a pinch of salt but if someone puts too much salt on your plate take it back!

 

[Anonymous]

Heya Richkid

I certainly DON'T have all the answers, (I wish I did, at least, I think?) but granted, we SP's do seem to be over sensitive, ALL of our feelings, emotions, seem so much more intense than 'normal' people's are. It makes me also wonder if we don't love/hate even more intensely? hmmmm. Although it really sux becasue I don't think our feelings are returned (unless it's by another SP?) I don't really consider the over sensitivy such a bad thing anymore. OUR feelings are GENUINE Richkid.... they come from our hearts, souls. I think WE ARE REAL, and the so-considered normal people are put-ons much of the time---PHONY. If being considered 'normal' also means being a fake, I would rather be SP. I'm serious about that too, as much as the disorder SUX.

I have a few close SP friends.... when they telephone me/write to me, I don't ever second guess them, I KNOW perfectly well that they mean every thought/word, it comes from their hearts, just like mine. If I ever receive gifts, or cards from them-- same deal-- genuine, not just something to appease me or make themselves 'look good', and I also know for certain they never once thought about the money they may have spent on the gift or the time it took them to send the card, because like me, the gifts, cards. and thoughts were GENUINE, they came from my heart.

It sux---- because no one 'normal' realizes just how GENUINE and REAL we are, but we are, Richkid. Be proud of being real, and be thankful to have the ability to be 'connected' with the "unphony' here at this forum. I'm convinced that there IS A REASON for our sensitivty, maybe I won't know it in this lifetime and maybe it's for a reason for upcoming, future generations and I'll never know it... but that's my thoughts and dream and I'm holding onto it because it makes me feel damn good about myself instead of feeling like a freak and loathing everything about me.

I would much rather be writing to YOU Richkid, or any other SP and telling THEM my inner most thoughts rather than some phony, put on, social addict that could possibly even hurt me for revealing those feelings openly to them.

 

[Anonymous]

My post was meant for Chainz & Richkid... sorry.

 

[richkid]

Being genuine is defintely a key charteristic of being a decent person. A what point do you put up or shut up? I would be rather tell someone to there face how i feel about them or myself for that matter rather than just holding it in. I think i would respect someone more if they said to me how they felt regardless if i don't like it. I would like to think that it would mean something could be sorted out. At the same time people don't because you want to be liked which ideally would mean be submissive. Every situation has to be looked at seperatley. I personally would have enough confidence to just go NO, fuck off! I haven't learnt when to choose my battles which i feel is a shame.

 

[redski]

This is the nicest thing I have ever heard regarding SA/SP.
Thank you so much.

Heya Richkid

I certainly DON'T have all the answers, (I wish I did, at least, I think?) but granted, we SP's do seem to be over sensitive, ALL of our feelings, emotions, seem so much more intense than 'normal' people's are. It makes me also wonder if we don't love/hate even more intensely? hmmmm. Although it really sux becasue I don't think our feelings are returned (unless it's by another SP?) I don't really consider the over sensitivy such a bad thing anymore. OUR feelings are GENUINE Richkid.... they come from our hearts, souls. I think WE ARE REAL, and the so-considered normal people are put-ons much of the time---PHONY. If being considered 'normal' also means being a fake, I would rather be SP. I'm serious about that too, as much as the disorder SUX.

I have a few close SP friends.... when they telephone me/write to me, I don't ever second guess them, I KNOW perfectly well that they mean every thought/word, it comes from their hearts, just like mine. If I ever receive gifts, or cards from them-- same deal-- genuine, not just something to appease me or make themselves 'look good', and I also know for certain they never once thought about the money they may have spent on the gift or the time it took them to send the card, because like me, the gifts, cards. and thoughts were GENUINE, they came from my heart.

It sux---- because no one 'normal' realizes just how GENUINE and REAL we are, but we are, Richkid. Be proud of being real, and be thankful to have the ability to be 'connected' with the "unphony' here at this forum. I'm convinced that there IS A REASON for our sensitivty, maybe I won't know it in this lifetime and maybe it's for a reason for upcoming, future generations and I'll never know it... but that's my thoughts and dream and I'm holding onto it because it makes me feel damn good about myself instead of feeling like a freak and loathing everything about me.

I would much rather be writing to YOU Richkid, or any other SP and telling THEM my inner most thoughts rather than some phony, put on, social addict that could possibly even hurt me for revealing those feelings openly to them.

 

[guessed]

I've spent a lot of time thinking about these things. I always wondered why I got picked on when others were left alone. I wondered why I felt such deep connections with people, only to be hurt when I realized they never felt the same way. I wondered why people could just lie and give false compliments without batting an eye and the reciever was happy to pretend they didn't know they were being lied to. All of the social politics and manouvering that everyone seemed to know how to do and I was always clueless.
But lately, I've begun to realize that being sensitive doesn't have to be a curse, it can be a gift. The trick is knowing how to handle insensitive people so they don't devastate and manipulate you.

I'm still learning how to do this, but sometimes it's necessary to play their game a bit. I don't mean becoming fake and manipulative, just learning how to have more of a poker face and not wear your heart on your sleeve. That's why we can be such easy targets to be made the butt of the joke. I've also found that being honest and telling them how their comments have upset you doesn't work. They just tend to do it more and get their friends involved until it feels like everyone is pushing your buttons.

I found something I'd like to share with you:

I used to wish I wasn't so sensitive. But now I see how my sensitivity propels me spiritually.
I used to wish I was more realistic. But now I know that my fantasies were all divine guidance.
I used to wish I didn't have this sparkling personality. But now I see that I don't have to use it all the time and I enjoy being the quiet one.
I used to wish I could join the crowd and be gossipy and vicious, but now I'm glad I didnt. It never felt right to me anyway.
I used to wish I could follow a prescribed belief system. But I now enjoy the freedom of developing my own path to God.
I used to wish I could be the type to hold down an office job. But now I know that wouldn't make me happy.

I'm so glad I found out that who I am is who I was meant to be and...there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I don't have SA but I do have anxiety and I've been very sensitive since childhood. The feelings I've felt have been so overwhelming that I sometimes wish that I could not feel at all. Having Social Anxiety or Anxiety does not make a person real or genuine. I've known tough and fearless people who were as genuine as they come. There are people out there who are not sensitive but they care about others and treat others well. Certainly, there are blessings that come with being so sensitive but let's not get carried away and fool ourselves into believing that WE are so much superior than THEM.
We do need our positive affirmations but they have to be realistic.

Everyone here has their own character as well as flaws not associated with their anxiety disorders. I seriously doubt that everyone person on this forum is "genuine", "real" and good at heart. I could be the most cold and calculating person and no one would be any wiser because of how nice and caring I am towards people here. I can say for sure that I am genuine and that I feel too much. I will also tell you that sometimes I just don't give a shit about anyone. That's as real and unphony as it gets.

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I've spent a lot of time thinking about these things. I always wondered why I got picked on when others were left alone. I wondered why I felt such deep connections with people, only to be hurt when I realized they never felt the same way. I wondered why people could just lie and give false compliments without batting an eye and the reciever was happy to pretend they didn't know they were being lied to. All of the social politics and manouvering that everyone seemed to know how to do and I was always clueless.
But lately, I've begun to realize that being sensitive doesn't have to be a curse, it can be a gift. The trick is knowing how to handle insensitive people so they don't devastate and manipulate you.

I'm still learning how to do this, but sometimes it's necessary to play their game a bit. I don't mean becoming fake and manipulative, just learning how to have more of a poker face and not wear your heart on your sleeve. That's why we can be such easy targets to be made the butt of the joke. I've also found that being honest and telling them how their comments have upset you doesn't work. They just tend to do it more and get their friends involved until it feels like everyone is pushing your buttons.

That is a clever approach! I have found this to be true myself. Some people just enjoy making things difficult for others. They enjoy having that power over someone. I personally think it's sick but the only thing we can do is exactly as you have suggested. I try not to show my feelings with some people. Showing your true emotions is simply wasted on some people.

I found something I'd like to share with you:

I used to wish I wasn't so sensitive. But now I see how my sensitivity propels me spiritually.
I used to wish I was more realistic. But now I know that my fantasies were all divine guidance.
I used to wish I didn't have this sparkling personality. But now I see that I don't have to use it all the time and I enjoy being the quiet one.
I used to wish I could join the crowd and be gossipy and vicious, but now I'm glad I didnt. It never felt right to me anyway.
I used to wish I could follow a prescribed belief system. But I now enjoy the freedom of developing my own path to God.
I used to wish I could be the type to hold down an office job. But now I know that wouldn't make me happy.

I'm so glad I found out that who I am is who I was meant to be and...there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Thank you for this. It was very beautiful.

 

[redski]

I don't have SA but I do have anxiety...

Of course we are only human and not perfect. I now regret that I re-bumped
this old thread. It was just nice to hear somewhat of a positive thing
about SA/SP when I cannot at all see any positivity in it.

The poster to what i quoted was probably just trying to encourage.

Serefina: It's all a matter of interpretation. I never was under
the impression that it was stated that (SA/SP)'s are superior.
On the contrary, I think (persoanl experience) that over sensitive
people will have it much harder in life.

 

[PennyLane]

Of course we are only human and not perfect. I now regret that I re-bumped
this old thread. It was just nice to hear somewhat of a positive thing
about SA/SP when I cannot at all see any positivity in it.

I think your being overly sensitive about what Serafina wrote hahahaha...im sorry I couldn't resist!

 

[Remus]

*edit removed caps title*

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

Re: WHY ARE SP PEOPLE OVERLY SENSITIVE???????

Of course we are only human and not perfect. I now regret that I re-bumped
this old thread. It was just nice to hear somewhat of a positive thing
about SA/SP when I cannot at all see any positivity in it.

The poster to what i quoted was probably just trying to encourage.

Serefina: It's all a matter of interpretation. I never was under
the impression that it was stated that (SA/SP)'s are superior.
On the contrary, I think (persoanl experience) that over sensitive
people will have it much harder in life.

Well, saying that we are real and genuine as opposed to the normal people who can be phony is basically saying that we are better or superior. (I'm not saying that you said this) At least, I think that being genuine is better than being phony. I suppose it depends on the person. Some may actually feel that being phony is the right way to be. I bet we have some phony people on this forum.
I don't think that we have it so much harder than other people. I think we're just too used to feeling like victims. I think that normal people face many tough challenges through their lives. Some of them just don't let those challenges keep them down. They embrace the challenges and move on.


I understand that this thread was not meant to harm but what is it supposed to encourage exactly? Is pointing out the positive aspects (SA, SP, GAD) supposed to encourage an idea that it's okay to have these disorders when there are normal people out there who are just as thoughtful, sensitive, or curteous to other people's feelings? The only difference between them and us is they know how to handle their empathy without letting it hurt them like we let it hurt us.

Perhaps we feel guilty for being the way we are and we need to accept it before we want to get better but let us not fool ourselves into thinking that it's okay to be the way we are just because there are positive aspects to this. Let's not forget that having a mental illness is not a positive thing in itself.

I think that some of us should ask ourselves (yes, I have questioned my own motives) whether we care so much about not hurting others because we truly care or because we're afraid to be seen/judged as mean and cruel? I know people who do good things just to be seen as good, but they themselves are not good. They just like the recogniton.lol


I really want to not give a shit but I do. I want to not feel such deep empathy but I do. It hurts me to see other people hurting. I've had crazy moments when it hurt so much I thought that I could literally feel another person's pain. I don't want to be this way! What good can I be to those people if I'm too scared to help myself? What good is empathy when you can't do anything to help others?

There is a lot of negativity on this forum. It can be really depressing so it's good to hear something positive. We need positivity and encouragement (to get better) but we also need to be realistic. If we are truly caring and empathetic becoming healthy or "normal" will not change this in the least.

 

[redski]

I think your being overly sensitive about what Serafina wrote hahahaha...im sorry I couldn't resist!

I was almost going to rebuttal Serifina's last post but I won't.
So I am in fact a softy, guilty as charged