What would a social anxiety commune be like?

[Lorraine Manca]

If there were some sort of colony the good news since everyone would have it, no one would be considered abnormal or mentally ill! Now there's a guaranteed cure. It actually the only one that sounds plausible. I kid you not, the therapist i go to has resorted to waving a wand in my face. Maybe she needs treatment of her own. at any rate, what would it be like? would you join it? I would! If the amish can do it, we could do it. maybe we could be paid by some research institute if we let them study us. Or else their going to have to go find themselves some shy rats.

 

[Pliny]

If there were some sort of colony the good news since everyone would have it, no one would be considered abnormal or mentally ill! Now there's a guaranteed cure. It actually the only one that sounds plausible. I kid you not, the therapist i go to has resorted to waving a wand in my face. Maybe she needs treatment of her own. at any rate, what would it be like? would you join it? I would! If the amish can do it, we could do it. maybe we could be paid by some research institute if we let them study us. Or else their going to have to go find themselves some shy rats.

Hm.

You know, that would be VERY interesting. It would be like having a party with people who all are too nervous to approach the opposite sex. Your all in the same boat so there's nothing really to be afraid of! And yeah, I would def. go to something like that although finding finances might be a problem...

P.S. I hate when people can't understand other people's problems so they undermine it. I was the same way in Math class..... ugh... ::

 

[Lorraine Manca]

Anh, i think the finances could be worked out. Especially if it were like an apartment complex where only people with the disorder could rent. id be a bit more tricky if you were going amish and aimed for complete quarantine from normal folks. But i think even that would be possible. It'd be kind of like Zion for shy people. of course everybody would be working toward recovery, getting rid of the twitches and all that jazz. Maybe everyone could do group exposure outings. Even if you had already recovered, it'd be nice to be around the sensitive and soulful people that tend to have the problem rather than trying to relate to bland over achievers.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

My theory is that not only would the pressure be off to put up a good social "performance", you would not even feel the restraints that normal people feel. I think everyone's personality would shine a lot brighter, and itd be pretty neat. A place for sincerity instead of formality. Even the most causual coversations have an element of formality. to eliminate that would be liberating. do i make sense?

 

[CoyoteX]

I vistited an Amish community once, it was an interesting experience. They definitely have their own means of living, and don't seem to mind what the rest of the world thinks (& why should they)...but I did get the sense they are rejecting the world in some sense. I don't know if I'd personally live in a commune, I think I'd feel like I'm only secluding myself, but in a larger context. I think it would be good for therapeutic purposes, until the 'training wheels' came off so to speak (getting over the process of SA)...but I think ultimately I'd want to be integrated into the 'world'...because that's my goal, that's where the anxiety is, 'out there'.

 

[Pliny]

My theory is that not only would the pressure be off to put up a good social "performance", you would not even feel the restraints that normal people feel. I think everyone's personality would shine a lot brighter, and itd be pretty neat. A place for sincerity instead of formality. Even the most causual coversations have an element of formality. to eliminate that would be liberating. do i make sense?

Beautifully explained!

 

[iamthenra]

Yeah, sure count me in! It would be kind of like the "island of misfit toys" from the classic animated show "Rodolph the Red Nosed Reindeer".

We're a couple of misfits
We're a couple of misfits
What's the matter with misfits
That's where we fit in!

We're not daffy and dilly
Don't go 'round willy nilly
Seems to us kinda silly
That we don't fit in.

We may be different from the rest
Who decides the test
Of what is really best?

We're a couple of misfits
We're a couple of misfits
What's the matter with misfits
That's where we fit in!

--(this part sung by Rudolph)--
Why am I such a misfit?
I am not just a nit wit!
I'm an adorable reindeer
Why don't I fit in?

--(this part sung by Hermey)--
Why am I such a misfit?
I am not just a nit wit!
They can't fire me.
I QUIT!

We may be different from the rest
Who decides the test
Of what is really best?

We're a couple of misfits
We're a couple of misfits
What's the matter with misfits
That's where we fit in!

 

[Oscelot]

Hell yes I'm down!

 

[this_portrait]

I wouldn't mind. At least I could be in close proximity to people like me, instead of real far away like I am now. I swear, there's like NO social phobes in Chicago/IL! O____o At least on here there isn't. . .

 

[WelshOne]

I would definitely be up for living in a commune, lol. I really wish I had at least one friend with SA who lived close to me.

 

[Rodney]

I still think I would feel isolated, different, and afraid that people wouldn't like me. I wouldn't approach anyone to start a convo or anything...

 

[thor01]

I could imagine that being great to at least try haha. Lets do it!! hahaha. Like people said there wouldn't be a need to worry about what you're doing because everyone has the problem so the nerves wouldn't need to be an awkward thing. But I would fear that in that situation it would in some way just become like in real life, with the most confident/talkative/desirable or whatever out of the group rising to the top haha, and it just creating the same problem haha.

 

[Scrabbl]

haha I'm in.

".. but what if even social phobics reject me?"

 

[Lorraine Manca]

haha I'm in.

".. but what if even social phobics reject me?"

that's hilarious, i have actually had that same thought. what if i couldnt even act natural and un nervous around people that are like me? but i like to hope for the best!

maybe we could all play a game where everyone tried to get rejected by being the most awkward and odd. that would be fun.

 

[Nicholas]

I thought of this too, a lot of times, and I was convinced it was the real solution, the only solution. Now I am not sure anymore. People who have social anxiety are afraid of other people in general, not just scared of one kind of people. Being in among SA sufferers won't make you stop worrying about what others think, you'll still be paranoid.

I once thought I had to be among SA sufferers to feel good, accepted, etc., but I am now almost convinced that SA sufferers wouldn't be good together. Just look at this forum, or any other forum on SA, depression, etc. It's only people complaining, ruminating over their problems!
That's why I once thought that meeting a girl with SA or depression would be best, as a possible girlfriend, but lately I've been thinking that wouldn't be really true. The best thing would actually be a normal girl with no phobias but with lots of empathy and love, patient and willing to help me without pressuring me.
So the best solution would be a community of SA sufferers AND normal people willing to help us and be our friends. Got it? It's not really utopia in theory, but it is in practice.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

anh, i think it depends on the cause of your social anxiety. If the cause is predominantly fear of embarrasment or rejection, then yeah, a community of social phobics wouldnt make a difference or be beneficial. However if it was instead a more fundamental fear of people because of abuse or if you learned when you were a kid that people arent to be trusted, then it would beneficial. You know more of a fear issue than a self esteem issue.

i understand what you're saying though, but you give normal people too much credit. Sometimes when you are given a different deck of cards than anyone else, you need to figure out your own game and play by your own rules.
good luck finding a girl that understands mental illness but isnt mentally ill, that will be quite an endeavor. i've been through the same thought process as you, but people with head problems arent inferior to normal people. That just perpetuates the cycle of feeling subhuman. social anxiety isnt just a stubborn wart you have to get burned off your ass, its integral. I know people will disagree. Dont take me too seriously though. everyones different.

 

[Alchemy]

Yeah!! I think that would be great, kinda surprised theres not something like that out there already! I would certainly give it a go! Have been scouring the net looking for some way to escape for a while, just feel like I'm living in a fish bowl right now! Could we get this organised for the weekend!

 

[Nicholas]

good luck finding a girl that understands mental illness but isnt mentally ill, that will be quite an endeavor. i've been through the same thought process as you, but people with head problems arent inferior to normal people..

I'm not saying that. In fact, only people with mental problems can understand other people with mental problems. Normal people can't understand anything about psychological trouble. But what I'm saying is that maybe I can get better and enjoy being with several different people, not only SA sufferers. Because after all, most SA sufferers want to be able to be more comfortable in society, not to only live in a SA community they never get out of, I guess. That's why I said we should also consider "normal" sensitive people. I really don't think the only good people for us must necessarily be SA sufferers as well.

One SA sufferer plus one SA sufferer might only be equal to two SA sufferers. But one motivated SA sufferer plus one normal sensitive "friend" might one day be equal to two normal sensitive friends.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

I'm not saying that. In fact, only people with mental problems can understand other people with mental problems. Normal people can't understand anything about psychological trouble. But what I'm saying is that maybe I can get better and enjoy being with several different people, not only SA sufferers. Because after all, most SA sufferers want to be able to be more comfortable in society, not to only live in a SA community they never get out of, I guess. That's why I said we should also consider "normal" sensitive people. I really don't think the only good people for us must necessarily be SA sufferers as well.

One SA sufferer plus one SA sufferer might only be equal to two SA sufferers. But one motivated SA sufferer plus one normal sensitive "friend" might one day be equal to two normal sensitive friends.

I think this is comedy of categorization. First, of course you wouldnt limit your self to knowing sa sufferers. Second, there is a wide variety of people within the category of the social phobic. I really didnt mean for this thread to be serious. its just an exercise of imagination. i think everyone would recover faster, be able to laugh more, and have more fun. I guess it could back fire if no one was willing to take the risk of being out going, but if you have the initiative to pick your self up and go to a community like that, chances are... you'd be willing to take the risk to break out of your usual social patterns.

 

[Predacon]

Its an interesting idea. I wonder what it would be like, would there need to be lots of land so everyone could feel like they had plenty of space, would the food hall be composed of single person tables