All this fear of people & eye-contact has been "normal" for me. I never could imagine life any different. Same with being isolated & having zero self-esteem. I guess my family & society failed me. It felt normal to be terrified to be seen, in public places. I often felt great shame. And i guess i attracted attrocious behaviour towards me (bullying/etc). That may be why i have problems with rage outbursts & serious animosity towards people who disrespect me, etc. They may be triggering stuff from way back to my childhood. It could even be why i'm basically an alcoholic. And why i have generalized anxiety disorder. And social phobia. And avoidance disorder. :question:
Tbh, i don't even know why i need to make eye contact, except that it's "something people do", so i try to do it.
My biggest issue is that I may say something silly or stupid.
I have done that in the past and those memories will haunt me forever.
Then the possibility of that happening makes me so nervous, that it can just freeze my brain up, and I can't think of anything to say at all! mg: