think i'm crazy, and its getting worse...

milesfromhome

New member
I'm new, so I hope I don't break any protocol. I'm just so.anxious I don't know what to do. It all started at walmart. I was late meeting a friend and so dkidn't bother drying off after I showered, I just threw my clothes on and left. I noticed before I got out of the car that my shorts were still wet, but assumed since they were thin they would dry fast. While in the store, this stranger started laughing and pointing her cell phone at me. I realized afterwards everything had dried, except the crotch of the pants. It upset me, but I .blew it off.

Lately, people have been laughing at me, complete strangers are staring and pointing and laughing and I have no idea why. I look fine, dressed normal, behaving normal and they're acting like I'm a monkey at the zoo. Think she posted it online but I can't find it. I've become obsessed looking. It's ruining my life. I don't go out anymore because there is always someone, laughing. It doesn't matter how look or behave, I can't escape them. All I do is randomly search the internet, trying to figure out what they are laughing at.

It's been months, and it's getting worse. I was already depressed, but now I'm flat out suicidal. I can't escape. I can't make it stop. I'm not even sure why they are mocking me but I hate my life and really hate this world and wish I was dead. No one understands I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know where to look. I just want it to end.
 

truffleshuffle

Well-known member
I'm new, so I hope I don't break any protocol. I'm just so.anxious I don't know what to do. It all started at walmart. I was late meeting a friend and so dkidn't bother drying off after I showered, I just threw my clothes on and left. I noticed before I got out of the car that my shorts were still wet, but assumed since they were thin they would dry fast. While in the store, this stranger started laughing and pointing her cell phone at me. I realized afterwards everything had dried, except the crotch of the pants. It upset me, but I .blew it off.

Lately, people have been laughing at me, complete strangers are staring and pointing and laughing and I have no idea why. I look fine, dressed normal, behaving normal and they're acting like I'm a monkey at the zoo. Think she posted it online but I can't find it. I've become obsessed looking. It's ruining my life. I don't go out anymore because there is always someone, laughing. It doesn't matter how look or behave, I can't escape them. All I do is randomly search the internet, trying to figure out what they are laughing at.

It's been months, and it's getting worse. I was already depressed, but now I'm flat out suicidal. I can't escape. I can't make it stop. I'm not even sure why they are mocking me but I hate my life and really hate this world and wish I was dead. No one understands I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know where to look. I just want it to end.
Your not alone I have that feeling all the time. Its weird becasue even if the person is not pointing and laughing at you, you still think there are. I have that feeling all the time and its a very stressfull. You are not alone in the crazy department.
 

laure15

Well-known member
Next time if somebody tries to take a picture of you (or your pants), walk away as fast as you can. Cover your face with 1 hand so that they don't get a good picture of you and spread it online.
 

milesfromhome

New member
It's getting so much worse. I'm not imagining it, total strangers are harrassing me everytime I leave the house. When I go for walks, people honk as they pass. Not at traffic, there is not traffic. Literally, often, it's just one car on the road and they honk only when they are in the midst of passing me. It's worse when I'm in a car. People still honk, but they'll also drive purposefully, recklessly, dead even with me before speeding up and cutting me off. And it isn't just the traffic pattern or bad drivers. They're staring and laughing, some people have almost wrecked. I'm starting to get really freaking terrified. I know it isn't something they're observing in person that could cause it. I'm not dressing provacatively, I'm not behaving in an attention grabbing way. When I'm on the train they're literally pointing and laughing. When I'm looking at coupons, it's happening. It happens when I'm not doing anything.

It has to be something online, but I'm so inept I don't know how to find it. I hardly ever check my email, much less have a useful working knowledge of current internet trends so I could effectively search. Worst of all, I've lost my internet because I had to move. Different city, same problem. In fact, things are getting worse, so much worse. It's happening more frequently. I am literally so afraid to drive now because I think they'll cause an accident. I don't know what to do or where to go or how to make it stop. I went from contemplating suicide to planning it. Please, someone, I don't know what to do. I can't even go to the police about the harrassment because it's so many different people, and I don't know what's causing it. I need to figure out what it is before I get committed for a nervous.breakdown.
 

milesfromhome

New member
Just to clarify, I have never ever in my life had this problem. I have become agoraphobic to the point I hardly ever leave the house because of this problem. It is ruining my life. I know they're identifying me visually, so it has to be a picture or video. But that makes it so much harder to find because I don't know the keywords. I need help knowing where to look, or finding someone who knows where to look. I'm clueless about social media. I tried signing up for twitter, but I don't know how to use it. I can't think of any solution other than finding the source of the problem or death. Moving to another city didn't help, it's my only option for escape.
 

jaim38

Well-known member
I have the same experience too. I've lived in 3 different cities and in all of them, there are strangers that harass me. I don't even know those strangers, nor do they know me, but for some reason, I get disliked and even hated everywhere I go. It's like I'm a magnet attracting bad luck. I don't dress provocatively too, but I do have sweat stains and there are people who have called me stupid because of this. Sometimes, it's the unfashionable, wide clothes that I'm wearing that people talk about, and sometimes, it's the way I look.

It just feels like I'm being cursed by some spirit(s), or maybe my enemies. Or maybe some malicious spirits are stalking me?!?! It's gotten to the point where I've even thought about consulting a psychic just to make sure whether there are bad energies hanging around me. Gosh, I miss the old days before I went to college when I don't have to deal with such issues.
 

Lowlight

Well-known member
Just to clarify, I have never ever in my life had this problem. I have become agoraphobic to the point I hardly ever leave the house because of this problem. It is ruining my life. I know they're identifying me visually, so it has to be a picture or video. But that makes it so much harder to find because I don't know the keywords. I need help knowing where to look, or finding someone who knows where to look. I'm clueless about social media. I tried signing up for twitter, but I don't know how to use it. I can't think of any solution other than finding the source of the problem or death. Moving to another city didn't help, it's my only option for escape.

I think you may be experiencing some paranoia.

The idea that there is some image or footage of you online that all these people are seeing sounds a little strange. If you have people just walking by on the street or in a car, it would be hard for them to identify you from some online source in such a short amount of time.

It may be true that you have had some bad experiences. We all do, with some of us having more than others. What is dangerous though is the belief that there is some vast conspiracy against you in the form of online recognition. I would suggest that you find a qualified mental health professional to evaluate you instead of killing yourself.
 

Hoppy

Well-known member
What is dangerous though is the belief that there is some vast conspiracy against you in the form of online recognition. I would suggest that you find a qualified mental health professional to evaluate you instead of killing yourself.[/QUOTE]


Agree with this, look for help.

It also sounds almost the same sort of problems a 'friend' of mine with bipolar had, so I would recommend getting screened for that too.
 

milesfromhome

New member
:( I swear I'm not paranoid. It only started happening a few months ago and now it happens everyday. Multiple strangers have come up to me and said the same line verbatim 'you're a long way from home.' But they're not being polite or nice, they're laughing. How would they know I didn't grow up here? There isn't a sign on my back and I don't tell most people I'm not from here
 

JackOfSpades

Well-known member
I would have to agree with some of the posters before me that you may be experiencing some paranoia. You should seek help because it's my experience that it gets much worse if left untreated by someone qualified.
 

Nathália

Well-known member
Since you feel suicidal and feel that you're on the verge of a nervous break down try calling a suicide hot line to help, some of them have counselors that can talk to you about this.

It could be anything going on, if it's getting to you like this find someone to reach out to, someone who is a professional. If even you don't believe it's paranoia, it's still a problem that seems to be hurting you and making you have a nervous break down. Try seeing one as well, to help this issue.
 

JohnDee

Active member
Sounds like you might be paranoid and suffer from psychotic tendencies, get medical help. P.S: If you are taking any drugs like weed, it'll make it worse.
If you don't get help now you could go full blown scyzophrenic.
 

ukmale

Well-known member
aww tell me about it .. even people on the phone I believe are laughing at me .. I keep thinking I'm a dick I stand out whatever I do people are laughing thinking I am a dick I am house bound can't even go 300yrs down street to the post box without thinking people are laughing at me I live in a street that is dead totally dead and I still can't go out I might do the odd walk up but that's 3am as I keep thinking people are laughing at me then I have the police trying to stop me thinking I'm out to nick stuff from peoples houses

I think I'm ugly .pathetic .useless .scum .waste of space .lazy zero confidence to even talk to people to look at people I get in to moods where I can pick up and talk on the food and I get moods where say like the other day I was eating lunch phone rang I started shaking and could eat the rest of my lunch only just started it waste of good food
 

ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
aww tell me about it .. even people on the phone I believe are laughing at me .. I keep thinking I'm a dick I stand out whatever I do people are laughing thinking I am a dick I am house bound can't even go 300yrs down street to the post box without thinking people are laughing at me I live in a street that is dead totally dead and I still can't go out I might do the odd walk up but that's 3am as I keep thinking people are laughing at me then I have the police trying to stop me thinking I'm out to nick stuff from peoples houses

I think I'm ugly .pathetic .useless .scum .waste of space .lazy zero confidence to even talk to people to look at people I get in to moods where I can pick up and talk on the food and I get moods where say like the other day I was eating lunch phone rang I started shaking and could eat the rest of my lunch only just started it waste of good food

@ukmale: You seem to have a very serious case of SA that might turn into agoraphobia if you don't already have it. I wonder if you could meet some of the people from SPW that are living in the UK? I think that would help you a great deal. Obviously, continuing as you are is hell.....Sure, it's natural to think people are laughing at you once in a while. Sometimes, I'll think I heard someone call me a name. But, to have that feeling ALL THE TIME. That's bad! I really hope you get the help you need and things change.
 

rocky_oreo

Active member
I think it's partly paranoia too. I used to suffer with this a bit with feeling like everyone was laughing at me or looking at me (I still feel this on odd occasions especially when I'm not comfortable with where I am) but my Mum helped me to deal with it. We sat down on a bench in a crowded public area and watched everyone as they walked by. I noticed then that there were groups of people that would walk by and they would look up at me and be laughing but it wasn't me they were laughing at, they were laughing with their friends. They just happened to look up and notice me as they were laughing.

I think the same might help you too?
 
Top