What should I do?

[hangbi92]

I have forced myself to go outside many times and I have come to this conclusion: I definitely dont belong to the outside world. There is no single moment I can enjoy myself out there. All I can feel is anxiety. Not to mention when I see people on the street happily enjoy their life with their lovers, I feel more depressed when comparing my life to theirs. I feel like I dont belong to this world.
So most of my time I would stay at home, lock myself in my room. It makes me feel comfortable, but doesnt make me feel less lonely. I am obsessed with the stuffy atmosphere of my room. I think Im going crazy; as if my head could explode anytime. I want to run out there and have friends, but the moment I go outside, my anxiety will start to control me. I feel like Im being trapped. I try to do my hobbies like drawing, gaming, playing guitar, internet, music... but I still feel very lonely. Its summer time, everyone has plans for holidays, parties,... but Im here in my room all the time. Today morning I wake up and looked outside the windows; it was such a nice weather, the sun was shining brightly. But it didnt really matter to me, because once Im out there, my anxiety will prevent me from enjoying the beauty of life. I think Im the only one to stay at home on such a nice day.
I have tried to go out there with the hope that I will get better one day. But I was wrong; no matter how hard I tried, the anxiety is still exactly like how it was from the start. Everyday to me is either like a fight or just passes meaninglessly. Im only 18 now; how am I supposed to live my life like this for the rest of my life. Please tell me what I should do? I feel so hopeless

 

[coyote]

#1. Recognize that your thoughts, feelings, fears, are not normal - don't believe what's going on in your head.

#2. Seek treatment from a professional, just as you would for any illness.

You CAN overcome this if you want to. Obviously, you can't do it by yourself, or you would have by now, right? So get some help.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I can relate to nearly everything you wrote.
I also agree with coyote, especially on #2.

I don't know if you're receiving any help or not, but you really should, despite any fears you may have over it. I didn't start receiving help until I was 25 years old. I know that I would be in a much better place now if I had gotten help when I was your age. The sooner you get help, the sooner you can start to recover. You're very young, even though you probably don't feel that way, but I'm ten years older than you &, believe me, you still have so much time & you can definitely get better & live the kind of life you want, so long as you get the proper help.

 

[mrb]

#1. Recognize that your thoughts, feelings, fears, are not normal - don't believe what's going on in your head.

#2. Seek treatment from a professional, just as you would for any illness.

You CAN overcome this if you want to. Obviously, you can't do it by yourself, or you would have by now, right? So get some help.

coyote is right , you must seek help , hey good luck and i hope your life gets better with the right treatment dont give into it , fight it lol

 

[Haruhiist]

I understand that your anxious to seek for help. It's such a hard step to do, but once you did it, it'll probably help you a lot.

But if you don't want to do it (still, just consider it), try to go out with your friends. Try to do stuff you enjoy, and maybe it's scary, but after a while, when you do it long enough, you'll stop caring. It's like hearing the same noise over and over, it may be annoying in the beginning, but your brain starts to filter it out.

 

[hangbi92]

Hey thank u all.
Yeah I agree with coyote, i cant improve by myself, or I would have by now. Actually Ive already been helped, but its kind of free service so I can only meet the psychiatrist on certain days and not often. They also put me into a group of social anxiety people to work with them. It kind of helps me get out of my house in summer. I will be introduced to the group next week. I want to try everything I can before taking medication. I really hate medicine. But if its the only way, I will.
Wish you guys best of luck

 

[dottie]

i think you are smart to not automatically request medication. good luck and let us know how the group goes!

 

[Danedo]

Good for you khanhberlake_92

You are a young guy, so don't stress too much.

 

[Dronee]

Hey thank u all.
Yeah I agree with coyote, i cant improve by myself, or I would have by now. Actually Ive already been helped, but its kind of free service so I can only meet the psychiatrist on certain days and not often. They also put me into a group of social anxiety people to work with them. It kind of helps me get out of my house in summer. I will be introduced to the group next week. I want to try everything I can before taking medication. I really hate medicine. But if its the only way, I will.
Wish you guys best of luck

All the best in your endeavor man!

 

[sevenroses]

Well so far you have joined an SA group which is great!! That's the first step. It's nice to do baby steps which is better in the long run do exposure with minimal anxiety at first.

 

[coyote]

one step at a time, keep moving forward, you're doing great!