Went out for the 1st time in ages

[RandyMarsh]

My social life has been nonexistent since around the summer of 2010 because going out to bars or clubs with my friends was just way too stressful and I wasn’t enjoying it at all. I still see a few of my friends the odd time to hang out and yesterday I decided I’d go to the bar to play pool with them for the first time in ages. It went much better than I thought it would although I didn’t really relax at all though but better than sitting at home by myself. Apart from one bit when I talked to this girl I used to go to school with and it went terribly, we were talking for a couple of minutes before there was an awkward silence and she was just like well ill c u then and I just said bye. It was awful. It was so bad I’m bright red just thinking about it. I don’t understand why I can talk to guys normally then when I speak to a girl I just turn into a nervous wreck ,all the doubt and self loathing kicks in and my mind tells me things like I’m sh*t and I don’t deserve to be alive. I am supposed to go out again tonight. When I was in school whenever I was going out I remember I had this class excited feeling, now the thought of going out I am filled with dread and fear. I am only 20 years old and for some reason it feels like my life is over almost, like I will never have fun again. I’m pretty confused right now because it’s got to the stage where I don’t enjoy myself at home alone or when I’m out.

 

[DeadmanWalking]

Your brain probably goes haywire for two different reasons. One, you don't have a lot of experience interacting with women, so you really don't have a plan as to how to deal with them and two, you're putting them on a pedestal and making them out to be this heavenly existence and making yourself out to be a lowly worm. That shouldn't be the case however. You really shouldn't need a plan to talk to girls, just talk to them like you would me or any other guy because there really isn't much difference between girls and guys and, secondly, girls are just people, nothing more or less. They're no better or worse than you, so just see them as another person, okay? It's nice that you got out though, keep going out. You may not enjoy yourself out there or at home, but, at least, out there, you've still got some land to explore, which is constantly changing, before you can make a decision. Good luck and don't give up!

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

It's okay if the conversation didn't last long it's not like she had more things to say either.... Glad you had fun

 

[RandyMarsh]

Thanks for the replies.
I went out again last night but it was kind of even worse than the night before, my voice was shaking a lot and I kept on getting nervous when I was supposed to speak and like getting my words mixed up and stuff. I don't know if I should drink more but then I might just embarrass myself even more.