this sucks! i never had a girl in my whole life!
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Cryptolysergick
Well-known member
Danfalc said:
Yea I see what you are saying. Ive dealt with shallow people before, msotly when iw as younger, guess it was just teh wrong crowd, andyea I do often find it easier to blame otehr people. :-/
My boyfriend was almost 19 when we started going out, and I was his first g/f, his first kiss, everything. He was well nervous with me to begin with, but I felt the same with him. So don't worry too much, not all girls are shallow and want guys with lots of confidence / money / cars. If you get the opportunity to get a g/f and you get worried and think you want to 'run' if she is the right girl for you, she'll talk you round and make you realise it's not all that scary.
Don't lose hope xx
Don't lose hope xx
abc1234
Well-known member
i understand completely how u all feel im 21 and have never had a girl friend and i want one so bad but i have such a hard time telling people how i feel.awhile i meet this awsome girl online we had so much in common she wasnt on as much so i asked for her number its been like a month now and i can grow the balls to call her im so pathic
Kalima
Well-known member
All you guys up there with comments about relationships or what you consider a lack thereof, take heart. I know it's easier said than done. I'm a girl and I did date before. But trust me, dating isn't what it's all cracked up to be. We all see the cute couples on TV, kissing, holding hands and all that other "good, fun-looking stuff". but real life just isn't like that. Just look at the divorce rate in the US, about 50%. So just imagine, people get married and don't even stay together. Relationships without marriage are usually even more unstable.
Don't worry, someone will come along one, and you'll fall in love (sounds like a fairy tale huh). Anyway, I think what happens is that we think another person will fill up a void in out lives. But you can find someone and still have a void maybe an even deeper void. So take care of YOURSELF first and relationships will come in due time.
Don't worry, someone will come along one, and you'll fall in love (sounds like a fairy tale huh). Anyway, I think what happens is that we think another person will fill up a void in out lives. But you can find someone and still have a void maybe an even deeper void. So take care of YOURSELF first and relationships will come in due time.
IamSAD
Member
I am 17 and feel exactly the same way. It is useless. I have had my first kiss though (when I was drunk out of my mind), but have never had a relationship. I can’t even talk to girls while sober. It is terrible.
I have never really asked a girl out, but there have been some girls interested in me. With my SA, however, I was unable to do anything. Talking to them was so awkward. Even though I might have liked them back, my SA made me seem dismissive and they eventually gave up.
It is especially frustrating since it seems like the friends that I have had all my life have girl friends and relationships, but I am unable to.
Unless something drastically changes, I too will die a virgin.
I have never really asked a girl out, but there have been some girls interested in me. With my SA, however, I was unable to do anything. Talking to them was so awkward. Even though I might have liked them back, my SA made me seem dismissive and they eventually gave up.
It is especially frustrating since it seems like the friends that I have had all my life have girl friends and relationships, but I am unable to.
Unless something drastically changes, I too will die a virgin.
Carina33
Well-known member
IamSad... you sound a lot like me.... I am 17, and I have never had a boyfriend. I don't think there is anything horrible about me, it's just that I am quiet. I mean, I have friends who are guys and everything, and I have times where I have maybe been close to having a boyfriend (and no... I wasn't just imagining it). I have kissed a couple of guys, but that was all a long time ago, and all quite meaningless. I am hating my situation more and more.
giveme5
Member
well, im 20 and havent got a bf at all. sometimes, i never really felt that i needed one.....but now, keeping keep asking me if i have a bf or if any guy is chasing me. i just say..."come on..of coz noot."..i look as tho i cant be bothered by it, but now, i just want to experience love. i wish it comes soon......
inthesameboat
Banned
Iam 25 never really had a girlfriend my sp has gotten the better of me a lot of times. I know it is frustrating and I feel like shit all the time but thinking that there still is a possibility keeps the hope alive. Plus I know I havent really made much of an attempt so that keeps me going maybe when I dont have such a bad perception of myself I might be able to find someone but untill that day I just keep my head up and find ways to cope with my time. This website has really helped I didnt know there was so many of us we need to stick together
DazedNConfused
Well-known member
Here's another 30-something whos only had one girlfriend (way back in highschool, lasted 2 weeks, so maybe even that dont count, even if we did get it on, if you know what i mean).
Mistakes I made? Well never had confidence in myself, even when I had a full head of hair and was relatively good looking, my shyness held me back, was always afraid of rejection. Now that i have a little more confidence, my baldness and slight paunch is getting in the way. Plus it doesn't help that I've spent the last 10 years of my life isolated in a bubble with my old circle of pot-smoking friends (most of who are married or in a serious relationship now), living at home (I've since moved to a bigger city in another state). The big question in my head is, how do you start dating at such a late age? It seems woman would be skeptical about someone who hasn't been with someone for that long. Sure, you can fake it, but with such inexperience, im sure it would show. Not trying to be negative, but how the hell do you overcome that catch-22 barrier?!
But after reading a lot of advise on here, I'm going to really fight for change, setting up an appointment with a phych to try to find a way to alleviate the uncontrollable depression and anxiety that I experience, that is no doubt caused by self-undermining thinking. That Nick fellow on here has LOTS of good advice (if I lived in England, I would join his group in a heart-beat). Now, it's just a matter of finding a way to overcome the intense emotions that sometimes drown me (something even positive thinking can tame, Ive tried like hell), hopefully the phych can help out in that area.
I mean, I gotta do something, my alternatives are to go back home and wait to die, or "expedite" the process out here. These are un-acceptable alternatives, 'cause if my plan for recovery works, I could have a great life (im one smart cookie, bringing "things" into my life is not a problem, it's bringing good people is what I have a hard time with). Not to mention the scarring pain it would cause my family back home (I couldn't imagine hurting them like that)
Can't wait to get out of these "dark-ages" of my life and finally see the light, this existance is miserable and makes me feel like a freak. Sometimes I can't even get things done when I get home, I go into a depression-induced sleep. Can't give up, and hopefully none of you other folks do, either.
Mistakes I made? Well never had confidence in myself, even when I had a full head of hair and was relatively good looking, my shyness held me back, was always afraid of rejection. Now that i have a little more confidence, my baldness and slight paunch is getting in the way. Plus it doesn't help that I've spent the last 10 years of my life isolated in a bubble with my old circle of pot-smoking friends (most of who are married or in a serious relationship now), living at home (I've since moved to a bigger city in another state). The big question in my head is, how do you start dating at such a late age? It seems woman would be skeptical about someone who hasn't been with someone for that long. Sure, you can fake it, but with such inexperience, im sure it would show. Not trying to be negative, but how the hell do you overcome that catch-22 barrier?!
But after reading a lot of advise on here, I'm going to really fight for change, setting up an appointment with a phych to try to find a way to alleviate the uncontrollable depression and anxiety that I experience, that is no doubt caused by self-undermining thinking. That Nick fellow on here has LOTS of good advice (if I lived in England, I would join his group in a heart-beat). Now, it's just a matter of finding a way to overcome the intense emotions that sometimes drown me (something even positive thinking can tame, Ive tried like hell), hopefully the phych can help out in that area.
I mean, I gotta do something, my alternatives are to go back home and wait to die, or "expedite" the process out here. These are un-acceptable alternatives, 'cause if my plan for recovery works, I could have a great life (im one smart cookie, bringing "things" into my life is not a problem, it's bringing good people is what I have a hard time with). Not to mention the scarring pain it would cause my family back home (I couldn't imagine hurting them like that)
Can't wait to get out of these "dark-ages" of my life and finally see the light, this existance is miserable and makes me feel like a freak. Sometimes I can't even get things done when I get home, I go into a depression-induced sleep. Can't give up, and hopefully none of you other folks do, either.
MarCPatt
Well-known member
he! The above post is kind of funny. Well, I too thought that I was going to end up six feet under without ever having a love relationship with any other person, but one day I met my hubby. At first we were just friends and I never thought that we would actually date, neverless get married. To make the story short, well, my hubby and I were each other's first in everything. My hubby is not a SP, but I guess he was just nerdy and girls did not want anything with him. I never thought that he would actually marry me, knowing that I am a social phobic, but to my surprize, he did.
To the guy who want to go with a prostitute, I advice that you do use protection. You never know if one day you can find someone. It would really suck if you find that special person after getting infected with AIDs.
To the guy who want to go with a prostitute, I advice that you do use protection. You never know if one day you can find someone. It would really suck if you find that special person after getting infected with AIDs.
DazedNConfused
Well-known member
Good to hear it worked out for you, Marcy (didnt work out too bad for your hubby either!)
To the guy talking about hookers: Its a bad way to go, not only for fear of aids (which is one of the worst ways to die IMHO, with sores all over your body, it even makes you go blind b4 it kills you), but because it holds you back from improving your SP to the point where you can get a girl without paying; it becomes a "crutch", and an addictive and money wasting one at that. And even if you do wear rubbers, you can get stuff like herpes and warts. Best to take care of the SP ASAP! Wish I did 10 years ago what im about to do now.
To the guy talking about hookers: Its a bad way to go, not only for fear of aids (which is one of the worst ways to die IMHO, with sores all over your body, it even makes you go blind b4 it kills you), but because it holds you back from improving your SP to the point where you can get a girl without paying; it becomes a "crutch", and an addictive and money wasting one at that. And even if you do wear rubbers, you can get stuff like herpes and warts. Best to take care of the SP ASAP! Wish I did 10 years ago what im about to do now.