Spiders & centipedes sorta creep/freak me out... Not a big fan of any kind of bug in large numbers either... But, I generally will kill a bug if it's nested in a bad spot. I'm sure it looks hilarious, depending on the method chosen. 🙂
Heights, but it has gotten much better since I work in the construction industry. Normally I stay on the yard load trucks but every now and then I have to go with the trucks to huge jobsites where apartment complexes or commercial buildings are being built.
I don't think I have any specific phobias. There are things and situations that scare me or worry me, but never that much that I'd call it a phobia.
Sometimes, the fear of death grips me. Realizing that with any second I'm rushing closer to it. That there are solutions for almost all problems, but there is none that prevents you from vanishing. That there will be a last second in my life, a last hug, the last thing I taste, the last thing I see. And then: nothing. And, being a scientist and atheist, I know that there is no heaven, no hell, no reincarnation. There is just nothing. Forever. And that now death might seems like something that won't happen any time soon. But so did moving into my own flat, having a job, and so on. But there I am now. Time passed. And my life will pass. And death, that seems to be so far away, will then be "now". And everything in my life will be irrelevant in the moment of my death. Everything I accompllished, everything I feared, nothing will matter anymore.
That being said: I think it's a pity that so many people get raised in a way that makes them fear spiders. There is no reason to fear them, yet so many people do. Just some days ago, I wanted to take a shower, and then saw a pretty large spider trying to get away from the water. So I stopped the water, got a cup and a peace of paper, put the cup over the spider, slide the paper carefully beneath it so I wouldn't hurt the spider, opened the window and put the spider on the window sill. And I do that with all spiders I find. Or I just leave them where I find them, or put them onto some plants in my room.
Guess you've never been bitten by anything. Lucky you. Last time I got bit in my old basement apartment, I broke out in hives for two weeks.
I can't transport the spider. My hands get all twitchy around them. I'm actually afraid of the damned things. Outside, I like to look at them, find them fascinating on their own turf.
Almost all the time, my mouth & face is whispering "shame, shame, shame".
I think I'm too harsh on myself.. Being born gay, and let other people (including people that is supposed to love me (eg parents, relatives)) tell me that gay people are disgusting. And by extension it means, I'm disgusting, that hurts...
Anyway, so shame is my fear. I'm ashamed of my life, ashamed of who I am, even though, I don't think I'm half bad...
But, there's this voice in my head that's criticizing me all the time, giving me hard times all the time, even sabotaging me without me knowing it..
Pfuih.. I know that it happens, but I can't help to stop it.... 😠
heights
ugly bugs and insects, as well as poisonous ones
crowds/lots of people/groups of people laughing and hanging around
pitch black total darkness
malicious spirits, monsters, and evil aliens (if they exist)
death
unknown
sharp weapons
large kitchen knives
neighbors
rodents
I don't think I can list all my fears.
Yes heights, staring at mirrors at night not because i see myself but i always think a demon or something is going to appear xD.
Also very dark almost black like water that is very deep, a forest with dead/''bald'' trees because they remind me of the blair witch project, also crowds of people i can't look people in the eye so let alone staring and getting stared at by lots of people... and also my biggest fear/phoba getting lost. Yes even getting lost in a city scares me to death.
I guess we talk about phobias here, and not just fear, right? Well, I don't really have a lot of them. Sure, the thought of having to die sooner or later scares me, since it marks the end of my existence, but I guess that's normal, and comes up only every two or three months anyway and doesn't last for a long time.
My social anxiety got much better over the years. I still don't enjoy parties, but I can attend them for a while without a problem, though I won't be very talkative or relaxed.
#61
