Thought I was cured

[beals]

I thought I had for the most part "cured" my SA. Today I realized I wasn't when I had to call the pet groomers to get my dog an appointment. My mom usually calls, but sometimes I have to do it, and for some reason I always get EXTREMELY nervous. It was terrible, and she could barely understand me through my shakeyness. I felt awful after I made the appointment. The worst part is I have to face this lady tomorrow when I drop off my dog, she probably thinks I'm a major freak. Well no, that isn't the worst part, but it's pretty embarassing. The worst part is I feel defeated. I thought I had cured my SA through having a "what the hell" attitude, and healthy eating and exercise. I was doing well. I was able to talk to my peers in class without getting nearly as nervous as I usually do. I felt better about myself and I had no serious anxiety attacks like today on the phone. I thought I was on my way. But then this phone thing happens today and I cannot stop thinking about it, and I feel so pathetic. I know it's not the end of the world, but for me....it means my SA is here and it's been here all along. This is mainly a rant, my apologies. I just don't have anyone else to turn to. I tried therapy last year, but the therapist wanted to focus on less important issues, and she was just awful in general. That experience was not so great, so I am really against trying therapy again. I just feel so low right now. I don't want to be crippled with this forever and not be able to make a simple phone call without wanting to hang up.

 

[BlackKids]

The lady on the other end of the phone properly thinks nothing of it. You can't cure SA, thats impossible. Its a perfectly normal emotion just exaggerated.
I'd say the best thing you can do is go take your dog tomorrow with your head held high, a what the hell attitude. You know yourself that your anixety isnt anything to be affaid of.

I'm in a similar position, road to recovery and I can guarantee come tomorrow you'll feel alot better.

edit: I have the attitude now where If I find something that makes me anxious I'd go ahead and do it twice. Basically just to prove to myself that I can do it. Two phone calls for you tomorrow then

 

[Lonelykitsune]

At least your coming along.Its great your talkin g to your peers.I had a similiar thing today where i book a climbing lesson and the woman hung up on me(or so it thoiught,maybe just bad recption).I phoned again and she said she couldnt hear and to call back later.I eventually got it on the third try.Put m in a bad mood all day,knowing i had to call back after that.
But no-one will probably rember what you were like on the phone.
Sa is definetly tough but you sound like your doing great! Even people without SA sometimes have problems with phones

 

[beals]

Thank you both for your replies, you've made me feel a bit relieved. I guess I will just have to face that it doesn't happen overnight, and I will still have some bad moments. The phone is a huge obstacle for me, it's the craziest thing. But in other areas I am doing pretty well. Anyway, good luck to you both and thanks again!

edit: I have the attitude now where If I find something that makes me anxious I'd go ahead and do it twice. Basically just to prove to myself that I can do it. Two phone calls for you tomorrow then

Hmmm, this is a very interesting idea! I was actually thinking of calling someone else before the pet groomer to get in some "practice" but I couldn't think of who I'd call and for what. Who should I call?

 

[Krista]

Aw, I'm sorry that that happened to you dear. Unfortunately they're right, you can't cure SA and no I don't believe that SA goes away. In a way I think everyone has it, some more severe and extreme cases than others. What's sad is that your one encounter with a bad therapist ruined you from wanting to try the experience again. I do dislike when someone can ruin what should be a helpful and positive meeting but that shouldn't discourage you from trying again :: My therapist is the same way, a family counselor actually who would prefer talking about what kind of music I enjoy listening to than the real issues I'd like to talk about.

I've not cured SA but I've learned to manage it with help from myself and talking with a new psychiatrist. I can enjoy going out with my friends, go to parties if I'd like, go shopping, talk to the opposite sex and it feels wonderful. Is it like this all the time, of course not. There are days when I don't want to leave my house or I feel so down on myself about something. But learning to handle those moments is how you keep a positive view on things. I went to the movies with a guy and a car of boys drove by and barked like a dog at us...my initial first reaction like always is to assume that they were doing it in regards to me because I'm ugly or something. I got passed it and enjoyed the rest of the night swimmingly.

Rambling, point in case, don't give up on yourself. You're obviously strong enough to have gotten this far well enough and what you're doing is a very good start. Keep it up and remember you have to take the bad(even when it feels like despair) to know that good is coming your way. I do hope you feel better

 

[beals]

Thank you for your kind reply, Krista. It kind of makes my heart drop into my stomach when I read the sentence "you can't cure SA" haha, but I know what you mean. Being nervous is a natural emotion, we just experience too much of it! Anyway, I wish my therapist had been more helpful too, and I know that there are probably others out there than can potentially help me. I'm just not ready to go into that kind of situation again, the mere thought makes me feel bad.

I'm happy to hear that you are doing well with your SA. That's very encouraging and I hope you keep it up. Sometimes do you feel that you were meant to be this way, BECAUSE you are a strong person? I feel like people with social anxiety are very special, caring, strong people. Sometimes I even feel like I am a better person because of it, because I am always aware of other people's feelings and am very non-judgmental of others.

Anyway, thank you for your words. Taking the bad with the good is definitely something I need to work on. And I do feel better

 

[BlackKids]

Thank you both for your replies, you've made me feel a bit relieved. I guess I will just have to face that it doesn't happen overnight, and I will still have some bad moments. The phone is a huge obstacle for me, it's the craziest thing. But in other areas I am doing pretty well. Anyway, good luck to you both and thanks again!


Hmmm, this is a very interesting idea! I was actually thinking of calling someone else before the pet groomer to get in some "practice" but I couldn't think of who I'd call and for what. Who should I call?

If you haven't got any calls to make Id say just call a service garage and say you have a problem with your car. Tell them you have a problem with the thing under the bonnet that goes click. Talk aloada waffle and after you have made a fool of yourself you'll feel great

 

[beals]

^Haha! I will have to try something like that.

 

[Krista]

Thank you for your kind reply, Krista. It kind of makes my heart drop into my stomach when I read the sentence "you can't cure SA" haha, but I know what you mean. Being nervous is a natural emotion, we just experience too much of it! Anyway, I wish my therapist had been more helpful too, and I know that there are probably others out there than can potentially help me. I'm just not ready to go into that kind of situation again, the mere thought makes me feel bad.

I'm happy to hear that you are doing well with your SA. That's very encouraging and I hope you keep it up. Sometimes do you feel that you were meant to be this way, BECAUSE you are a strong person? I feel like people with social anxiety are very special, caring, strong people. Sometimes I even feel like I am a better person because of it, because I am always aware of other people's feelings and am very non-judgmental of others.

Anyway, thank you for your words. Taking the bad with the good is definitely something I need to work on. And I do feel better

Oh most certainly. I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to go back and see someone, only you know what's right for you I think that everyone has endearing and good qualities about them but I will say that people with SA are underrated and taken for granted. Though not a lot of people want to see it or think highly of themselves we're a great group of people. Our experiences make us compassionate towards the suffering of others because we've been through the same, dedication to helping others as they have helped us, caring and empathetic and strong because of what we have had or are still enduring, hopefully more people see that. And it helps that so many people with SA eventually get into careers that revolve around helping those in need. Struggle and hurt can bloom the most amazing people if they'd allow it.