Marie1988
Well-known member
when I'm forced into a public social situation I discover something different about me. Humans are social creatures, our sense of self depends on our relationships with society and society is more than capable of changing us (which is one of the scariest things about socializing, for me -- the fear that if I'm assimilated into society I'll lose myself).
From reading this, i believe this is more the SA than the debate of social self and true self. because true self cannot be lost. whether we are going through a patch of confusion and turmoil, somewhere the true self still remains, but perceptions on what that is may change, rather than the actual self. Also you could say that the relationships we have with society reflects whats going on within us, rather than shaping us, i think a better word for that would be that society reinforces us, rather than shapes us. for example if we are angery people, the world becomes an angery place, you are more likely to have angery incounters in society and therefore this reinforces us that society is an angery place making us more angery.
I think that in order for us to know ourselfs truly, we need to expereince pretty much everything life has to chuck at us, and the only way to gain those expereinces is to leap into society. eg being a parent, a partner, a worker, a student etc where we fit into these roles, and how we deal with them. we can be chucked into society and have our worlds completely turned up side down, the confusion...the turmoil but as we ride this out, it settles, and we grow and thus so does the self. otherwise how do we mature?
a good example of this is ferral children. who have been locked up since birth and then found. say when they were 12. no speach, no toilet control etc they have never set foot into society nor know any social skill at all. so would this be the true the self of that child? without any outside influences.
i dont think you can have a public self without a true self, or visa verca, because the two develop together.
i think the reason why u find the idea of society will make you loose yourself is because you have come to accept yourself when u are in total control of your enviournment and how you act to it, because ur in control you can predict your behaviour, but when u have no control over your enviournment, and cant predict your behaviour, this lack of control makes you question who you are when u r in control, because there different, and its hard to know why this is? well its all you.
you need to expose yourself to the different sides of you by going into society and discovering that, you cant do that from four walls. the more you expereince, the more u know about urself, the further your comfort zone stretches, the more control you have in more situations and then thus...your behaviour will stay more consistant over a more broad spectrum of situations.
sorry if that is long winded. im a psychology student so this is my department lol.
From reading this, i believe this is more the SA than the debate of social self and true self. because true self cannot be lost. whether we are going through a patch of confusion and turmoil, somewhere the true self still remains, but perceptions on what that is may change, rather than the actual self. Also you could say that the relationships we have with society reflects whats going on within us, rather than shaping us, i think a better word for that would be that society reinforces us, rather than shapes us. for example if we are angery people, the world becomes an angery place, you are more likely to have angery incounters in society and therefore this reinforces us that society is an angery place making us more angery.
I think that in order for us to know ourselfs truly, we need to expereince pretty much everything life has to chuck at us, and the only way to gain those expereinces is to leap into society. eg being a parent, a partner, a worker, a student etc where we fit into these roles, and how we deal with them. we can be chucked into society and have our worlds completely turned up side down, the confusion...the turmoil but as we ride this out, it settles, and we grow and thus so does the self. otherwise how do we mature?
a good example of this is ferral children. who have been locked up since birth and then found. say when they were 12. no speach, no toilet control etc they have never set foot into society nor know any social skill at all. so would this be the true the self of that child? without any outside influences.
i dont think you can have a public self without a true self, or visa verca, because the two develop together.
i think the reason why u find the idea of society will make you loose yourself is because you have come to accept yourself when u are in total control of your enviournment and how you act to it, because ur in control you can predict your behaviour, but when u have no control over your enviournment, and cant predict your behaviour, this lack of control makes you question who you are when u r in control, because there different, and its hard to know why this is? well its all you.
you need to expose yourself to the different sides of you by going into society and discovering that, you cant do that from four walls. the more you expereince, the more u know about urself, the further your comfort zone stretches, the more control you have in more situations and then thus...your behaviour will stay more consistant over a more broad spectrum of situations.
sorry if that is long winded. im a psychology student so this is my department lol.
