Why am I so nervous about eye-contact?

[Ryguy2598]

No matter where I am......school, mall, church. etc. I get really anxious and nervous about making eye contact with people.....then when eye-contact is made I usually just immediately look away because I'm so anxious.....even if that person smiles at me, most of the time I look away. I feel mean and rude about this, but it's like the feeling of anxiety hits me instantly as soon as that eye contact is made then my reaction is to just look away.......Am I making too big of a deal about this? Is it normal to look away or is it rude and mean? I mean, I'm pretty sure it's mean if they smile at me.......and I don't want people to think that or that I'm in a bad mood or something. But maybe people can just tell your nervous and anxious if you do this. ::

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

When you look into someones eye it's like your staring into their soul so yeah it can make you anxious. You can just glance at another part of the persons face like their forehead, which may be difficult. When you look away just try to remain pleasant looking or something.

 

[darkrider]

Cause you have SA!

I just which some people could understand that it's not being rude. It's just hard to.

It's really hard to explain SA to those without it. They'll never understand it and just think it as stupidity and think of those who suffer with SA and stupid, nerd, queer, socially awkward or whatever other mean derogatory terms people have for us.

 

[jenkavy]

One part of my exposure therapy involved eye-contact. I repeatedly had to make continuous eye contact with my therapist for a whole minute. Those minutes were the longest and most awkward I've ever experienced. But now normal eye contact is a lot easier.

 

[Metal_isthe_Answer]

I always try to look at something behind someone I may be talking to.

 

[caringdave]

It's strange that every time I succeeded maintaining eye contact with others it is them first steer away from my sight, and it make me nervous and thinking is it my eye contact that make them uncomfortable. I usually end up looking elsewhere for the rest of the conversation.

 

[Falkor]

i find it really hard to make eye contact also.. It's one of my main symptoms.
i feel terrified of making eye contact in crowdy places ::

 

[NathanielWingateSpaghetti]

typical SA symptom.

 

[Falkor]

YouTube - Eye Contact! very interesting video

 

[superfluouslyme]

When you look into someones eye it's like your staring into their soul so yeah it can make you anxious. You can just glance at another part of the persons face like their forehead, which may be difficult. When you look away just try to remain pleasant looking or something.

I was going to say the exact same thing.

I used to have this problem. I just became more confident looking at people. I used to think they they would look straight into my eyes and see all of my insecurities and I was busted. But I realized that when I looked at people, I couldn't see right through them, so the same could be said for me. It still makes me a little uncomfortable, but it's doable.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

I've just learned to make bigger eyes. Like this:

 

[superfluouslyme]

I've just learned to make bigger eyes. Like this:

I love that video! This one still scares the hell out of me:
YouTube - Cute Tarsier with Huge Eyes

 

[Mickery]

If it's the opposite sex, looking away as soon as they make eye contact can be taken as interest... in that you were trying to look at them without their noticing, as people do.

But it's more likely nobody will give it a second thought even if they do notice. Lots of people with no other issues at all can be a little edgy about eye-contact, I don't make assumptions even knowing about it myself.

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

If it's the opposite sex, looking away as soon as they make eye contact can be taken as interest... in that you were trying to look at them without their noticing, as people do.

But it's more likely nobody will give it a second thought even if they do notice. Lots of people with no other issues at all can be a little edgy about eye-contact, I don't make assumptions even knowing about it myself.

But see, I think this but then realize maybe they're just staring at something because it's just interesting. Like my ears, they stick out, always back of mind I think "oh no, they're just looking at those..." sometimes hard not to make those assumptions, all matter of perception. But yeah, def. can be sign of interest.

And yeah Super, that's a scary cute tarsier.

 

[theslowesthand]

Don't want to let any "intruder" into my private space/world

Since they are out amongst society, they are a "window to the world", which i want nothing to do with

Too full-on/energetic/violent for my slow/languid pace

Fear that they might judge or reject me

Fear that they might manipulate my feelings "with the blink of an eye" (ie is easy for them to do, as are experts at social/feelings)

 

[shana2712]

I'm also bad with eye contact with strangers, like with cashiers and clerks. One reason is if I look at their face I fear they might show disapproval or rejection to me (like if they have a disgusted or negative look on their face). Fear of possible rejection or disapproval.

 

[popolala]

i never like eye contact, because i can see what they thinking from their eyes, even if they smile, it tells me something different, and sometime i dont like what im seeing, so i avoid eye contact. I know its polite to look into someone eye while talking, but i just get nervous and i cant stare for too long, when i swift my eyes, the thing is, they look behind them.. thinking somehtings up... but im just swifting my eyes because i didnt like long eye contact..

 

[theslowesthand]

Also i fear my own thought/feelings violence towards them. Fearing the nasty truth about how i truly feel about people (that i have deep-down, supressed & probably repressed also) coming out. And fearing finding out the truth of who they really are (eg eternal soul) or how they really view me, good or bad.
Essentially, just fearing truth about things.