what shall i do? Its killing me!!

[mrlonely1]

So this is how it started.

When I was 7 years old my family and I had just moved to the projects. There I meet 3 good friends. My friend who goes by the name Friend1 suggested that we should spend the night at his house every weekend. So we did. Every weekend We would play video games, watch scary movies, play football, prank call random people, and other fun stuff.

This is where things start changing. Friend1 had a sister who I at the time had no interest of befriending but every time I went over she would mess around with me, play jokes on me, and woke me up in the mornings. I would play along too but I just didn't hang out with her much. 2 or 3 years went by and we had become good friends. I started to enjoyed every moment we had.

As time went on my feelings for her became more and more. She became the reason why I would even go to Friend1's house. Friend1 got a job but I would still go over to his house to hang out with his sister. At first I would argue with myself about my feelings for her but as more years went by I started accepting it. I had completely fallen for her.

This is where I !@#$ up. I never asked her out cause being with her was enough and it felt like we where together. Then she got a boyfriend. I got jealous and gave her the silent treatment and just like that it was the end of our friendship. I stopped going over to her house and never heard from her again.

It's been five or six years now and I just can't forget about her. And if I do there's always something that reminds me of her. She is now married and about to have a kid. I know I should forget about her but I can't. I wanna talk to her and see her again but I feel like I'm gonna make things worst. What shall I do how can I move on?

 

[Foxface]

I've been in similar situations, never been close to anyone, nor had any friends.

I dwell on it and it goes away after a couple of days. Has this been recent or have you've been thinking about it all this time?

I do have feelings for some people sometimes, and sometimes I remember back when I had feelings for a girl years ago or something and think what I should've done differently or if I stood a chance.

I also dwell on past events that mean a lot to me, and I wish I could go back.

 

[mrlonely1]

I've been in similar situations, never been close to anyone, nor had any friends.

I dwell on it and it goes away after a couple of days. Has this been recent or have you've been thinking about it all this time?

I do have feelings for some people sometimes, and sometimes I remember back when I had feelings for a girl years ago or something and think what I should've done differently or if I stood a chance.

I also dwell on past events that mean a lot to me, and I wish I could go back.

It's something that goes on and off. I forget for a couple of months and then there's always something that reminds me of her like a song or a dream.

 

[karl:-/]

I dream randomly about an ex girlfriend but I hold my grandfathers saying close to me..

"There are no would of,could of,should of, what's done is done. This is how life is,you'll be a man some day"...

I never got the "you'll be a man" part untill now women/friends come and go. So always think life revolves just like the world and new friends/women will return...

 

[Dark angel]

Oh my! Same thing happens to me with a guy that I met almost 10 years ago and who confess to me back then that I liked him. At first, I couldn't believe it because I didn't understand why anybody would have such interest in me. But as we kept having conversations on the phone and stuff I notice that I also liked him. Nothing serious happen between us because I never express my feelings altogether to him until we had this big fight that torn us apart. He said to me that maybe it was bette for us to stop talking because he didn't want to cause me any trouble and I said to him that he couldn't do that to me, after I was starting to have feelings for him. Its been almost five years since I don't know anything about him but I think about our conversations almost every day. It's like I have them engraved in my memory to perfection. I thought I was the only one who did this. I really miss him, but I have no way of knowing where he is. So I should just let him where he is right now, the past. But it is difficult because it was the only time that someone showed such an endearment towards me and that the sentiment was mutual. The other day my friend started talking about, what his live must be like now and if I knew anything about him. I told her that no, I didn't but that I WISHED he was still in my life. Then she said to me: "Oh my, someone's still attached to him!!!". She was shocked, and my answer to her reaction was: "I'll always be attached to him somehow, because it was the first time I felt something like that and because he gave some good old laughs. That is something to remember him by". I don't think the memory of him will vanish away so easily.
So, I can understand easily what you are going through, I guess that sentiment will always be there with you, you'll always have a special place for her in your heart but you must simply move on. Anyway you can, either by meeting new people or any other possible way.

 

[da_illest101]

I saw that you explain your story in my thread, since you read mine i don't need to write it here.

The thing that I hate about what happened to you is that I'm a 100% sure in 5 - 6 years I still won't get over it either, unless someone makes me forget it. I keep going on her facebook and everytime she post something she gets no reply. I remember how much she hated that. Her pain makes me smile lol ( i'm evil, but she deserves it) I'm just hoping someday she is gonna try to contact me and I'll just denied her. I miss the good time and the connection, but I doubt i would retry a friendship with her

stay strong my friend

 

[liveindreams]

I think you really need to move on, since she's married now w/ a kid on the way. Focus on hobbies, join some clubs, meet some new people. Hard stuff I know but I don't think talking to her now is going to do any good whatsoever.

 

[ForeverTheWeirdKid]

"A man is without love, at least he is free" Be free, that special someone awaits you. Let her go

 

[Solitudes_Grace]

Perhaps you feel lonely now, so you are dwelling on your feelings and memories of the past when you had felt a connection with another person in order to cope with your current loneliness. The important thing to remember is that the past is the past. Try focusing on the present and on the future instead. I know moving on can be difficult, and I'm not even really sure if I know how one goes about moving on. I wish I could give more advice, but I don't know what else I can say.

 

[mrlonely1]

Thank you all for your help and support. I wanna move on and I think the way to do so is by dating. The thing is I've never been on a date, never asked a girl out.

The thing with me is I can't start or keep a coversation going. I don't talk cause I'm afraid I might say something stupid. If theres a silent akward moment my anxiety kicks in and I start sweating and I just wanna leave. I think everyone is judging me not in a good way and I start feeling down.

I need some advice on how to date.

 

[dragonoth]

You could use dating as an opportunity to practise your social skills. Meet up with someone you have talked to and gotten to know for a bit and explain to them that you're shy and might not have much to say so they'll understand. That way you can relax without the pressure of trying to be somebody you're not. Nobody expects you to be perfect so don't worry.

 

[mrlonely1]

You could use dating as an opportunity to practise your social skills. Meet up with someone you have talked to and gotten to know for a bit and explain to them that you're shy and might not have much to say so they'll understand. That way you can relax without the pressure of trying to be somebody you're not. Nobody expects you to be perfect so don't worry.

It's gonna be a challenge but ill give it my best. Thanks for the advice.