Told to 'get a life'

[steviegerrard489]

Last night I went to the pub with some work colleagues. After a few hours people broke of into groups and I was left with this girl I've known for a few years. She started asking loads of questions like why I don't have a girlfriend, why I don't do loads of stuff at the weekend, why don't I have any friends, why am I so quiet...

Lets just say it was not fun! This girl is hardly the most outgoing person herself so it was a bit of a kick in the teeth. I guess she was trying to help me out but being really blunt about it. She was saying that everyone thought I was nice but boring.

But her whole philosphy of telling me to 'snap out of it' is just not that simple is it.

 

[toothpastekisses]

..................

 

[steviegerrard489]

"Nice but boring" is something I've heard too many times! The girl is obviously quite insecure and doesn't have an interesting life herself if she made such a big deal about the way you are; just rise above it next time, play along with the embarrassing comments. Who cares about what "everyone" thinks of you, who the hell is "everyone" anyway?! There's nothing wong with being quiet, but these days it's seen as some kind of taboo to some people if you're not "bubbly" and "outgoing" (i.e quite intimidating and arrogant). Quiet does NOT imply boring...us quiet 'uns often have an ace knack of listening and providing relevant input into conversations, as oppose to just rambling on constantly about complete irrelevant shite for the sake of it, so don't let silly comments get you down!

You're right. She has her own issues to deal with. Also, I deliberately try to ignore her as much as possible because she is always asking me 'what did you do at the weekend?', even though I usually say 'not much' or make something up. Sometimes I wish she would just f*** off and leave me alone because I know she does it on purpose.

Now I'm wondering what I'm going to say at work on Monday. My desk is right next to the coridoor and she's bound to stop to talk to me at least once during the day.

She's actually quite depressing to talk to herself!

 

[steviegerrard489]

What do your work colleagues do at the weekend? I'm interested in knowing what they constitute as a busy weekend.

Maybe you should do your own thing. Go to the pub with them every so often if you want (I guess you dont want to be seen as rude).. but you don't really get along with these people so what's the point. Why don't you join some course, or take up some sport or something that you can do evenings and weekends. Must be something you can get your teeth into.

This is getting away from the point but just because you're quiet I personally wouldn't see you any different, but apparently people have difficulty with this. I say this because I have some friends, well I hardly see them apart from tennis, and they're shy/quiet, but really immature. They really need to grow up. But you, from what you write on here you sound mature, and self aware. Just shy. What i'm saying is I hate it when groups of people are all cast under one name instead of as individuals. Uhh.. that probably didn't make much sense lol.

I do like some of the people who are nice and do join in with some of the conversations. It's just those awkward situations where I'm silent for a long time while others are talking about a particular topic which I might know nothing about. Also, I'm not deaf but I always have trouble hearing people in bars and clubs.

A funny thing was said last night. One of the women said 'women only go for a***holes, not nice guys'. She was sitting right in front of her best friend and her boyfriend. He's actually a nice guy and not an a***hole in the slightest! A stupid comment to make really.

 

[Marie_knowsbest]

the girls obviously a twat, i cant see why someone would ask all them questions and then say that?

i got told to get a life last night. it happens lol

 

[spaz]

Sounds like she is a b***h. Don't hang around her anymore.

 

[recluse]

I think she might be insecure herself so she's trying to pass it on to someone else. It's the same for me; I dread Monday morning at work because i have no exciting stories to tell.

 

[steviegerrard489]

I think she might be insecure herself so she's trying to pass it on to someone else. It's the same for me; I dread Monday morning at work because i have no exciting stories to tell.

Do what I do - turn up to work as late as is permitted on a Monday. Everyone will be well into their work and already done the whole 'what did you do at the weekend' thing.

 

[lostinspace]

she is always asking me 'what did you do at the weekend?'

This is one of the main reasons I can't stand working in conventional office environments. I always hated facing that question on Monday mornings.

 

[Len]

Ah! The Weekend Story...

Oh yes, the 'What did you do at the weekend' question. Normally used in western cultures in order to stimulate some kind of interesting conversation. Sometimes, it can be utilised when faced with an awkward conversation in the work corridor or kitchen. For example:

John: Erm (cough) hi
Isabelle: Hi. How are you?
John: Good thanks. How was your weekend?

Most of the time, noone really cares what their work colleague did at the weekend. However, when someone begins to tell their story the 'Listener' smiles and nods now and again to show interest. It is also sometimes met with utterances such as 'Oh really', 'Cool', 'Excellant', 'A relaxing weekend is nice'.

Once the weekend story has been told by the 'first person to tell the weekend story'. The protocol is to then ask what the 'listener' did at the weekend. For example:

Isabelle: ...then I took it out and whacked it with a ruler.
John: Ha ha. So a good time was had by all then.
Isabelle: So how was your weekend John?

John has then been invited to tell his 'weekend story'. He is expected to tell any 'amusing' stories that happened such as 'A bird pooped on my head', 'My wife ran away with the pool guy', 'I pulled my groin while vacuuming the house'. If no amusing stories come to mind, John might just begin to list trivial things that happened that nobody really gives a shit about but this is required in order to ensure that the conversation follows the correct protocol.

In order to end the conversation, John might say something like:

'So I better be getting back to my desk to meet the deadline'
'Well have a nice day Isabelle'

Then the conversation is completely resolved and both conversants can get on with their life following the correct norms and procedures.

So the point to note is:
- Nobody really cares what you did at the weekend.
- People who ask about your weekend are normally boring fuc#ers anyway.
- You could be telling your weekend story in double Dutch and most people would just smile and say 'Really', 'Cool', 'Radical dude' (well maybe not the last one).
- It's just a way to avoid awkward silences. The people who ask are normally insecure anyway.
- If you didn't do anything at the weekend, just say:
"My weekend was good thanks. How about you?"
- If they ask what you did. Just say:
"I just had a relaxing time watching some movies and playing games. It was good fun"

P.S Never think that you are boring. What does it mean anyway. "Boring" - it is such a stupid word. It is mostly used by people who are so insecure that they have to keep on doing exciting things in order to tell people about it for fear that they will be discovered as 'Boring'.

Have you ever head of 'Doing for the telling'. Some people actually do stuff just so they can tell people about it.

Anyway that is my spiel over with. I better get on with that deadline. Have a nice day!

 

[Argamemnon]

Save up lots of money - enroll on a college / university course and choose youself a good profession where you don't get so many assholes.

I'm afraid there are assholes everywhere.

 

[Chod77]

Save up lots of money - enroll on a college / university course and choose youself a good profession where you don't get so many assholes.

I'm afraid there are assholes everywhere.

So true.

 

[faithnomore]

Pluck up the courage to tell her she is a piece of sh*t lol. And that you couldn't care less what she thinks about you.

 

[HH]

i hate this bloody question every monday morning. I don't think i've ever asked this question to someone at work, because i don't really care what they got up to at the weekend. It only depresses me because they've done something good and been out with their other half.

Most of my weekends consist of working, going to the gym on sunday, watching top gear, jerking off and that's about it. End of

 

[Outshined]

Forget her, she's a bitch. Not all of us have great, exciting lives. In matter of fact, I would say a lot of people don't have much of a "life" outside work/school.

 

[jaidacoy]

To me.. this is personally one of those things that makes me laugh in my head. simply because, no matter what my current state is like.. any year of my life has been 10x more interesting and exciting than theirs has been. and because i know theres a reason why i'm not out living it up right now. i know exactly what im doing.. and people like that often do make you feel liek shit. but only for a second.. cuz you just wanna scream out.. " stfu you have no idea about me ". don't tell me to get a life.. when you obviously have a loser personality yourself. ya know? + it is so EASY to hang out with anyone who likes you.. but thart doesn't mean you're cool.
it use to be so annoying when people would look at my situation and be like.. wow.. ure ganna look like a loser. its like.. I really dont care what i look like in other peoples eyes. but obviously they DO. which is why theyre insecure and feel the need to 'correct' your life. CASE CLOSED

 

[steviegerrard489]

Last night I went to the pub with some work colleagues. After a few hours people broke of into groups and I was left with this girl I've known for a few years. She started asking loads of questions like why I don't have a girlfriend, why I don't do loads of stuff at the weekend, why don't I have any friends, why am I so quiet...

Lets just say it was not fun! This girl is hardly the most outgoing person herself so it was a bit of a kick in the teeth. I guess she was trying to help me out but being really blunt about it. She was saying that everyone thought I was nice but boring.

But her whole philosphy of telling me to 'snap out of it' is just not that simple is it.

I moved to a new office last week and I'm sitting just a few metres away from this girl. So annoying!

I can't help but try to avoid her. However, she has this habit of turning around to me, shrugging her shoulders and saying "How's it going?", in a kind of way that suggests shes taking pity!

The thing that annoys me is that she is always trying to find out what I'm doing in my spare time. Even if I am doing stuff I no longer wish to tell her, like yesterday evening when I went to a girl friends flat for dinner.

And also she never uses this approach with other people. She remains fairly upbeat with them but always trys to bring me down. One of these days I'm going to tell her to f**k off. Only problem is that we will be working in a similar team for the foreseeable future.

 

[villacjs]

i hate this bloody question every monday morning. I don't think i've ever asked this question to someone at work, because i don't really care what they got up to at the weekend. It only depresses me because they've done something good and been out with their other half.

Most of my weekends consist of working, going to the gym on sunday, watching top gear, jerking off and that's about it. End of

LOL! :lol:

 

[proudmummy]

OMG @ the weekend question.

I get asked it alllll the time. But unfortunetely, I am one who asks too. I only try to do it so I don't seem too quiet but it usually backfires! I mean they will say they played football or something and i'm really really not interested in football but will say like "how did you do?", "where was that then?" trying to dig for some common ground but there never is common ground so the convo just dies and i'm like, "ummm...so....".

I say some guy who used to go to my school the otherday and who I went out with for a while and he was sooo quiet, but I was asking all these questions and his answers were so short and blunt i didnt know whether my questions were stupid and unanswerable or if hes shy. Last time i'm asking after him, then!

 

[Cruddy]

I read alot about personality types, psychology etc. Therefore I feel I might have a few good opinions here.
This isnt necessarily in regards to the girl you were talking to but more about people who regard quiet people as boring. If you do some research you will see that the majority of the population has an extroverted personality. Whle a smaller group has the introverted personality. Introverts see extroverts as loud, aggressive, rude and impulsive in their behaviours. (this is how I see most people). Introverts think that most extroverts act without thinking and therefore are crude and thoughtless. Extroverts see introverts as a bit boring, whiny, self absorbed and hard to talk to. This is not the same in every case but the next time someone refers to you as "boring" just remember that they are coming from a totally different viewpoint and cant necessarily relate to the way an introvert thinks. Hopefully this will help you to not take it so personally when someone says this. However, it is rude that people would say this and who is to say what is fun. Giggly, loud, over the top behaviour has its limits and most people are easily drawn to shallowness. No one wants to to have to think or be serious for more than a minute. Its all about keeping themselves entertained 24/7.