What is your SA rooted in?

[TheSanctuarian]

I don't think I have developed SA, but I have been known to be very mistrustful of new people. I can't even tell you why :: Its like I meet people and hate them straight away. All the friends I have are introduced by other friends, friends I had before I became so cynical.

 

[bulent]

Three things: being physically and mentally weak, being ugly and having
lowIQ.


I feel inferior and vulnerable around people because i feel they might
taunt me for i have severe facial scarring, or hurt me physically because
i am underweight and may not be able to protect myself, or even if
noone hurts me i always do something stupid and be ridiculed by others.

These things happened so many times in the past but not anymore
cause i was so sick of people i started avoiding people long ago.
I even avoid being in the same room with my family members cause
i'm tired of seeing them turning their heads away when they look at
my face as if they seen someting disgusting.

I can't stand being in the same room with other people more than a few minutes.

I'm happier when i'm alone. I numb myself using computer
and i spend rest of the day sleeping.. I repeat this everyday.

My scars are my biggest problem. Last year i made the mistake of going
to a barber. I cut my own hair using a clipper but i don't know why i
decided to go out to get my hair cut that day.I was seated near the
window and lighting was really bad. When i looked in the mirror instantly
felt suicidally depressed cause i saw my scars were far worse than i
thought and it was a real torture sitting there and staring at my
disfigured face for half an hour.

I know i can get stronger physically and mentally but i will never get
rid of very severe acne scarring and it's hard to accept myself this way.

 

[kilojoule]

I would just freeze and not say anything at all if I was called on in class, even though I had known (and knew afterwards) the answer to the question. According to my mom, I did this when I was little and given an IQ test or something, where the tester showed me a picture of a woman. My mom asked me why I didn't answer and I said I wasn't sure what the right answer was, since it could have been a woman, or a lady, or a girl, or a mommy, or a sister... and I didn't want to be wrong

I did this too, I got a reputation in school for being a bad girl. I was always in trouble for it too. The reasons I ended up in detention all the time- it was never because I did something- It was because I didn't do anything, didn't answer questions, refused to read essays, disappeared moments before fieldtrips and frequently got suspended and even expelled from one school for skipping classes.

I battled with it as long as I can remember but I usually won. It wasn't until I turned 19 that I got it bad like this. I got into trouble one night, I was out drinking in a club with my friend but when I left, naively I left alone and I was followed by a stranger and I never made it home and that experience ensured I never crawled back out of my shell.

 

[TheSanctuarian]

@need_to_get_out_more

Being followed is never going to be a pleasant experience. i'm guessing nothing happened, as if nothing happend- you can only look at it as you getting out of the situation unscathed.

maybe, I'm an optimist after all.

 

[SM1010]

SA isn't genetic! It just a reaction to the way your parents treated you! SA isn't really a part of who you are deep down (the inner you), it is just something that has latched itself onto the outside of your being. Something which can be removed with the the right resources. Each of us has these resources, but we just dont necessarily believe we do, and this is why we find it hard to cope with our SA.

I don't believe that at all, and the studies I've read suggest that genetics play a big role.

Yes, environmental/social factors also play a huge role but they aren't the ONLY factors causing it.

Neither of my parents displayed avoidance techniques due to social fears. My dad is extremely social and my mom is one of those people who always attacks her fears head on even though she may have a lot of them. I was always forced/encouraged to do the same. Yet I ended up with Social Anxiety.

 

[ridicule]

I feel a little bad for some of you, for feeling like you're being judged all the time. To be honest, I really don't care about other people's opinions and feeling about me, I only go through the normal rigors of life (wearing the right clothes, smiling, etc.) because it makes whatever situation I'm in go by faster. But the thing that I think pushed me off the brink is just the general ignorance and vileness of people, especially groups. The things I've seen done by groups to other groups who weren't like them (especially the "popular" to the unpopular) makes me sick to my stomach to even want to know those people. And since a large majority of humans are this way, I don't want any part of them at all. Double the fact that I live in a region that doesn't value intelligence or knowledge also happens to make people more the pricks than usual.

 

[pennythemagnificent]

Could be a number of things, i grew up with an abusive step father in a loveless home. or it could just be genetics, my grandmother was agoraphobic. school was awful and everything just went downhill from there

 

[kilojoule]

Penny that's awful! :: virtual hug

 

[Pyrophosphate]

The unreasonably high standards I set for myself.

 

[SLikeSascha]

A lot of different things, mainly traumatic things that happened during my childhood. I don't feel comfortable enough to talk about them right now since I'm fairly new here but I hope to be able to do that one day.

 

[pakistan]

A lot of different things, mainly traumatic things that happened during my childhood. I don't feel comfortable enough to talk about them right now since I'm fairly new here but I hope to be able to do that one day.

same. except that im ready to talk about one of the incidents, which involved me getting molested at a very young age. *sigh*

 

[JP81]

Mine is rooted in low self esteem due to certain birth defects. Don't want to go into them here, but it made me feel hugely alienated as a teenager and has carried on into adulthood. My twenties feel completely and utterly wasted. Sometimes I'm almost scared of losing my sanity and becoming almost loveless or like a robot if you like. I think I need a complete change of perspective or reassessment of what I value to make something of the rest of my life.

 

[EnigmatiConduit]

is it not generally always something self esteem related that grew into it somehow. Mine was, not wanting to share the specifics though