when you do have something to say

[honeydippedxo]

when you do have something to say do you find that people ignore you? no matter how loud and clear i try to talk its like everyone pretends i didnt say anything at all. its like ok even if you couldnt understand what i said i know you heard a voice atleast mutter a bit. they dont even bother to say "what did you say i couldnt hear you." is it because they dont care to hear what i had to say? because it happens even when its only me and one other person. omg its even more humiliating when i try to speak in a group of people around and everyone ignores me exept for one person and instead of talking back with me or acknowledging me, they just kind of give me a look of pity and turn back to the group. Do you guys know what i mean?

 

[Looking_in105]

yepp i certainly do know what you mean.

sometimes i feel like i just give off this vibe that im just not important enough, or that my opinions don't matter and I have nothing intelligent to say.

but maybe i just dont talk loud enough, or im not forthright enough? i think its all in your conviction, and if you are confident in what you are saying, other people will acknowledge that.

 

[N1LOY]

If they give you a look, that possibly mean that they heard you. And because they have turned back, that means maybe they are annoyed of you and do not want you to be there. If they don't call you back when you walk away, then my assumptions will be correct.

Solution: Talk less with more important subject, instead of talking more and annoying them. Have some self-confidence.

Looking for attention much?
Hmm... if I was a girl, I would put my tight jeans on and talk with my ass. But you don't really want to do that, huh?
Real attention has a price and let time build it.

 

[JamesSmith]

They don't care what you are saying because it's a natural human act to ignore something you can't hear. What's happening is they aren't taking you seriously and don't understand you. Plus, these people sound like REAL jerks, not friends. Friends don't ignore eachother. You might want to look into hanging out with different people that respect you and understand you.

 

[honeydippedxo]

Lookingin105 - yeah i think you're right about how you say it. im just trying to find out what i do wrong cus man i try real hard to get people to listen. i guess i better try harder.


Ny1loy- maybe i am annoying lol humm idk all i can say is what i think so if my thoughts are annoying i dont know if there's much i can do about that. lol the tight jeans get people to take you even less serious. i dont wanna be looked at ne ways just herd lol.



Jamessmith- i dont have friends only family. this usually happens at family get togethers. i havent had friends since i was 14. they were really nice to me and paid attention to me but they took the wrong road in the end with older men and drugs and stuff so i had to let them go. im trying to find new friends tho eventually hopefully ill get atleast one. fingers crossed!

 

[Sial Axetder]

When do I have something to say? Right now.

I am normally quiet so when something I have needs to be said and I speak. All listen. Which does cause problems.

 

[vj288]

When I have something to say 9/10 times I don't say it. When I do, the person I am saying it to almost always listens. I don't talk in groups, if I did I'm sure I'd be ignored, which is better than being the center of attention think.

 

[Feathers]

Hm, with family (or friends/other people) it can be tricky - because there can be 'alliances' (who sides with who) and some people can be really loud/argumentative.. And in some families or groups if you're not loud enough they don't hear you..

Sometimes you can have a 'totally different' or 'unpopular' opnion and people can 'mishear' you on purpose.. (if they don't wanna do it or hear about it, even if it's a good thing)
Or, if they discussed it already, or if they think you might be naive or silly for even suggesting it.. (maybe people who think they 'know it all' or 'know better than you' can do this.. Or if any brothers/sisters are angry at you or such.. It may have nothing to do with the actual situation.. Maybe you were also always 'the baby' or 'silent one' and they aren't used to you talking and having own opinion..)

There are lots of books and websites where you can learn more about communication and assertiveness and such. You can improve your skills and if it's about something important you can research the topic and bring up arguments that will convince the family. For example, what is most important to the deciding family member? If it's money, find ways how (your suggestion) will save money, support with info and/or examples (how other people did it, even if it's people from online blogs or articles, it can still be inspiring)..

You can also learn about negotiating or such, check what your local library has, or what courses are available locally, or google things up..

 

[jesushelpme]

I have a bad habit of not listening to others, they talk ,or tell me a story about there past etc and i switch off...i dont do it on purpose or anything like that, i just cant focus and voices when i got a million in my head to deal with, i get sidetracked, i am so aware of how my facial expression are too when someone is talking that i get in a mess...i look like a started can when i do pay attention and i look like an ignorant bitch when i dont LOL

*startled cat* not started can ...stupid typo

 

[Dronee]

Honestly, unless it's something really, really important and I'll get sacked or worse... I will simply not mingle with such people who completely ignore me. The point of conversation and mingling is just that. If you're completely left out on purpose and they ignore you and invalidate your existence, I don't see the point.

Usually in family gatherings and related events, I'll just keep myself busy with making the drinks and cleaning up... So I have a legitimate reason not to engage in conversation with certain people...

 

[lunaticbinge]

I was close to making a thread about this the other day. It's unbelievably infuriating. To muster up all this courage only to be completely ignored? It just goes to show that people look down on you if you're of a nervous disposition.
Sometimes I'll know I said something as clear as day, and still the general consensus is to simply ignore everything I just said. Amazing that somehow everyone gets the same line of thinking when it comes to people like us. I don't understand why society holds such a grudge against brevity these days, but there it is.

 

[JamesSmith]

I believe your problem is simply lack of assertion. You need to put yourself in a position to be listened to and looked at. Like if there is a group of people talking you must get yourself inside that group. If just tag along outside of the group don't expect to be heard. And you need to speak up too. I know, this stuff is really hard for us SA people, a lot easier said than done. But if you ever want to be heard, you have to make yourself be heard, you can't expect others to just notice the passive person standing away from everyone. Look at it this way, would you ignore someone who is facing you right in front of you and speaking loud enough?