Tuna Fish Sandwich

[IamThisOne]

About five years ago my father and my step-mother were "having a talk" with me. This meant they would holler at me and get on to me about things even though I never did anything wrong.

They were basically just hollering at me because I didn't socialize like my brother and my step-siblings. They said that customers at the store where I work said that I was rude and that they felt like beating me up and stuff. I never did anything to them. My step-mother gave me the "you got a month to find another job". The thing that really made me hate her so much is how she would ridicule me. I would put my input in on the conversation and she would mock me and continue to holler at me.

I never did anything bad. I made straight A's in school and I just stayed in my room, but I guess I just take up space. I mean why else would they holler at me in front of everyone else for no reason. Then they would ask me "what's wrong" when I would get mad and cry.

That night when they were done hollering at me, I was in my room crying and my brother came in and gave me a tuna fish sandwich that he made for me. My brother never did stuff like that, I guess he just heard my "loving" parents "talking" to me. That was one of the most "touching" gesture I have ever received. He actually went and spent the time mixing the tuna just to give to me.

I think about crap like this everyday and it tears me apart.

Why do I make myself relive those experiences?

I'm just ready to f***ing die.
::::::

 

[agoraphobickatie]

:: vissa maksa me sadd

i'm sorry.. that was very sweet of your brother. and i'm glad that he was there to do that for you, even if it was just mixing the tuna and making a sandwich to bring to you, cause it meant a lot... the thing about parents is that they don't always understand. they want so badly for us to be some big success and if we struggle, it reflects on their own sh!tty job as parents.. maybe your parents can't handle thinking they screwed up somewhere (even though in our eyes, you obviously aren't all 'screwed up' anyway) ..know what i mean?? i hate reading when other people have such issues with their parents being hateful and misunderstanding and harsh =/ i wish i could give everyone my parents.. i'm very lucky to have parents who even if they don't understand my issues, the can show sympathy and do whatever they can to help. one thing your jerk parents are doing for you is making you stronger. you have to build up some kind of strength for dealing with their crap... anyway, them being angry and taking out frustration on your is their own problem. it's them who are handling things wrong and who are being ignorant and illogical. focus on yourself and working through your own problems and making a life of your own. when you have a life that you can live and do your own things and not have to rely on your parents, then their stupid fight fests won't matter to as much... i don't really know what else to say, i'm sorry and if you ever want to talk, maybe i can come up with some better advice or make you schmile

 

[Feathers]

Oh gosh hun ((hugs))

My parents always yelled and hollered too.. And sis and I mostly bickered and fought too (like they did, imagine where we got the role models??)

Please try to accept that their yelling and hollering may have had nothing to do with you.
My Dad later on explained he just had a stressful situation at work and that's why he lashed out at us kids. I think he was also a spoilt kid (that's what Grandma said too, first son in a family of older daughters).
I now think he also had ADD - he fell as a kid and 'his memory has never been the same'..

Why am I saying these things? Not to 'apologize them' - there's really no apology for parents behaving badly. They really had bad role models themselves, or were just thoughtless. And didn't read books on successful communication or such. I'm still cross at my Dad, though I've mostly forgiven him. But he still continues to act stupid sometimes.
So I realized we just need to learn to live our own lives.. Without the parents near.. (more easily said than done)

Are you still living with them or are you on your own? I'm pretty sure you can create a good life on your own... There are lots of books on emotional intelligence and communication and how to improve it, you can totally learn these things...

I suspect you may be highly sensitive too (like me, about 20% of population are, usually the smartest and most gifted ones, Elaine Aron wrote about it) and any hollering affects us even more badly... Please learn about all this and know that after bad days good days come too... ((hugs))