What do i do???

[worriedmum]

I have a 9 year old son who is being bullied in and out of school, the bullies in school are now being sorted as there has been a govener witness all the bullying.... the bullies are older and bigger than my son...In the past few weeks hes had a rope around his neck which left a bad burn mark, kicked punched etc etc etc!! and its getting worse, he cant even step outside anymore...hes so unhappy hes crying with the hurt and pain, my son is a quite and shy boy, but wants 2 play out with the kids that live in the street..

Iv tried talking to the kids, iv tried talking to the parents, and asked them to please stop hurting my son...they laugh, they scream and tell me if he doesnt like it then i have to keep him inside!!

I cant get the police involved as this would without a doubt make matters so much worse..as im on my own with my little man, and have no1 else to help me....they kids are totally unruley and are bullies!!!

Its really really affecting my son a shes wishing he was dead, and at 9 years old its just so heartbreaking to hear, i cant stop crying!! ...

what do i do??? i try my best to cheer up my son....but all he wants is the kids to leave him alone, just so he can play with his friends...He should have the chances in life other kids have, he should be able to play...not be locked away..... what do i do to help my son???

 

[Waybuloo]

I'm really sorry to hear, and things like that make me angry, cause it really shouldn't be happening to a kid any age, let alone 9.

I understand your need to deal with this with a certain level of discretion so not to inflame the bullies, but really what happened to him constitues serious assault! Get the police involved, they can't think that they can get away with things like putting a rope around his neck, because they will try to do even worse things. Tell the police, or at the least tell everything to the school authorities adn kick up a fuss, and then move out of that area. It may be impractical, but from the sounds of it, it would only get worse if they are terrorising him outside of school. At the moment it is making him unhappy, but has the potential to psychologically scar him for life if it continues on.

 

[worriedmum]

I thought of going to the police and just logging it, but i honestly know that if they went to the parents my house and car would be targeted just as my son is...i just dont know what to do for the best..

Suppose my only option is to find somewhere else to live...For my sons sake!!

God this is breaking my heart so much....Thx very much for the advice...

 

[SoulSeeker]

This really breaks my heart to hear this. ::

Maybe finding somewhere else is the best option. I mean..these things are really complicated..and they can just go on and on. I dont really know what to say tbh. Maybe your son has an uncle or another male member of the family who can step in and have a word with these kids..or parents.

Then again though..it could just become even more complicated..with adults getting involved. I know this probably wont help..but your son will grow up to be a tough cookie..im sure he will. But as of this time..maybe try and keep him away from them..and let his friends come and see him (outside of school that is). Make sure inside of school that the teachers know to keep an eye out and protect him.

If it really becomes too much and frightening. Then without a doubt you should get the police involved. The behaviour with the rope etc..is absolutely disgusting..and its very worrying.

Hmm i dont really know what to say..because im not a parent myself..and i've never experienced anything like this. For now though..let the kids come and see him (until you think of the best action to take). Also..you could maybe take him and his friends out to places in the car for a few hours every now and then.

Im not sure any of this helps..but my heart hurts for you and your son. Good luck.

 

[Ignace]

Those bullies should get shot in the ass, you can't do that offcourse but it should be allowed. I don't know what I would do as a parent, but I'm sure it hurts you when your son is suffering from those bullies. I think I would go to the police, if they can't do anything about it, I would go nuts and go to that school in that class and hit them with a shoe as hard as I can in the face. Not really a good idea, but it lets you feel satisfied for defending your son and maybe they learned bullying sucks.. I know, this is not really helping but what can you do in a situation like this ? If you do something to them you get troubles yourself but the bullying won't stop .. probably. The only way I know that could help him is to say to your son that you're behind him and will always support him. You could also tell him to do the same thing as they do, but it could mess with your sons head...

 

[worriedmum]

Thankyou so much for your advice...I have an older son serving in afgan at the min with the army. My 2 boys are all i have...

Iv brought both my boys up on my own, and have taught them the best way i could with whats right and wrong, but im fighting a loosing battle with how other parents and children act and behave to each other...I have never ever felt so much alone...

I will have 2 start looking into getting a new place to live, as i know my sons life here is not the kind of life he should have...

Im his mum, i need to protect him and give him the best start in life, as i did with my eldest son...

Just feel we have 2 be prisoners in our home until it happens...God what is this world coming too!!!

 

[Remus]

Not sure where you live (UK?) but social services can help alot and even help to relocate, I'd have gone to the police if it was that severe.

Here's a good site to ask more detailed advice:

Beatbullying - Shaping attitudes, changing behaviours

 

[worriedmum]

Im from manchester, And it would really be a massive mistake if i went to the police, One of the families that live near me constantly get raided for drugs, guns etc....

The kids are a mini version of the adults...

It not the done thing to do near me...My only option is to keep him indoors and try get a new house asap...

I dont care what i lose now....my son comes 1st!!

 

[Remus]

Im from manchester, And it would really be a massive mistake if i went to the police, One of the families that live near me constantly get raided for drugs, guns etc....

The kids are a mini version of the adults...

It not the done thing to do near me...My only option is to keep him indoors and try get a new house asap...

I dont care what i lose now....my son comes 1st!!

Blimey, Yeah I'm a manc too, trying to think, The council if you go and make an awful fuss and get maybe social services to help you, they dont have to involve the polioce this way. mayb put you in a hostel temporary, or maybe if you are with a housing asscociating you can complain about anti social behaviour and get relocated.

Theres citizens advice too which can help with knowing the best way to cut through red tape of beaurocracy

 

[worriedmum]

Iv tried with the parents, they screamed at me, said i should keep him in at home if he doesnt like it...

bullying at school is a daily thing, its now at home where we live thats whats making my son so unhappy, he lived for weekends and school holidays just 2 play out with the few friends he has at home, now he cant even do that because the high school kids target him...

He really really isnt safe...

But on a positive note, Im going to take him to the park tomorrow so he can play with the new ball i bought him a few days ago, as hes been unable to play with it yet...

Hes looking forward to that,....

 

[Ignace]

Iv tried with the parents, they screamed at me, said i should keep him in at home if he doesnt like it...

bullying at school is a daily thing, its now at home where we live thats whats making my son so unhappy, he lived for weekends and school holidays just 2 play out with the few friends he has at home, now he cant even do that because the high school kids target him...

He really really isnt safe...

But on a positive note, Im going to take him to the park tomorrow so he can play with the new ball i bought him a few days ago, as hes been unable to play with it yet...

Hes looking forward to that,....

It's pretty serious, there's nothing left to do then getting help from police. Parents are as bad as the kids so a solution in there is a no-go. I doubt it the school will do something about it, they almost never do something.

 

[worriedmum]

Yeah defo living in fear... Thats why iv come to the conclusion im gonna loose everything iv worked for...

But i know hand on heart i wont win against these kids as the parents dont care what there kids do.

My son isnt a fighter, hes a pleasent little boy, who just wants the chance to be a boy.

Im going to try the links iv been given and see if i can get any help from them..Thx everyone for there advice, for some reason even tho its online i dont feel so alone, and have managed to stop crying thx everyone ...

 

[Waybuloo]

You say that you live near parents involved in drug raids and what not, I thought it might be a bad neighbourbodd, but that sounds quite hardcore. On second thoughts, don't get the Police involved, like Remus said, talk to social services - your local citizen's advice bureau is a good place to get help and find information from. Looks like it is best to relocate, and try to insist on a nicer area to minimise the risk of running into people like that again.

I really hope you and your son get through this !

 

[Remus]

What local council are you with?

I'm with Trafford and was insistant that I didn't get placed in council/HA housing anywhere near crime/drugs etc, if you stick to your guns on that the council will fold, I got that advice from the citizens advice.

 

[worriedmum]

Thx very much chihiro, and everyone else....

Yeah its a few families, they havent bothered me before my little man hasnt really wanted to play out, but hes getting older now...wants to have a bit of independance..

In normal curcumstances the police could be an option, but not here, id be classes as a grass etc, even tho its my son who is battered..

and after yetserdays beating up, then me trying to talk to the parents, it just shown me that my sons life here will never be safe...

and i think about my son over in afgan fighting for his country!! and im here at home with my son in fear!!

thankyou so much everyone for letting me get this off my chest...

 

[Remus]

What local council are you with?

I'm with Trafford and was insistant that I didn't get placed in council/HA housing anywhere near crime/drugs etc, if you stick to your guns on that the council will fold, I got that advice from the citizens advice.

Forgot to add to this, you can always see your local MP, they can pull alot of strings with things like this.

 

[worriedmum]

thankyou so much Serafina, and Remus...!!

I have looked into going to see the local mp on thursday... its more to help me getting onto a housing list/council list, Have to move..

Iv dealt with this for months all alone, To be able just to get things off my chest is such a huge relief...

On one hand i wish that my son would just be left alone, fit in with the others....But on the other hand, Do i really want to raise my son to be a thug etc!!

No its best to take him away...

 

[stephen]

Im from manchester, And it would really be a massive mistake if i went to the police, One of the families that live near me constantly get raided for drugs, guns etc....

The kids are a mini version of the adults...

We have families like that around here. The kids grow up with zero respect for anyone and zero respect for the law. One of the parents was bragging to me soon after we moved here that he is practically untouchable. Their kids spend more time roaming the streets than going to school. The cops are there all the time and they just don't give a crap.

Sorry your child is being bullied. It sounds like the best idea is to move away as has been suggested.

 

[chained]

wow.. this made me cry.. 9 years old :/
I'd say go with what remus and the others advised u, there is no point in staying where u are now
hope everything turns out good
and hope he has fun playing ball

 

[worriedmum]

Well its been a few weeks now...Have been in touch with the local council, and it seems im not the only one suffering, been offered emergency accom, but impossible for me to take as they have already tried to break into my house, i now live with my windows and doors shut, curtains drawn day and night, the council have asked me 2 do a diary of events, but not sure what i will do with them yet....I need to make sure i can move first, My son still doesnt play out, the threaten me now, the youngest is nine the eldest is 15... the 15 year old got my sons face and rubbed his head into dirt on the floor....I just wish this nightmare would end!!

Just had one knock on my door, (9 year old) asking for a fight, cos he wants to stamp on my sons head and kill him...What a horrile horrible world this is turning into....