This Always Seems to Happen

[DanFC]

So I've grown tired of having no company lately and I tried out one of them dating websites two days ago. I got into contact with one person and, after my response, she said something along the lines of "you're funny and amazing". When I read her message I froze up like I do in real life, kind of like in unbelief. Anyways, now I'm scared of replying back because I don't want her image of me to be replaced for what I really am. This always happens to me; hell, it's even happened to me on this site (not with "relationships", but just people I could have been pals with). I'm sure this happens to others here?

Oh, and I also had a question which might be part of the reason I'm not so apt to respond. In her profile it says that she's in a relationship and just looking for a friendship. So when I first contacted her I kind of avoided that topic. But when she messaged me back she wanted to know what kind of girl I was looking for. I was a bit confused and asked her about it, and she said:

"Even though I'm in a relationship right now, I'm starting to see that there are alot more fish in the sea and I'm trying to open up my options before I end up settling down."

??? What does that mean ??? I "think" it means that she's not in a good place with her boy-toy right now and is seeing if she can get something better. Should I even deal with a person like that?

 

[Quiet Angel]

It sounds like she might want to explore & see what it's
like to date a number of people before settling down in a
relationship; because she doesn't feel ready for one.

Recently, I joined a dating site too. A good number of guys
expressed interest in me after having long conversations with
them. The next step was too difficult for me to bear and so I
literally said to each of them: "I'm not ready to date." But in
reality, it's my social phobia that's holding me back. It's a pretty
bad habit of mine. *heh*

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

??? What does that mean ??? I "think" it means that she's not in a good place with her boy-toy right now and is seeing if she can get something better. Should I even deal with a person like that?

I think you've got it. She's getting enough benefit from him that she isn't quite ready to drop him, but she's bored with him or thinks she can do better. She wants to make sure she doesn't have to spend any time alone.

The fact that she's in a relationship and still looking should be a huge red light warning about what sort of person she is.

 

[DanFC]

Lea, if I do ask her about I'll try to do it subtly.

And luckily Quiet Angel, she knows I have SA. So I hope she would have at least a little bit of understanding if I sort of cut off communication, not like it's something I want to do yet...

And yeah Nathaniel, I think that's how it's looking right now. I'll might try to prod more about it like how Lea suggested.

 

[SilverFire]

Should you get involved with a person like that? Heck no. Here's why: if she's doing that to the guy she's with now, she'll do it to you when she gets tired of YOU.

 

[AGR]

Should you get involved with a person like that? Heck no. Here's why: if she's doing that to the guy she's with now, she'll do it to you when she gets tired of YOU.

Agreed,what if she realises she wants to be with her boyfriend,the stuff outside will be like it didnt happen?
There will be always more fish in the sea if she acts like that when in doubt its best to forget her,its what I would do.
Either stay with the boyfriend or not,its not fair to the other person.

 

[Kinetik]

I'm not sure you should talk to her anymore. If she's willing to do this to her current boyfriend, she would have no qualms about doing it to you if things got serious. Having said that, it depends what you're looking for. If it's a relationship, she would clearly not be the best choice, but if it's just friends or a hook-up then I say ride it out without becoming emotionally attached. Either way, take her compliments with a big grain of salt. I think right now she's feeling so liberated by being able to talk to other men that she is likely somewhat overzealous.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

after you go out with someone for a number of dates it's either: you like them, or you don't. not only that, "in a relationship?" there's always going be other "fish" in the sea..you don't want to end up being the secret boyfriend..i would keep looking

 

[DanFC]

Ok, thanks everyone, I'll make sure of what's going on and if it's what I think it is then I'll break it off.