What do you do when.....

[Cyanide2601]

I dont have many friends. I have my stepmum, and one more friend that lives here. The rest are in England where i used to live, although by rest i mean the other two.
So anyway i made the mistake of telling my friend here about how i was feeling, and that i had joined this website. I was hoping that she would maybe at least try and understand, but instead she laughed at me and told me to get over myself. She mantains that i am just a bit odd. I know my problems arent the worst in the world, i have never said they were, but i really thought i could trust her to listen, and maybe support me in seeking out other people such as myself. Am i stupid? Or just naive? Is this how friendship is? If so then i want no part of it.

 

[Necrucifer]

I have had that alot from girls that used to be my friend they seemed fine at first and caring tell them how you feel or ask them hey can i talk to you about some problems im having they want to listen to laugh at your face and tell you to get over it then turn into *******s...some guys are like that but i think guys arent as bitchy about it from my experience anyway but im sure there are a fairshare of guys that do that to.

If your friends like that then shes not really your friend so your better off without even being friends with her if you ask me...people are stupid only a handful of worthy ones out of the billions there are it seems. Just dont listen to them there not your friends if they dont support you.

 

[Cyanide2601]

Thanks, and i know what you mean, but isnt it better to have a ****ty friend than none at all? On second thoughts that just sounds so desperate........

 

[Kinetik]

Well, it could also be interpreted as a compliment. If she thinks your problems aren't bad enough to warrant you being on a site like this, then you must be doing a fairly good job of coming across as confident and capable in the real world.

 

[market.garden]

Am i stupid? Or just naive?

Neither!

It's difficult for people to understand issues surrounding social anxiety, depression etc if they haven't been through it themselves, so responses like that usually come from a place of ignorance, rather than spite.

Have you thought about approaching the subject again with your friend, to let her know that how you feel isn't just some passing mood?

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Yeah, I don't think your friend meant it maliciously. It is difficult for those who don't have these issues to understand exactly what we are talking about. It doesn't make them bad people. It is just the way it is.

How is this friend of yours? Is she social or does she also have problems socially?

 

[MikeyC]

isnt it better to have a ****ty friend than none at all?

I don't think so, at all. Maybe that's just me, though.

You should tell this friend that you do have real problems, even if you don't think they're the worst in the world, and you would appreciate sympathy or at least an ear. I know mine aren't the worst in the world, either, but I'm here and I'm going to therapy and I've got some people who think I'm a bit silly for seeking help because I don't "seem" like I need it. I guess you're the same.

Just do whatever you want to do regardless if your friend is helpful or not. My best friend at the moment is unhelpful most of the time regarding my issues but I never expected him to understand, anyway, and I can gather your friend is about the same.

 

[X-Rated]

Thanks, and i know what you mean, but isnt it better to have a ****ty friend than none at all? On second thoughts that just sounds so desperate........

it depends how bad that friend is.. for example i had a friend who kept talking behind my back and it was very obivious and when i confronted me he told me that i'm paranoic lmao, so i decided to break off our friendship ,and although i did what was right the depressions that stems from loneliness and isolation is sometimes unbearable and i can't study or do anything because of it....
To sum it up, it's ur choice but u should analyse ur friend and weigh up the pros and cons and then make a decision. But remember, everyone is flawed and just because they can't all be ur best friend doesn't mean that they can't be a friend though

 

[twiggle]

Well, it could also be interpreted as a compliment. If she thinks your problems aren't bad enough to warrant you being on a site like this, then you must be doing a fairly good job of coming across as confident and capable in the real world.

I think this is a really good point.

When people react like your friend did, it is usually for either of three reasons. 1) She doesn't really know what to say, 2) She doesn't understand the depth of your feeling or what S.A is or 3) As per the above, she doesn't see what reason you have to feel the way you do.

Sometimes it's a mixture of all three. Your friend obviously doesn't understand the extent of your feelings but on the other hand she might be doing you a favour without even realising it. Sometimes we overthink things so much that we let our minds lower us into a rut. Our mind tends to fabricate things and eventually we might start to believe it. Sometimes it's good to have someone on the outside, saying things like your friend did. Sometimes it pulls us back together.

 

[Cyanide2601]

Thankyou for all the replies everyone.
I tried talking to her again, but she seemed disinterested. Its like she sees my issues as some sort of plague. She said she always knew i was weird and quiet, but thought that that was all. She cleary didnt understand what i was trying to tell her, and didnt seem to want to either.
I think she enjoyed going out with me purely for the reason that she was able to be in the spotlight, because if we were approached by a stanger i would stay silent, and they would quickly lose interest in me and focus on her.
Im just going to forget about it as she has no intentions of listening to me. I guess i just have to go along with it, like everything is the same.