Unbearable loneliness

[EscapeArtist]

I can't stand it anymore... I hate being so shy, and I hate being so negative. In my mind I think really positively, but for some reason everything I say is negative... I think because I tell myself people relate more with negative things, and when i'm nervous I spew out negative things about the world because of this! But I'm not that person! I'm sick of being alone, it's reverting me into a sensitive child, always craving the comfort of somebody...
I just don't know what to do anymore...

My best friend of 4 years recently ditched me because I didn't entertain her enough, she has transformed into somebody everybody knows, the 'life of the party' immediately after ditching me. I thought we were completely tight and on the same page and then she ditches on my birthday, it was only us two that were going to hang out that day, and tells me she wants to "give up on our friendship". I didn't even know our friendship took work in the first place! I believe i've lost all trust in anybody who claims to 'love me'.

Anyway she came to the door to pick up her **** that I have and seeing her stare at me like she was a completely different person with only a 'hey' and 'thanks' to say sent me into a lonely panic, because she was the only friend i've ever felt some-what comfortable with (not completely though... still not myself). She was also my only friend. UG

x_x I. so badly want to find another person who will put up with me until I come around, and start acting like my true self (which has never happened before)... I can do this, rarely, with my family but they are gone night and day, and man, I feel so ****ing alone... :: End of rant.

 

[hangbi92]

I feel lonely too. Everyday of mine is the same, depressing and lonely. Up till now I have only lived 1/4 of my life, I dont know how I can live my another 3/4 in this loneliness. And I just saw my friend's picture one Facebook: he was kissing his girlfriend so happily. I felt so miserable and jealous

 

[Hellhound]

That "friend" doesn't seem like she was your true friend... :: A true friend would not do that to you, they support you instead and they are there for you.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

friends! hard to make and easy to lose in unpleasant ways like what you describe. if i dont have anyone close, im lonely, but if i do, im constantly dreading the loss. its a lose-lose situation. is that the right expression? im sorry your friend treated you that way.
on the bright side, maybe there are folks out there who are true, you never know

 

[planemo]

Every time I go out, which is pretty rare anyway, but I tend to focus on other people and compare myself to them. I see other blokes with gf's and it upsets me. I wish I too had some1 of my own. I see other people so comfortable in an environment I dread, and it hurts me too. A long time ago in primary school I had a friend who ended his association with me, because I was too lame and boring. He wanted to be with the 'in crowd' something I never was associated with. I guess this leads to feeling alone...

But there is always hope I guess, so don't feel down for too long. Maybe some1 better will turn up.

 

[Ignace]

That person was everything but a friend. If a friend's life gets better with time, they share that with friends, especially not ditching them. I'm sure of it that you wouldn't ditch her if you would have a 'life of the party'. Try to forget her. I also hate being lonely, and when I see a friend with a gf being happy, I'm jealous and down for the rest of the day. Even angry at myself cause I always think why I am doing this to myself.::

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Escape, friendships do take work. It's part of the reason I find being sociable so draining.

But if she ditches you on your birthday, and drops you as a friend without even bringing up that there's a problem, she's just a c***!

 

[Dronee]

Cliche but oh so true... A friend in deed is a friend indeed.

 

[Fighter86]

I desperately need someone to talk to now, but there's absolutely no one I can call, not a single friend.