What do you think?

[Tab]

Ok. People have told me that I need to put myself into social settings to get over my problems. They think if I take meds it's only 'masking' the problem. I tried explaining to them that it doesn't work like that for me. No one will listen. It makes me depressed and mad that people around me don't understand it. They think I'm week or trying to run from my problems. I can't stand it anymore. My parents know about my anxiety but it seems as time goes on they just forget about it and they keep telling me to get a job. My cousin who I told and his gf they don't understand it. She told her mom about it too and she doesn't understand either. EVERYONE thinks just by forcing myself to be around people will fix the problem!! NO IT WON'T!!!! not for me anyway. I haven't told anyone but lately I've though about suicide. I know I'd never do it but it seems like the best solution. I wouldn't do it for so many reasons. But I can't help but think about it. I just want to be like everyone else. I'm at rock bottom. I've got no one to talk to who can give me any advice except for you guys. The past couple nights I've cried myself to sleep. I've done that too many times in the past and I'm doing it again. I just want someone to understand what I'm going through. I want to know why I have this anxiety. I want to know what I did to deserve it. There's so many things I'm going to miss out on in my life because of it. I want to know why the hell its ME I want to be like everyone else around me. I just want to be normal. I'd trade anything to be normal but what do I got to trade? a crappy life with nothing in it.

 

[Riiya]

[Part II]

 

[dottie]

i understand your fear and frustration because i've lived it. but the cold hard truth is sooner or later you will have to get a job. it sucks but it's unavoidable. when i am at work i feel completely socially retarded but i do it anyway. that's what we are: retarded. but we have to LIVE and FUNCTION with it. have you seen this thread which links to these videos of the guy with no arms and no legs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yo_24_qTNac&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bL3GR4iAW0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3O6OluBxGtM&feature=related

i didn't watch those all because they got long but some of his videos are good. here's a video that is inspirational:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4xB4WtHFX0

that lady has no arms but she doesn't use it as an excuse to not work! maybe our arms haven't been amputated but our social skills are what is amputated. we still cannot let that keep us from working or doing our part.

it is going to be a struggle. the struggle is the feeling of not wanting to show up, the awkwardness, the dis-ease, dealing with judgement of people, feeling insecure and isolated. everyone in life is handed a different set of struggles. those ones are ours.

these feelings may or may NOT improve for us. don't expect them to. but you have to work with what you have and carry your own weight in this world.

in the words on nike heh "JUST DO IT."

 

[Argamemnon]

i'm so depressed that i don't know what type of work i could do. i make so many mistakes all the time, i can't remember anything and so on. i feel mentally retarded, it terrifies me and destroys all my hopes and intentions.

 

[dottie]

i'm so depressed that i don't know what type of work i could do. i make so many mistakes all the time, i can't remember anything and so on. i feel mentally retarded, it terrifies me and destroys all my hopes and intentions.

at this point the economy is so shitty that it doesn't really matter what kind of work you can do. it is a matter of what kind of work you can get. but you have to fight the fight in spite of your own personal obstacles.

 

[Argamemnon]

at this point the economy is so shitty that it doesn't really matter what kind of work you can do. it is a matter of what kind of work you can get. but you have to fight the fight in spite of your own personal obstacles.

of course, i'm not lazy, but i don't think you understand how serious my depression is, and more importantly, how much it hinders my performance. this is what bothers me most. i don't enjoy receiving a government benefit. i have to work and i want it. i will try my best, but i know that i could easily be fired for my poor performance.

 

[dottie]

i think you missed the whole point of my first post. no one said it would be easy. you have to JUST DO IT despite your own personal handicap, yours being depression.

no perfect dream job is going to come knocking on your door suited to your personality. 99.9% you are going to have to work a shit job that you can't stand. you have to let go and be willing to be insecure, to make mistakes, to come across as mildly retarded. it sucks donkey balls but that is what you have to do. you have to accept your handicap and learn to function with it. you have to do it unless you expect some enabler to carry your dead weight for the rest of your life, and really that is not fair to them. but that is your choice to make.

if the chinese lady with no arms can do all that shit, the least you can do is put on your big girl panties, haul your ass out of bed, and show up to a job you might hate and endure the social phobia and depression.

you may not be perfect but you are capable. now you just have to be willing.

i am speaking from personal experience. social phobia is my handicap. i deal with it every time i go to work. YES IT IS HARD. but you decide who you want to be. are you going to lay in bed all day and play victim or are you going to at least TRY? that is your choice.

 

[BigShrimp]

i think you missed the whole point of my first post. no one said it would be easy. you have to JUST DO IT despite your own personal handicap, yours being depression.

no perfect dream job is going to come knocking on your door suited to your personality. 99.9% you are going to have to work a shit job that you can't stand. you have to let go and be willing to be insecure, to make mistakes, to come across as mildly retarded. it sucks donkey balls but that is what you have to do. you have to accept your handicap and learn to function with it. you have to do it unless you expect some enabler to carry your dead weight for the rest of your life, and really that is not fair to them. but that is your choice to make.

if the chinese lady with no arms can do all that shit, the least you can do is put on your big girl panties, haul your ass out of bed, and show up to a job you might hate and endure the social phobia and depression.

you may not be perfect but you are capable. now you just have to be willing.

i am speaking from personal experience. social phobia is my handicap. i deal with it every time i go to work. YES IT IS HARD. but you decide who you want to be. are you going to lay in bed all day and play victim or are you going to at least TRY? that is your choice.

You seem to have missed the point about depression. If you would step down off of your high horse, perhaps you would see it a bit more clearly.

I'm sure that you can come back with more of your "just do it" nonsense. Terrific for you and others.

Maybe Nike should take over the field of psychiatry. All problems solved just with a slogan.

 

[Argamemnon]

i have worked for years before, but i wasn't suicidal back then. i also did voluntary work in 2007 and my depression became totally unbearable.

eventually i couldn't do it anymore. now i'm going to try again in a few weeks. and after a few moths i'll be searching for a real job. that's the plan.

i have tried many things in the last four years and i failed every single time. you really don't understand what severe depression is dottie. my depression causes physical symptoms as well, it is a nightmare. but how could you know. you are not me and i'm not you.

 

[dottie]

You seem to have missed the point about depression. If you would step down off of your high horse, perhaps you would see it a bit more clearly.

I'm sure that you can come back with more of your "just do it" nonsense. Terrific for you and others.

Maybe Nike should take over the field of psychiatry. All problems solved just with a slogan.

it's not a high horse- it's called tough love. or how about: reality? i have experienced paralyzing fear and depression. i speak from experience.

what do you suggest, BIGSHRIMP? wait around until someone drags your ass out of your room to a job you never applied for? if you sit around waiting for life to happen- it won't. if you desire progress, only you can do it and you have to choose to take the steps to make it happen. hence "just do it".

you can get pissed at me for saying it. you can look around for people to feel sorry for you and tell you what you want to hear (i'm not quite sure what that is). you can feel sorry for yourself some more. or you can choose to take the steps to move forward in your life despite your handicap.

 

[stardog]

at this point the economy is so shitty that it doesn't really matter what kind of work you can do. it is a matter of what kind of work you can get. but you have to fight the fight in spite of your own personal obstacles.

of course, i'm not lazy, but i don't think you understand how serious my depression is, and more importantly, how much it hinders my performance. this is what bothers me most. i don't enjoy receiving a government benefit. i have to work and i want it. i will try my best, but i know that i could easily be fired for my poor performance.

It gets easier from my own experience, and your fears are probably slightly exaggerated. I had similar fears, I'd been isolated and in a severe depression for almost a year. I finally managed to find a job though, every day it's hard, anxiety definitely makes the job more difficult, but it's a lot better than the alternative.

You gotta realise your beliefs and fears stop you going for things in life, that's the nature of SA. You just have to go for it and do the best you can. You're not as helpless as you think.

 

[Argamemnon]

i have insomnia, i rarely sleep more than a few hours and it's not uncommon for me to not sleep at all. dottie i swear to God if you had what i have, you wouldn't (and couldn't) talk like this. i'm not angry at you, i know that you can't understand. and i'm sorry everyone, i don't want to derail this thread (this is not about me)

 

[Tab]

Theres nothing I hate more than coming on this site and seeing people fighting in the threads. Aren't we supposed to be able to share our experiences? Ya some people might say something that they have experienced but someone else will have experienced it differently but theres no need to argue about it. I'm always afraid I'm going to say something stupid on here and someone else will argue about it.

 

[Ursula]

Hi everyone. I feel the same as Argamemnon here- I've read loads of your posts Dottie and I really feel for you in your struggles and I believe you when you say it's incredibly painful going to work. The fact is that everyone's different and going to work affects us all in different ways- whenever I've had a job I've been suicidally depressed. When I don't have a job I'm anxious but generally not too unhappy. I don't know the answer to the problem but there's surely no reason to be quite so angry with people who don't go to work- we all have flaws and mine is being terrified of the workplace.

 

[BigShrimp]

You seem to have missed the point about depression. If you would step down off of your high horse, perhaps you would see it a bit more clearly.

I'm sure that you can come back with more of your "just do it" nonsense. Terrific for you and others.

Maybe Nike should take over the field of psychiatry. All problems solved just with a slogan.

it's not a high horse- it's called tough love. or how about: reality? i have experienced paralyzing fear and depression. i speak from experience.

what do you suggest, BIGSHRIMP? wait around until someone drags your ass out of your room to a job you never applied for? if you sit around waiting for life to happen- it won't. if you desire progress, only you can do it and you have to choose to take the steps to make it happen. hence "just do it".

you can get pissed at me for saying it. you can look around for people to feel sorry for you and tell you what you want to hear (i'm not quite sure what that is). you can feel sorry for yourself some more. or you can choose to take the steps to move forward in your life despite your handicap.

You make a few good points, but you also seem to want to make assumptions, so I'm not going to really reply.

I'll stand by telling somebody with depression to "just do it" is ignorant.

 

[Riiya]

[Part II]

 

[Argamemnon]

whenever I've had a job I've been suicidally depressed.

Hi Ursula.. I'm the same; I also get suicidally depressed when I have to work. When I have a job, that's the only thing on my mind 24 hours a day.. I sleep only 3-4 hours... and I'm perpetually anxious and suicidal

 

[recluse]

It's easier said than done when people say that exposure is the only way we can overcome anxiety....And i'm afraid that exposure is the only way, after all how do we know without facing our fears that we had nothing to fear all along? People who are afraid of spiders have it in their minds that in some way the spider will harm them(well except for poisonous ones!)......The only harm they will do is tickle them a bit as it walks on them!...Without exposure the person will not learn that it really is safe, and this applies to all phobias. The trouble with social phobia is that facing people is a necessity of life...Facing spiders is not.