"Ugly" comments scarred me for life

[anxiousnut]

When I was younger, I don't remember having social anxiety or low self-esteem at all. But from the time I was in about third grade, I had several VERY cruel comments made to me about the way I looked and I honestly think it has a lot to do with how messed up I am.

One example: When I was in third grade, just a shy little girl of about 8, I was sitting on a bench with my friend, minding our own business and eating pizza, when this older guy (he must have at least been 14 or 15) walked by with a group of his friends and said to me "Why are you so ugly?"

Several more comments like that occurred all thoughout my adolescence. It hurt me so bad, I can't even look at guys now.

Anyone else had cruel things like that said to them that destroyed your self-esteem??

Feel free to share

 

[Harleyq]

I think my SA is the result of tons of little cruel things said to me over time. My mom is extremely critical so I grew up not being able to do anything right and as a result, I'm afraid everyone else thinks the way my mother did and nothing I ever do will be ok. And then later I learned that she never wanted me in the first place. And kids are cruel so once I started being around other kids, some of whom bullied me, it just reinforced what I picked up from home.

It's a shame that people don't realize what a heavy toll just a few words here and there can carry.

 

[redski]

My father is very critical and I am sure my SA and low self worth is partly because of him.
Try not to take things like that to heart. Usually those people are the ones with problems of their own.

 

[FOR REAL]

its memories like that, that seem to get drilled into you brain, and you cant get rid of them, like you cant win!

BUT

i bet if you think deeply about all the nice things and compliments you have received in your life, they will out weigh the bad things.

theres a great guy called "simon weston" who fought in the falkland war, and he was horrifically burned during that time

anyway he was at an opera or something and a woman said to him "you shouldnt have come out tonight, youve ruined my evening"
i couldnt belive someone would say that, it made me so fkn angry!

it was a daytime tv interview thing.

then simon weston said "its not me that has the problem, its her"
he went on to say other things like if your friends make you feel nervous "change you friends"

he should be called "SIR SIMON WESTON" if you ask me

 

[Outshined]

Sorry to hear about that. When I was a freshman in highschool, I remember a car of older kids driving by and yelling "It's ok, god loves ugly people too!". Looking back, all I can think of is how I shouldn't have let some random jerkoff get to me. But it did, and it wrecked my self esteem. I can hardly look at girls without feeling like I'm just being measured up and soon to be forgotten.

 

[Darker Than Black]

The 2nd last girl I liked said "you are crazy, you need help"

"you are not good enough for me"

and

"you can't always depend on others, every one have problems, just go deal with it"

 

[Harleyq]

The 2nd last girl I liked said "you are crazy, you need help"

"you are not good enough for me"

and

"you can't always depend on others, every one have problems, just go deal with it"

No offense but that chick sounds like a major bitch if she said all that to you. I know your taste is way better than that.

 

[typewriterx]

Children can be so cruel. I know a lot of people like to say how kids are so great because they're innocent and all that, but really, they have their ugly side. I've heard some of the most hurtful things come from children. At least some of them mature and change.

 

[FOR REAL]

Children can be so cruel. I know a lot of people like to say how kids are so great because they're innocent and all that, but really, they have their ugly side. I've heard some of the most hurtful things come from children. At least some of them mature and change.

i agree, but so called "adults" who should know better are far worse i reckon

 

[Richey]

yeh there was this one class where my supposed friends used to slap/hit me over the forehead repeatidly and i would fight back but i then gave up and let them continue, they wouldn't stop and then i hyperventilated in the middle of the classroom and started coughing so i ran out of the classroom and walked home. bullying was quite frequent at the high school i went to. most of my anxiety started then. getting pushed into lockers all the time. and verbal sprays in the classroom. then beaten up against a brick wall everyday for a year in year 10 really helped my confidence. i was normal looking, it was just that i was shy and an easy target.

 

[richi1173]

I hope you can overcome your SA, anxiousnut

As for me:

In 7th grade, a guy, who would later become a bully that year, walked up to me and said "you finally changed your shirt, but you still look like an idiot"

Also in 7th grade, a bully punched me in the stomach since I tried to defend myself against his friends that day. I started crying and his friends, who told him to do it, said "Ahh look at the pussy cry. That would teach you not to be a ****ing faggot. HAHHA"

A girl walked up to me when we were going to the auditorium and said "What are you gay?" I didn't answer and the whole class started laughing.

The people who I thought were my friends when they were taking roll: "Where's the stupid kid?"

And the random name calling in the bus, especially from a group of girls who sat at the back "Hes ****ing ugly"..."Hes soo weird"... "Hes a little faggot" ect.

 

[Kieran]

I was made fun of quite a bit as a child. My parents were quite critical of me, and still are to this day. I've decided to just start ignoring them actually... every time I thought I was making progress, and feeling better about myself, they'd say something to put me back down. I came to that conclusion not even two weeks ago. And with women.... well, I've never had women comment on how I look. Which bothers me a lot. Makes me think I'm just so plain that no one even notices me. The closest thing to a comment on how I look was "Well, you're not ugly". I was told that after I got put down HARD by this girl I liked...

 

[FountainandFairfax]

I got inundated with the "ugly" remarks growing-up. It definitely had an effect on my self-esteem.

 

[klytus]

I can recall vividly the days when I was a child, and only very rarely had there been negative moments.

It began in middle- and high-school, where my schoolmates - aged 14 to 17 - used to bully me every day. Particularly about my looks and voice. Apparently, whatever they did to me, I can't rid myself off the conviction that I am ugly or have a disgusting body. It feels good to be told otherwise by people online or by family members, but that has no lasting effect on my thoughts. I am usually telling myself that they are just being nice.

 

[neko]

I was called names, critiqued about some of my physical appearence (mainly my nose - I hate it, probably because of that), being accused of doing things I didn't do and ignored/outcast.

Some kids are really cruel and those words stays in our minds forever and the worse part is that those people don't even remember being so cruel. I wish there was something done for this... It really messes up lives of some people.

 

[releaseme]

my name rhymes with not so good things.
i went through my school years with people calling me names
their making fun of me...all because of my given name
and within myself, i became...ugly

yes, those scars still run deep today.
as a part of me
the part i call...ugly

 

[recluse]

Hmm where do i start?

I was bullied so much about my weight (even by my dad which was worse) that i suffered from anorexia at 14 for almost a year.

I've also been called ugly on numerous occasions. In college from when i was 17-19 i started to get acne and greasy skin, a girl told me to put my glasses back on because ''You're ugly'', then a so called female friend said ''you've got a disgusting face, and you should never have children cos they'd be ugly'', in life drawing class the female model was late turning up and a guy said as a joke ''Gaz should do it instead!'', and a girl said ''Urrrrgghh, no thanks he's ugly!''

I've had a few comments that i'm good looking but i don't believe them and i think they are just being nice. I refuse to believe that good comments can outweigh bad ones because bad ones scar one's brain so much it's impossible to forget them.

 

[klytus]

a girl told me to put my glasses back on because ''You're ugly'', then a so called female friend said ''you've got a disgusting face, and you should never have children cos they'd be ugly'', in life drawing class the female model was late turning up and a guy said as a joke ''Gaz should do it instead!'', and a girl said ''Urrrrgghh, no thanks he's ugly!''

I've had a few comments that i'm good looking but i don't believe them and i think they are just being nice. I refuse to believe that good comments can outweigh bad ones because bad ones scar one's brain so much it's impossible to forget them.

Sounds all very familiar.

 

[Harleyq]

I was called names, critiqued about some of my physical appearence (mainly my nose - I hate it, probably because of that), being accused of doing things I didn't do and ignored/outcast.

Some kids are really cruel and those words stays in our minds forever and the worse part is that those people don't even remember being so cruel. I wish there was something done for this... It really messes up lives of some people.

YES! That makes me so angry. It's like if I ever went to a high school reunion and met someone I knew from middle or grade school (my graduating peers were pretty much the same people I grew up with in grade school) and said "Remember me? You used to torment me when we were little/middle schoolers" they'd just be all "What are you talking about? That doesn't sound like me" or they'd go "That was ___ yrs ago, get over it" It's not like I'd ever expect them to be genuinely sorry for things they said to me so many years ago but I at least wish they'd acknowledge it and go "Yeah, that was a little messed up" - just admit that it happened and that it was ****ed up, that's all I'd look for. Just some sign that they've grown up and realized that what they said was wrong.

I really think some people just have a complete lack of tact. I remember after my friend committed suicide - the morning I found out, I was crying an old "friend" asked me what was wrong and when I told her, she literally laughed at me and said "oh" and then walked away to join her popular friends.

 

[divethruhaze]

Edited post
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Dilbert comic strip for 11/30/2006 from the official Dilbert comic strips archive.