What makes a good friend?

redski

redski

1
Hey all,

I cannot say I have had the best friends in my life.
Because of my SA/SP I have probably tried to hard to
be a good friend and just ended up getting used.
I have dropped contact almost completely with all such
people and have been looking back at it all.

So my questions to you all.

What is your personal opinion of what makes a good friend?
 
Harleyq

Harleyq

Well-known member
Somebody I can trust, when it comes down to it. Every friend I've made has been because I trusted them with anything. The minute someone breaks that trust I drop contact, and by breaking trust, I don't mean they make a little mistake now and then, I mean they do something wrong to me and I can sense that they'll do it again. I don't care how fun somebody is or how well I get along with them, if I have to watch what I say because they might run their mouths or use that info knowing that I'd be hurt, it's not worth it.
 
reslo

reslo

Well-known member
i think that there are definitely different ways of being a goodfriend, and its good to [eventually] have a variety~
like the friend....
you can always can always count on
who can make you laugh/ or just have fun with
you can relate to/ share common interests
who will defend you
give you good advice
who will listen to your problems/be a confidant

they don't have to do all of those things, usually just one...and hopefully they'll accept you for who you are, and visa-versa

in the past few years as my social anxiety has gotten worse, the few friends i have has gotten smaller, which is both good and bad. As a social phobic, losing any friend is tough- even if that person is completely disrespectful. For me, I've realized that i held onto friendships that made me feel worse about myself just for the sake of hanging on~
 
PennyLane

PennyLane

Well-known member
I think you could come up with a list of things that you want from a friend but as I got older I realised that often even good friends make mistakes, sometimes they are selfish, sometimes they let you down...but I know I am not perfect and need forgiveness sometimes so I figure I owe the same in return (within reason obviously). Often I think people just get caught in their own lives without meaning any offense to anyone else.

There was a thread similar to this about what u want in a boy/girl but when my bf used to annoy me I would remind myself that it is give and take....he is also having to put up with my flaws....the same goes with friends.
 
M

Miami

Well-known member
-someone you can trust and not use what you tell them against you
-someone that truly likes you for who you are.
-someone that has your back even though you are outnumbered and guaranteed to lose. :D (someone that's willing to get their ass kicked for you)
 
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redski

redski

1
PennyLane said:
...the same goes with friends.
Click to expand...
I understand this. It's 50% give and take from both ends.
My reason for asking was because of SA/SP and low self esteem I
was always under the impression that it was more give
from my end. What I have learned is that there"is" a limit.
Friendship should not be onesided as it was in many cases
for me and yes I know that I am not perfect.

What ever people answer I will think back and see if I was a good friend.
I tend to try to point two ways, outwards at the world and back at myself.
 
B

Bar-AKA-Redzer

Guest
loyal, trust, respect, understanding, someone you can count on, someone to tell you things will be ok, someone to make you smile when you are sad, someone to be with when your alone, someone who believes in you, someone who will listen to you, someone who will help you, someone who will do what ever he/she can to help there friend through anything, someone to be there for you day or night rain or shine.
 
redski

redski

1
Bar-AKA-Redzer said:
loyal, trust, respect, understanding, someone you can count on, someone to tell you things will be ok, someone to make you smile when you are sad, someone to be with when your alone, someone who believes in you, someone who will listen to you, someone who will help you, someone who will do what ever he/she can to help there friend through anything, someone to be there for you day or night rain or shine.
Click to expand...
Is this an ideal in our minds or are their actually people like this. I have not come across many in my life.
 
divethruhaze

divethruhaze

Well-known member
Bar-AKA-Redzer said:
loyal, trust, respect, understanding, someone you can count on, someone to tell you things will be ok, someone to make you smile when you are sad, someone to be with when your alone, someone who believes in you, someone who will listen to you, someone who will help you, someone who will do what ever he/she can to help there friend through anything, someone to be there for you day or night rain or shine.
Click to expand...

these, but not necessarily ALL of these at the same time. and som1 you can have fun with
 
B

Bar-AKA-Redzer

Guest
divethruhaze said:
these, but not necessarily ALL of these at the same time. and som1 you can have fun with
Click to expand...

Thats true yes, but what i would like most is trust, loyalty and respect. Thats all if you can get these from people then the rest will follow naturally.
 
B

Bar-AKA-Redzer

Guest
Ahh there is, u just gotta meet them. They are few and far between these days though.
 
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