Who are you?!?!?!?!?
- Thread starter Psychedelicious
- Start date
my sign? Taurus I think. I really know nothing about astrology.
oNecoOlazN
Well-known member
sabbath92002 said:
LOOOOL this is just TOO funny!
...i have no fuc king idea who I am, either... :roll:
BIG_FRINGE
Active member
i think you all over analysing what it is to be someone. you are you. u r the peoeple typing to this site, u are the people suffering with social anxiety, ur r your family, you are what you eat, you are a smoker/non smoker, you are religous/non religous. dont be confused. dont be thinking that everyone outside of this forum know exactly who they are and feels the peace of spirituality. coz its not true. life i finding out who you are with expereince.
truth is, if you feel a void, its proberly because u do the same thing everyday and you dont grow everyday. knowing who you are is by growth, by achievment, disapointment, pain and happyness and morality. are you the same person you were a year, 5 years, 10 years ago? usualy were not, we still have are core personality, but we may be more shy, more outgoing, more stubborn, more stressed etc. depending on our expereinces. dont consume ur energy into finding yourself. spend your energy seeking out expereinces, and the self follows.
truth is, if you feel a void, its proberly because u do the same thing everyday and you dont grow everyday. knowing who you are is by growth, by achievment, disapointment, pain and happyness and morality. are you the same person you were a year, 5 years, 10 years ago? usualy were not, we still have are core personality, but we may be more shy, more outgoing, more stubborn, more stressed etc. depending on our expereinces. dont consume ur energy into finding yourself. spend your energy seeking out expereinces, and the self follows.
I'm INFP. I do feel void, And you're right I think it's because I do the same thing everyday. I've never doubted that no one else feels this way, I'm sure lots of people here too. I'm just so confused. It's nice to know that other people also feel the same way. I'm just so sick of this. Day after day after day after is EXACTLY the same. I can't distinguish one day from another.
BIG_FRINGE
Active member
ya know. theres so many things in this world which is possiable... that even if u really wanted to u could get money, save it up, and fly somewhere and set yaself up, if u really wanted to! coz we u think about, what physically stops you? only thing is, is fear.
If u read success stories of successful people, and why they came successful, is because yes they worked hard, they put alot of time into their talent and ambition and the mega reason. they are fearless which comes with high self confidence granted, but maybe thats why their confident, becasue their fearless. im not preaching, because im not fearless! and im not high in confidence either, but these are the things im working at.
what holds me back is lazyness, and procrasination.
so..you need to find out. what (apart from SA) holds you back?
If u read success stories of successful people, and why they came successful, is because yes they worked hard, they put alot of time into their talent and ambition and the mega reason. they are fearless which comes with high self confidence granted, but maybe thats why their confident, becasue their fearless. im not preaching, because im not fearless! and im not high in confidence either, but these are the things im working at.
what holds me back is lazyness, and procrasination.
so..you need to find out. what (apart from SA) holds you back?
Technically a lot of things are possible, people are just not willing to do all the work involved. How can you just get the money? People can't just do that, can you do that? My self-esteem is pretty much non-existant and I'm sure that's something that holds me back a lot, but what holds me back the most is a lack of opportunity. I'm also healf back by fear yeah your right, and a lot of other things. I just don't know if I can define what it all is.
dpr
Well-known member
Psychedelicious said:I don't feel like I have any hobbies. I have no friends and I don't know how to make any, I think that someone else there might be able to fill part of this emptiness. My education is going okay I guess, I'm still sort of behind. And oh the dreaded question 'What do you wanna be when you grow up'. I have got no idea. I need some dreams, I need some goals, I need something to look forward to each day. Thanks for your response and questions, it really does mean something to me.
I understand. well, what kind of hobby would you like to have? i think a hobby would help you, give you some direction ya know? learn an instrument, maybe? learning an instrument is good meditation. and don't worry about not knowing what you want to be when you grow up. you'll always be you. people who think they "are" what their job is are pretty stupid anyway, in my opinion. i didn't know what i wanted to do job-wise until this year, and I'm 30! i thought i'd never figure it out, but i did. and kind of by accident! but you can take comfort in the fact that you are taking your decision seriously because you know your choice of career will greatly impact your life. that means you're smart! i know a lot of people who just went from high school right to college/uni and were like "let's see.... hmmmm..... travel agent!" like they were picking an ice cream flavour or something. at least you're smart enough that you have a hard time deciding. it should be a hard choice, IMO.
BIG_FRINGE
Active member
I read an interesting article posted as a link on this site, cant remember now tho sorry
But it said in the article to really sit back and think what it is you wanna do. i tried this, and all these thoughts about what i should do, or what i could do rushed to mind, rather than what i wanna do. so i stopped and just thought. no what do i wanna do? and i said...i wanna perform, which is the complete oppisite to what im doing atm. so nah. im not giving up what im doing coz it will give me a good income one day, but im defo gonna persue these dance classes as a hobby, if i get good then ill think about that. this is just an example, using myself.
But if u work out what ur passion is, what u wanna do. then u can work out the problems sorrounding that.
I tottaly relate to where ur comming from, i have identity crisis alot!! ive had depression n shit in the past, and now im ok, but im still REALLY hard on myself. for example, im always asking others what they would of said or done in so and so situation, then taking that as the normal/right way, and my way as wierd/wrong. i constantly critise my own..intuiation almost? logically, the world is so diverse that there is no normal/abnormal way to approach something, all we have is are intiation and our personality to guide us, so why critisize and undermine the very foundations of our actions. this make you put everyone else in the world apart from you, as right all the time, and you right none of the time. how happy are we going to be by doing this? fucking miserable thats what lol.
and its hard to break this habbit, im doing this at a day at a time, coz at times i feel like right ive tried so hard today, and now this evening im back to old habbits, whats da point? BUT THIS IS WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!! ya mind is trained the way u trained it, and it will always go bak to this 'habbit' mindset when u feel ur not coping or theres stress which takes ur mind of the new habbits ur trying to make. but dont give up. one day at a time. tell yaself this is lopole, and go back to trying, it will take a long time before these new habbits, postive ones, come naturally without u even trying.
long post im sorry but just a few more things.
heres a list for u guys, of what im currently trying to change
.not looking for adverse meaning in what people say
.being true to myself even if im the only one with this opinion
.not moaning about problems
.not talking about wether im wierd or not (advice never disscuss things like this with people, because they will give there opinion on how they would approach the sitiation u think u behave wierd in, it will always be different, and u will just feel wierder because ur vunerable right now)
.talk about me more and dont let people ear bash me about them all the time, 50/50 it.
. dont do things just because ur trying to please others, because u think thats what they want u to do.
OK. Example of my first step of putting all this into effect -
So all ma house mates, apart from me and another girl, went home for the weekend, so today my mum comes up. what I want to do is go home with her, because i have no plans this weekend anyways. then the people pleasing comes, and i think oh but my flat mate will think im rude and i should stay to keep her company.
ya know what fuck it. its my life. and i went home lol and i feel good for listening to me.
anyways. long post. hope u maybe found some ideas in there for yaselfs.
But it said in the article to really sit back and think what it is you wanna do. i tried this, and all these thoughts about what i should do, or what i could do rushed to mind, rather than what i wanna do. so i stopped and just thought. no what do i wanna do? and i said...i wanna perform, which is the complete oppisite to what im doing atm. so nah. im not giving up what im doing coz it will give me a good income one day, but im defo gonna persue these dance classes as a hobby, if i get good then ill think about that. this is just an example, using myself.
But if u work out what ur passion is, what u wanna do. then u can work out the problems sorrounding that.
I tottaly relate to where ur comming from, i have identity crisis alot!! ive had depression n shit in the past, and now im ok, but im still REALLY hard on myself. for example, im always asking others what they would of said or done in so and so situation, then taking that as the normal/right way, and my way as wierd/wrong. i constantly critise my own..intuiation almost? logically, the world is so diverse that there is no normal/abnormal way to approach something, all we have is are intiation and our personality to guide us, so why critisize and undermine the very foundations of our actions. this make you put everyone else in the world apart from you, as right all the time, and you right none of the time. how happy are we going to be by doing this? fucking miserable thats what lol.
and its hard to break this habbit, im doing this at a day at a time, coz at times i feel like right ive tried so hard today, and now this evening im back to old habbits, whats da point? BUT THIS IS WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!! ya mind is trained the way u trained it, and it will always go bak to this 'habbit' mindset when u feel ur not coping or theres stress which takes ur mind of the new habbits ur trying to make. but dont give up. one day at a time. tell yaself this is lopole, and go back to trying, it will take a long time before these new habbits, postive ones, come naturally without u even trying.
long post im sorry but just a few more things.
heres a list for u guys, of what im currently trying to change
.not looking for adverse meaning in what people say
.being true to myself even if im the only one with this opinion
.not moaning about problems
.not talking about wether im wierd or not (advice never disscuss things like this with people, because they will give there opinion on how they would approach the sitiation u think u behave wierd in, it will always be different, and u will just feel wierder because ur vunerable right now)
.talk about me more and dont let people ear bash me about them all the time, 50/50 it.
. dont do things just because ur trying to please others, because u think thats what they want u to do.
OK. Example of my first step of putting all this into effect -
So all ma house mates, apart from me and another girl, went home for the weekend, so today my mum comes up. what I want to do is go home with her, because i have no plans this weekend anyways. then the people pleasing comes, and i think oh but my flat mate will think im rude and i should stay to keep her company.
ya know what fuck it. its my life. and i went home lol and i feel good for listening to me.
anyways. long post. hope u maybe found some ideas in there for yaselfs.
strawberrybrunette
Well-known member
You know when some people say "I'd sell my soul for ------" (fill in the blank and etc etc)
Well, i don't actually feel like i have a soul anyway. I believe in nothing - not God, not myself, not humanity. I have very low self esteem. I know little about my ethnic roots and background...those, and other thing just sort of add up to make me feel like i'm not exactly a "whole" individual. That "soul" - substance, pysche, spirit, chi, karma, whatever - is lacking. I'm a functional human being. I function (albeit poorly), but don't see a "higher purpose" or "meaning" behind anything i see or do.
Btw, if anyone replies to this post with "You sound like someone who would benefit from -------" (fill in the religious blank), i will FUCKING find them, and turn their intestines into shoe laces.
Well, i don't actually feel like i have a soul anyway. I believe in nothing - not God, not myself, not humanity. I have very low self esteem. I know little about my ethnic roots and background...those, and other thing just sort of add up to make me feel like i'm not exactly a "whole" individual. That "soul" - substance, pysche, spirit, chi, karma, whatever - is lacking. I'm a functional human being. I function (albeit poorly), but don't see a "higher purpose" or "meaning" behind anything i see or do.
Btw, if anyone replies to this post with "You sound like someone who would benefit from -------" (fill in the religious blank), i will FUCKING find them, and turn their intestines into shoe laces.
haha. I understand what you're saying though. I don't believe in anything either, so nothing really has meaning, especially not me. It might help if I something to identify with or live for, but fuck that I don't want to live for something I don't believe in. Oh and a soul, whatever that is, I don't have a soul. Sometimes I feel almost robotic, because it's so hard for me to feel emotions sometimes. That also means I don't feel sad I guess, but I want some kind of feeling.
Also I'm sorry I never replied to all the other people, I feel like a bitch for that. It was just so many WORDS and it's hard for me to read it all, and think up a response at the same time. But I'm so glad you all responded to me, and I read it. Thanks a lot for responding though, like seriously!!. I ♥ you all. Well sort of.
Also I'm sorry I never replied to all the other people, I feel like a bitch for that. It was just so many WORDS and it's hard for me to read it all, and think up a response at the same time. But I'm so glad you all responded to me, and I read it. Thanks a lot for responding though, like seriously!!. I ♥ you all
. Well sort of.
BIG_FRINGE
Active member
what was the point then? u dont want to live for anything? then how do you expect anything to live for you eg care about you? when you care for nothing?
this isnt me trying to be rude, this is me telling it how it is.
its one thing comming around saying im the victim, and people feeling sorry for you because you feel like you have no soul or woteva, then its another thing comming back saying i dont give a fuck about having a soul anyways.
Woteva you put into life, your gonna get back. your very stupid to think otherwise.
so if you feel as if your getting nothing out of life, first place to look is in the mirror. im not perfect either.
I always used to moan that people never put me first and werent caring and supportive of me. But this was because i was so consumed with my problems i never offered support myself, and i never put anyone else first because i was consumed in solving my problems.
now i spend alot of time listening to people and enphasising with people, that the difference is amazing! when i speak, people stop to listen. i build people up rather than put them down, and in return no one judges me. this can go on and on. point is. i put in 100% now. and i get alot more out. i dont get 100% back, but thats not how it works. we all put 100% in, and we all only get 50% back, right now you are putting 0% in. and your getting negative numbers back.
think about it.
this isnt me trying to be rude, this is me telling it how it is.
its one thing comming around saying im the victim, and people feeling sorry for you because you feel like you have no soul or woteva, then its another thing comming back saying i dont give a fuck about having a soul anyways.
Woteva you put into life, your gonna get back. your very stupid to think otherwise.
so if you feel as if your getting nothing out of life, first place to look is in the mirror. im not perfect either.
I always used to moan that people never put me first and werent caring and supportive of me. But this was because i was so consumed with my problems i never offered support myself, and i never put anyone else first because i was consumed in solving my problems.
now i spend alot of time listening to people and enphasising with people, that the difference is amazing! when i speak, people stop to listen. i build people up rather than put them down, and in return no one judges me. this can go on and on. point is. i put in 100% now. and i get alot more out. i dont get 100% back, but thats not how it works. we all put 100% in, and we all only get 50% back, right now you are putting 0% in. and your getting negative numbers back.
think about it.
I think you misunderstood what I was trying to say. What I meant was that I don't live for anything or anyone with a higher power, or in control. I didn't mean I don't live for anything as in my life is completely worthless. All I meant was like there is nothing in control of my life and I'm just there, so I am the only person who can do it. I never said I felt like I didn't have a soul, I don't even think I belive in souls. I just feel empty, and why? I don't know. I was never playing the victim, I don't want people to feel sorry for me.
I was never asking people to feel sorry for me. I listen to people if they tell me anything, and I don't know exactly what you're saying. I don't put people down and I don't expect them to do everything for me. I'm just saying I'm confused about what to do and how to do it. You don't know what I am putting in, and neither do I, that's not the point though. I need to figure out myself how to put in and get back. It sounds a lot eaiser than it actually is. Basically I'm just totally confused. I don't want people to feel sorry for me though.
I was never asking people to feel sorry for me. I listen to people if they tell me anything, and I don't know exactly what you're saying. I don't put people down and I don't expect them to do everything for me. I'm just saying I'm confused about what to do and how to do it. You don't know what I am putting in, and neither do I, that's not the point though. I need to figure out myself how to put in and get back. It sounds a lot eaiser than it actually is. Basically I'm just totally confused. I don't want people to feel sorry for me though.
Hoth
1
The feeling that people "are" something is a bit of an illusion. It's easy to categorize other people, and to point out their purpose in things, because you can only know their social faces. Paradoxically, you can feel you know somebody better because of not actually getting to know them well enough (only seeing one side of them). It's much harder to think of yourself in simplified terms because you know yourself too well to make generalizations. If you try to think of one of your personality traits, you immediately remember a bunch of counterexamples. If you think up something you've been interested in, you also recall all the times you haven't cared about that, which a third party observer would never notice.
I don't know who I am either, but at least I know how to construct excuses for not knowing.
Good. That's the correct reaction an intelligent person should have to life. People who aren't confused are usually insane.
I don't live for anything or anyone with a higher power, or in control.
Lucky. Being a slave of a higher puppet master wouldn't be much of a life.
nothing really has meaning, especially not me.
Just because things aren't really meaningful doesn't mean they can't be fun, though. I don't really care to overdramatize life into anything more than fleeting, relative meanings.
I don't know who I am either, but at least I know how to construct excuses for not knowing.
Psychedelicious said:
Good. That's the correct reaction an intelligent person should have to life. People who aren't confused are usually insane.
I don't live for anything or anyone with a higher power, or in control.
Lucky. Being a slave of a higher puppet master wouldn't be much of a life.
nothing really has meaning, especially not me.
Just because things aren't really meaningful doesn't mean they can't be fun, though. I don't really care to overdramatize life into anything more than fleeting, relative meanings.
BIG_FRINGE
Active member
you can feel you know somebody better because of not actually getting to know them well enough (only seeing one side of them).
nah i dont think this is the case, me personally. i take everyone with a pinch of salt until i know all the different sides to make a judgement, i dont think ever truly know anybody. a good example of why this is true is because we think we know ourselfs 100% what we would do, what we wouldnt, and sometimes we shock ourselfs by doing something we never ever thought we would do! people say they will never have a one night stand but they did. never smoke. they do etc
to be honest. its human nature to have a public self, and a true self. i dont think any body shows their true selfs 100%. the putting on a brave face saying ya know. some people r miserable at nature but will be laughing at all the parties.
and i think life is about confusion, and is full of confusion, because apart from whats goin on through ur head, u dont ever know what other people are thinking or what their motives are. u dont know anything for sure in fact. but the secret to this is that u take everything at face value but at the same time keep your witts about u, for example if a man says he loves you, beleive it, if you have random women calling his phone, keep an eye on it dont go mental accusing him until u got the facts.
i think it just needs to be kept in perspective. the more u have going on ecxternally in your life, the less time u have to become consumed with this confusion. if you spend alot of time on your own doing nothing, the confusion will be the biggest thing in your life. like old people with trivia, their just bored!
i moved to london. and basicly got a brand new life because i was so bored of the one i had for 8 years. i felt alot of the same u did, in terms of friendships and family, nothing for me has changed, just my own personal life has changed. it was the best thing i have ever done because ive realised from that. which is back to the point.
you get out of life, what you put in. and you will feel the way you do according to this.
if you feel useless and dumb its because u dont challenge yourself or even try to challenge yourself.
if you feel confident and pride, its because you've dont something u wanted to do, and then done it well
etc etc.
nah i dont think this is the case, me personally. i take everyone with a pinch of salt until i know all the different sides to make a judgement, i dont think ever truly know anybody. a good example of why this is true is because we think we know ourselfs 100% what we would do, what we wouldnt, and sometimes we shock ourselfs by doing something we never ever thought we would do! people say they will never have a one night stand but they did. never smoke. they do etc
to be honest. its human nature to have a public self, and a true self. i dont think any body shows their true selfs 100%. the putting on a brave face saying ya know. some people r miserable at nature but will be laughing at all the parties.
and i think life is about confusion, and is full of confusion, because apart from whats goin on through ur head, u dont ever know what other people are thinking or what their motives are. u dont know anything for sure in fact. but the secret to this is that u take everything at face value but at the same time keep your witts about u, for example if a man says he loves you, beleive it, if you have random women calling his phone, keep an eye on it dont go mental accusing him until u got the facts.
i think it just needs to be kept in perspective. the more u have going on ecxternally in your life, the less time u have to become consumed with this confusion. if you spend alot of time on your own doing nothing, the confusion will be the biggest thing in your life. like old people with trivia, their just bored!
i moved to london. and basicly got a brand new life because i was so bored of the one i had for 8 years. i felt alot of the same u did, in terms of friendships and family, nothing for me has changed, just my own personal life has changed. it was the best thing i have ever done because ive realised from that. which is back to the point.
you get out of life, what you put in. and you will feel the way you do according to this.
if you feel useless and dumb its because u dont challenge yourself or even try to challenge yourself.
if you feel confident and pride, its because you've dont something u wanted to do, and then done it well
etc etc.
Hoth
1
BIG_FRINGE said:
I don't think I know myself 100%. When I look at my history I see a lot of confusing inconsistencies. And when faced with social challenges, for example, I usually come out of them wondering what strange person that was saying and doing what I said and did and if that was the real me.
to be honest. its human nature to have a public self, and a true self. i dont think any body shows their true selfs 100%. the putting on a brave face saying ya know. some people r miserable at nature but will be laughing at all the parties.
The public self is also a truth, though, and the private self can be a bit of a lie. I can sit around at home for a year with my "true" self, then when I'm forced into a public social situation I discover something different about me. Humans are social creatures, our sense of self depends on our relationships with society and society is more than capable of changing us (which is one of the scariest things about socializing, for me -- the fear that if I'm assimilated into society I'll lose myself).
Behaviorists will argue that the public self is the only truth and the private is an illusion. I won't go that far, of course.
The only real you is the sum of all the inconsistencies.
the more u have going on externally in your life, the less time u have to become consumed with this confusion.
True. The busy person never has time to wonder or worry. That can be good or bad depending on your perspective... personally I like to think.