What do you think about love?

[lilmutegirl]

My married cousin who's been with his wife for 15 years (dated 5, married for 10) is getting a divorce. He told me a couple of days ago, I was stunned. The guy's only a week older than me and we've always been pretty close, but I never saw this coming.

I look at them and wonder if that's what would have happened to me if I'd been less shy. Date. Marry. Divorce. Then I wonder if it's all even worth it. Maybe we've gotten out ahead by being socially phobic all these years.

Maybe that's just wishful thinking, or maybe love just doesn't last that long anymore.

Unfortunately, I think my SA was a big factor in my marriage/divorce, as I asserted myself once to my now ex-husband, stating that I didn't want a boyfriend (I knew I wasn't ready for a relationship). He did not accept this, and insisted that I be his girlfriend. One child and a few years later, he is gone, and I regret ever agreeing to a relationship with him. I never even liked him, but I was too afraid to say no again. He is an awful person, and the only good that came of our relationship is our son.

If I were less shy, I think I'd have been able to get him to leave me alone, and would hopefully have continued the good relationship with another guy that I had. Or even if not, I would've avoided some very bad experiences.

 

[Mythos & Logos]

I think love is nice if you manage to find it & even better if you manage to maintain it. I don't, however, have a love life to speak of myself

 

[KiaKaha]

Love bites...it also bleeds and brings me to my knees.

I dont have the time or discipline to think about love anymore. I dont even see common courtesy between most people that let alone being selfless enough to love someone. It would be nice and if it happens...then thats great, but I am not prepared to expend to much thought about it. Its too confusing and has a tendency to be quite painful if it goes wrong.

bitter? me? what are you talking about...

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

love is the only thing I'm still living for.
Hoping that one day I can share my thoughts of the world, happiness, and experience with another. I'm desperate for it. It was in my life once before, but the past is the past. With each new relationship though, I learn a lot more about myself and when they leave it just makes me stronger.
It still hurts that my first love wouldn't even accept me as a friend anymore, but there's nothing you can do about it.
You live to love, learn, and repeat the process.
I don't know what it's like to have kids, but I'm starting to get at the age where I really want them. Only thing is I still can't even take care of myself.
I still have confidence though that one day I will be able to share myself with someone else, and they will understand why I am the way I am.

 

[Lost Girl]

Love hurts my brain.

 

[krissypf]

you're right about when you say "I mean if people don't like me being me, then to hell with love, I have other things to do rather than trying to fake my personality," but maybe she doesn't REALLY know you. if that's all she sees, you being shy, then that's all she knows about you.
i believe there's a difference between being in "love" and loving someone. if you don't know the person well, but you are attracted to them (it might not just be physically) i think that's what being in "love" is.
if you really love someone, after getting to know them very well, i think that is love. when you know someone's intentions, know how there mind works, are generally understanding of them, and still love them, you'll know they're worth loving and caring for, and you won't doubt it(after you learn you can trust them, which can take as long as it needs to build up).
i'm not quite sure if that will make sense to someone else sorrry haha

 

[CosmicNeurotica]

Sounds right to me.
Love is deep. It's about feeling a connection with someone. Not just having things in common, but being able to connect, and know what the other is thinking without them having to say anything. It's about sharing your experiences together and learning from one another. My dad once told me like everyone trust no one. I like that motto for every day life. When it comes to love, trusting should be the very last thing you do, because you have to build trust. I have to admit it's hard for me though because I want to believe everyone is trustworthy. I don't like having to worry if I should trust this person or not.
Anyway, I really don't know much about love except I wish I had it.

 

[Uber Schnitzel]

"Love is so short and forgetting is so long."

 

[Ignace]

Love is great when it founds you, it's awefull if it doesn't.

 

[Toby]

............

 

[mrb]

Real love can be overwhelming if a person has never had it before in their life. Real love takes time to develop and it keeps growing despite difficult times. When a person truly loves another, they accept them for everything they are, they forgive them the worst, and never give up on them.

even if they sleep with your mother ..... just asking

 

[mrb]

lol Now that's just gross.

im sure your mother would love to see that comment 2 gun .......

 

[mrb]

I'm sure she would...She would think the thought gross as well. lol Well, if my husband ever did sleep with my mother then I would have an excuse to leave him and come marry you, Gary. :: Didn't you propose to me a while back? ....didn't you propose to several people? Oh, well...a girl can dream.

:: now annie iv gone all red , i hate going red stop it now :: oh go on carry on hmm me and 2 gun annie ..... course you would have to meet my mum just to make sure she likes you lol ... but then im sure she would.....

 

[lurknomore]

Unfortunately, I think my SA was a big factor in my marriage/divorce, as I asserted myself once to my now ex-husband, stating that I didn't want a boyfriend (I knew I wasn't ready for a relationship). He did not accept this, and insisted that I be his girlfriend. One child and a few years later, he is gone, and I regret ever agreeing to a relationship with him. I never even liked him, but I was too afraid to say no again. He is an awful person, and the only good that came of our relationship is our son.

If I were less shy, I think I'd have been able to get him to leave me alone, and would hopefully have continued the good relationship with another guy that I had. Or even if not, I would've avoided some very bad experiences.

I think my marriage/divorce was somewhat similar... but in my case I convinced myself that I liked/loved my ex because he was so insistent about having those feelings for me, and having no idea what those feelings were supposed to feel like, I thought that what I was feeling was it- even though it wasn't completely good. As with you, the only good thing that came out of it were my kids. When I met him at 18, I definitely wasn't ready for a relationship, but I guess that wanting to feel "normal" pushed me to try it anyway. To this day I think I can honestly say that I've never actually been "in love" with anyone, though I may have come close (and not with my ex-husband)- perhaps that kind of thing is too overwhelming for me, and my brain naturally causes me to run away from it if/when I ever do get close. Of course I love my kids and my immediate family, but that's different from "romantic" love.

 

[mrb]

YouTube - Mr and Mrs Smith Final Fight now this is a couple

 

[coyote]

YouTube - Keb Mo'/ The Itch

 

[mrb]

YouTube - Mr. and Mrs smith hatelove.avi this is what happens when you upset 2 gun annie ......... awwww they love each other really

 

[mrb]

Ja! That's some crazy foreplay right here. lol

prefer a candle lit dinner myself but hey what ever turns you on lolzzzzzz

 

[Teh Unforgiven]

People just don't have the patience for love anymore. However, they DO have the patience for lust. And we all know how that turns out.

 

[coyote]

YouTube - Johnny Cash-Ring of Fire 1963