What do I want??!!

Acegame

Well-known member
It's like I can't make any desicions!! have doubts about almost everything and it's making me crazy. Before it just used to be with buying things in the store for example. But now I graduated and have to get a job I have no clue where to search. I'm not even sure if I want to start working or just travel for a year. And if I choose for the last option, then what country should I choose. And if I choose to work, should I search on the job or in which city I want to work or the company I want to work for.....Im completely cluelesss. I just want something I really want to go for and put everything into. Develop myself step by step. But in what?? There is just too much choice. Do more people have this problem and could it have something to do with social anxiety? Now I have to do groceries, but what to eat tonight..:confused:
 

Heekaru

Well-known member
What are your interests, What food do you like?

That is two questions you should ask yourself and that should make the choices alot less.. and then after that.. What do you need?
 

Feathers

Well-known member
He he welcome to the real world... :)

I have trouble with choices too...

There's a cool book 'Refuse to choose' for people with too many interests, not sure if that's you.. But it doesn't give full answers either..

Often, you just need to ask yourself the right questions and do some further research.

Travel/work - do you have money enough to travel? How much money do you have and how much do travel tickets cost? (Also, do you have any debt from before? What are the interest rates? Might want to work on clearing it first if interest rates % are high..)

How much does it cost to live where you'd like to live? (London, Japan, NY etc can be expensive) Or would you go the homestay/Hospitality Club variant and try to travel very low budget style? (In that case, sign up and try to find people there who could host you, it may take a while, especially for the more popular destinations.. and you need to be brave enough or go with a friend lol. Do any of your friends want to go too? Are you comfortable going alone?)

Can you find a volunteer or work position in countries you'd like to visit?
(ideally for free or with low start-up cost?)

If you decide travel is not really an option right now, you can work a bit and save some money and can afford to travel where you wish in more style.. (And without worry about money so much)

As for work/job search.. You can start with favorite jobs or companies or favorite locations, or do all of that. If there's someone looking for similar jobs, you can hook up and notify each other.. ('Hey, you'd be great for this!' may give you a confidence boost needed to apply.)

For example, start with fav location+job+company (all ideal criteria), then widen criteria for just 2 out of three.. If there's nothing in 'favorite options' then widen it further..
Really recommend the book 'What color is your parachute', have you read it yet? Most likely it's in your library..
If you can't find a job and you have money enough to travel, you might then consider travelling/volunteering..

Also ask yourself: How much does living in (ideal location) cost? How many jobs are on offer there?

What also helped me was writing 'worst case' and 'best case' scenarios and doing 'decision trees' - what are my options and what can happen if I do this?

And remember.. even if you decide for something right now as 'next', you can still do something different later.. Good luck with it all!!
 

Acegame

Well-known member
What are your interests, What food do you like?

That is two questions you should ask yourself and that should make the choices alot less.. and then after that.. What do you need?

These questions seem very simple but for me very hard to answer :p I actually have many things that interest me but nothing that stands out of the rest. The only thing I know for sure is that I want to get over my social anxiety fast, because its holding me back from allot of things. My special interests from when I was still young are sports. Especially soccer and cycling. I know practically everything about it. And I used to love doing it myself (but my social anxiety is making this very hard for me nowdays). But I dont know if this is something I really like or its just something to distract me from my social anxiety.
 

Acegame

Well-known member
Hey Feathers, thanks for your great input! There are actually some questions you ask which are very helpfull.

Often, you just need to ask yourself the right questions and do some further research

This might just be where my problem is. Because what I actually do since highschool is pushing forward any decisions about my future. When I had to choose what I wanted to study in college I just choose business economics. That was the course I was good at and felt safe. But I hardly did any research. I couldnt push myself to do any research. Somehow I just didnt want to think about it, because I was really scared for the next steps. And doing research forced me thinking about it everytime which made me miserable. The same thing is happening now. Its just so hard pushing myself to do any research because it makes me feel so bad. Every job askes for social skills and thats where i feel so insecure about (and very affraid to have to face it). So now I'm just sitting in my room doing just 1 tiny bit of research every day (all the research i have done so far, i could have done in 1 day or less). It seriously is depressing me.

Travel/work - do you have money enough to travel? How much money do you have and how much do travel tickets cost? (Also, do you have any debt from before? What are the interest rates? Might want to work on clearing it first if interest rates % are high..)

A very good point actually. I have a loan debt from being able to pay for college. Really stupid actually I didnt think of this yet. So maybe traveling is not the smartest option. Allthough with traveling I ment just go to some country that gives me the good vibes by just buying a ticket and try to survive (which i think would be a great adventure and also could help me get over my social anxiety)

As for work/job search.. You can start with favorite jobs or companies or favorite locations, or do all of that. If there's someone looking for similar jobs, you can hook up and notify each other.. ('Hey, you'd be great for this!' may give you a confidence boost needed to apply.)

The problem here is that I don't have a specific location, job or company I want to work for. Even I dont know I want to persue a carreer in the field i graduated in. My heart tells me that I dont want to have a 9 to 5 job behind a desk with just a computer on top. Which is pretty much the most common place you end up in when you study business economics like I did. When i choose this it felt very safe to me, because this way the social activities would be kept to a minimum. But now I know that is not actually what i wanted but that was my fear talking. I WANT to work with people.

And remember.. even if you decide for something right now as 'next', you can still do something different later
But if i know decide to persue a career in economics, and in a few years I realize that its not what I want it will get harder for me to find a totally different job (for example healthcare) in which i have no experience, because I get older and older. I feel like I have to make the right decision now in what branche I want to work.

In my head its all so difficult right now:D
 
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fitftw

Well-known member
so you're indecisive. Me too. Would be nice to take charge once in a while. Never will.
 

Feathers

Well-known member
But if i know decide to persue a career in economics, and in a few years I realize that its not what I want it will get harder for me to find a totally different job (for example healthcare) in which i have no experience, because I get older and older. I feel like I have to make the right decision now in what branche I want to work.

In my head its all so difficult right now:D
Hm, I can relate to a lot you write, I also chose both secondary school and University so it was 'open' to many different positions and jobs, and partly influenced by my parents..

There are some great sites on line on changing careers later on in life, in fact that is what many people do..

Tell me this, would it be easier to go study something new right now, get more debt in student loans, or to actually do some work and see if you might like any of what you're qualified for already, get some money, pay off some loans.. Ideally save some money for travel or for the new study/career you might need..?

The key is to minimize living costs so you ideally save some money and can experiment with other things later on.. (not spend it all on clothes, car, new flat.. if you think you might want to change careers later..)

Would study of healthcare be free or paid for by others? What would you do if you found you didn't like that either?
Could you work there or experience it a bit without studying anything first? (eg volunteer position, interviewing people, job shadowing, or work with your current degree in a healthcare-related field? This might make transitions smoother..)

Some careers also don't require any formal study, so you could do what you already can and start small on the side and get experience in what you might prefer?

I looked at some job search boards (in my country) at what you can do with an economics degree and you can do A LOT!! There are a lot of people with this degree here though, so you need to 'specialize' a bit, ideally.. what would be your 'niche' or area where you might wish to gain expertise in?

I think you can be a receptionist or shop assistant or manager or such too.. (and thus work with people) Take a look at what it's like in your country.. Check if there's a setting on the 'job search' boards to put in your education, and what do you get?

If you get a few weeks of vacation or decide to change careers, or the company folds, you can still do the 'travel and explore' thing.. And as an English speaker you can probably teach English in Asia.. (sometimes it's good to have a course first, and I hear Korea is difficult, especially if you don't have social skills or previous teaching experience..) There are online forums where you can find out more about this..

I will tell you that companies prefer people straight from Uni/college rather than those who 'drifted around' a bit - or they expect work experience relevant for them from those who are not the youngest.. one year may be okay, it would be good to have a good plan for that year though.. (or one year of can become a few.. and what to do then? ;))

You can also start a 'hustle on the side' or small biz when you work (or don't work), so you might eventually escape any job.. See this blog: Escape From Cubicle Nation
Or you can volunteer and get experience for the new career etc.

As an economist you can work in a publishing house or any other exciting place.. Lots of choice.. Depends what you like.. What would you be comfortable selling? Things to think about..
 

lostandproud

New member
I've been browsing this forum for a few days and can't get over how many things I can relate to.

To the OP:

First of all, you said something like "when I was young...." If you just graduated from college, you are still young. In my opinion. I'm a college sophomore.

Second, I know what you mean about decisions. I'm super neurotic in grocery stores. I go in and look around and pick things up and read the nutrition info and compare prices...and then often decide to save the money and not get anything at all!

But to your question...I would say that if you are inspired to travel, you should. Traveling always is an opportunity for change. Last year I took a year off school and I spent a few months traveling (I'm from the US and went to England). It was not all good. To be honest, I didn't have the complete social life revolution that I had hoped for. But I did learn a lot--about myself and the world, and people. And I have stories to tell, and looking back I am proud that I went off on my own and want to do it again. I personally find it easier to connect with people on the road/bus/train because I don't feel like I'm making a commitment. Some people manage to keep these connections for years---I haven't yet, but you might be able to.

Also, a person who isn't super social is less likely to feel overly isolated wandering the world--I for one already felt isolated. That said, I did decide that traveling with people is better if possible.

One caveat tho....decision-making issues can make travel less enjoyable. Try to live in the moment as much as possible. Don't worry so much about what you are going to do/eat/see/cram in. I spent some days just figuring out what I would do that day...or searching for the perfect chip shop for lunch...and then the day was almost over and it was dinner time! Don't feel the need to plan everything. (Unless you can plan in a timely manner)

This might not sound like a ringing endorsement for traveling, but I think ANYONE who wants to travel should go for it, take the risk. Even if it isn't perfect, you will learn stuff.

Cheap ways to travel (also provide structure for meeting people, which I find helpful):
-wwoof (World-wide opportunities on organic farms)
-helpx.net
-couchsurfing.org

Sorry if this sounds preachy, it's not meant to be....just, if your heart says travel, do it....jobs can wait. (Plus in most places the economy is crap right now.)
 
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