DotFromOz
Member
Hello everyone, I have been lurking here for several days now, and I've wanted to post quite a few times, but I thought it would be better to suss the forum out for a while first. I knew I'd found some kindred spirits the moment I started reading.
I found your amazing website through a search about loneliness, because, I'm pretty much lonely most of the time. I used to have friends but over the years I have become more and more reclusive and lost touch with them all. My kids are my only in-person friends these days, but they like to do their own thing and I don't begrudge them that. And I don't want to burden them with my whining about being lonely. They would say to get out more and meet people... but I can't do that. I'm afraid of meeting people these days. I know that I have made this rut for myself, but I just can't seem to get out of it.
I am 47,... and I have been out of work for a couple of years now, and I feel really bad about that. I've been applying and applying for vacancies, and not heard anything back, so I have become despondent and lately I haven't been making the greatest effort that I could to find work, and I feel like a bit of a bludger. Though, I have been able to be there for the kids where I wouldn't have been otherwise had I have been working - a little bit of self-justification to make myself feel better - but most of the time, for various reasons, I feel like I'm a failure at life.
The Internet is pretty much my only social outlet these days, and even then lately it has just been me reading about what what others have been up to, and what the world is doing, the news and current affairs, etc. I do have a small number of online people that I talk with from time to time, and I really appreciate being able to do that. Without my precious computer I would have nothing much at all. Being the hermit that I am is hard. I hate the loneliness, but I hate the awkwardness of being around people.
It was a beautiful day out today, and I wished I had somewhere to go, and someone to enjoy it with, but unfortunately I had neither, so I just stayed in my room in front of the computer. If you have read this far, thank you for listening.
~ Dot
I found your amazing website through a search about loneliness, because, I'm pretty much lonely most of the time. I used to have friends but over the years I have become more and more reclusive and lost touch with them all. My kids are my only in-person friends these days, but they like to do their own thing and I don't begrudge them that. And I don't want to burden them with my whining about being lonely. They would say to get out more and meet people... but I can't do that. I'm afraid of meeting people these days. I know that I have made this rut for myself, but I just can't seem to get out of it.
I am 47,... and I have been out of work for a couple of years now, and I feel really bad about that. I've been applying and applying for vacancies, and not heard anything back, so I have become despondent and lately I haven't been making the greatest effort that I could to find work, and I feel like a bit of a bludger. Though, I have been able to be there for the kids where I wouldn't have been otherwise had I have been working - a little bit of self-justification to make myself feel better - but most of the time, for various reasons, I feel like I'm a failure at life.
The Internet is pretty much my only social outlet these days, and even then lately it has just been me reading about what what others have been up to, and what the world is doing, the news and current affairs, etc. I do have a small number of online people that I talk with from time to time, and I really appreciate being able to do that. Without my precious computer I would have nothing much at all. Being the hermit that I am is hard. I hate the loneliness, but I hate the awkwardness of being around people.
It was a beautiful day out today, and I wished I had somewhere to go, and someone to enjoy it with, but unfortunately I had neither, so I just stayed in my room in front of the computer. If you have read this far, thank you for listening.
~ Dot
