The Work Situation

[popolala]

I'm also majoring in psychology. While I do not know methods on handling certain situations that I have, I do know enough. I read studies. I consult with people who have experienced this. It's one thing knowing what it is and another knowing how to handle it.
Do you have a degree? I'm sorry if I assumed you don't. Is it in psychology?
And trust me, I'm not being rude. You were. And you still didn't answer the question. I thanked you for your assumption, didn't I? I tried to explain what I've been through and that you're looking at it wrong. I said that you aren't qualified to make judgements on how this thing started. You missed the point entirely.
I'm sorry if I seemed rude... I do get that from others but that's not my intention. I'm just more to the point about certain things than others.

You need to be careful with what you say, because it can offend others, but im not that botthered. I wasnt rude, i was trying to help.. and i dont think have a pychology degree would make you a good mind-reader .. if you think that, then you wont make it as a good pychologist, because people without a degree in pycho can even read people better than someone that does have one and the main thing, is you dont even know that or can see that! Anyways, forget it..

lastly, you should stop comparing yourself to others.. as this is your problem. & if people here have pychology degree, they would had solve their own problem, i think you are asking in wrong thread, if your looking for a pychologist.. go and see a professional one. we all have diffeerent degree here, not pychologist.. stop trying to justify what your saying.. because you dont make sense.

 

[nicole1]

You need to be careful with what you say, because it can offend others, but im not that botthered. I wasnt rude, i was trying to help.. and i dont think have a pychology degree would make you a good mind-reader .. if you think that, then you wont make it as a good pychologist, because people without a degree in pycho can even read people better than someone that does have one and the main thing, is you dont even know that or can see that! Anyways, forget it..

Really? I didn't say that at all. They can make educated guesses as to why you have social phobias or social anxiety. They can judge by experience. I didn't say become mind readers.
I still don't think I said anything to hurt anyone. At least I didn't try to.

 

[nicole1]

Wait. I just realized who you were.

 

[popolala]

Really? I didn't say that at all. They can make educated guesses as to why you have social phobias or social anxiety. They can judge by experience. I didn't say become mind readers.
I still don't think I said anything to hurt anyone. At least I didn't try to.

Good luck trying to figure out your problem..

and on a last note.. i may not have a pychology degree, but it doesnt mean i wont able to understand people with/without it.

goodbye.

 

[EasySkanking]

Let me say this - that's just the way things are going to be in the work place nicole. Best that you learn to accept it and ignore it as much as you can. It is vital that you learn to do this, being the extra-sensitive person that you are (presumably since you have SA).

 

[nicole1]

Let me say this - that's just the way things are going to be in the work place nicole. Best that you learn to accept it and ignore it as much as you can. It is vital that you learn to do this, being the extra-sensitive person that you are (presumably since you have SA).

Yea, I can agree, and that's the key advice given to me by everyone. What do you do to ignore it, though? You can tell yourself over and over, and sometimes, you pick up on a conversation and they are mentioning that oh, she asks me too many times about her story. Oh she did this instead of that, ha ha ha. I just think there's a way to act and not to act in the work place. It's childish to discuss someone with someone else that isn't....involved, you know. Criticism is one thing, putting down is totally different and something I could never understand.
The extra sensitive part is bad. While I've learned to take criticism of my work, personal criticisms are harder to take. Mostly because I'm nice and friendly in the work place and I tend to keep to myself. So, I guess I got it in my head that that should exclude me from the office gossips.... But you're right. It's the work place, not let's be friend place. I'll see every kind of personality and I should learn to cope.
But how? What did you do to get pass it?

 

[Feathers]

Okay, I looked at this other thread.. didn't see it beforehand.. this here relates to this thread and the other thread on 'which jobs for sa'

What you must know is that newspapers and magazines have been going through a rough time, due to internet and recession and all.. So that may have had something to do with how the attitude of people at work was too.. 'Downsizing' or moving to another location can be stressful for many people... mergers and such too..

As an 'intern' you're the 'weakest link' in the chain.. they may not dare to 'stress out' at the boss or people higher up on the level, you may get to hear 'comments'... It happens in families too.. (eg dad may be stressed at work and come home and yell at the 6-year-old etc.)

So maybe see if you could get a job/internship with a company that is in a more successful stage.. or at least with better team/people.. (and not downsizing.. you might need to do some research online first, or check certain forums or blogs of people 'in the know'..) Publishing/media industry has been undergoing significant changes...

Yeah, you could also look into self-publishing or freelancing and starting your own biz.. ideally while you're still in school/doing internships or summer jobs or such.. It's not so easy either, but at least you're more in control?
Some websites may just look for 'cheap articles' for $1, some companies still invest into more quality writing..

If the comments were sexist or rude, you might have a case for 'workplace harassment' or such maybe? (Some people have sued and some didn't, there are support websites I think..) also there are tips on how to handle direct remarks.. probably there are tips how to handle rumors too, hm?
The sad fact is that if your photo is published appearance does matter.. (Jenna Glatzer wrote about this too, she has a good manual about freelancing)

It's great that you're also a psychology major - may give you more insight and ability to write articles and stuff.. Someone we knew finished psychology uni and next year committed suicide though... Things can go wrong even with a degree.. and yeah it's different knowing about it and actually doing/combatting something..
How about maybe doing some volunteering to get you out of the house first? Or writing/PR for good non-profits?

Actually I think Popolala gave you good advice, to maybe work on the perfectionism and accepting negative opinions of others.. (I've had BIG troubles with that personally too, and I think it's something to definitely work on for many people with sa) I'm still working on it too..

Accept you're a newbie and might do things wrong, and have a life balance - other things worth living for, ideally... People can deal with a crappy job/boss easier if they have a puppy at home or a hobby or cool event to look forward to...

Are you doing CBT or such, alone or with a psychologist or in a support group? The black-or-white thinking or negative thoughts can appear in 'sneaky ways' even if we know what they are etc.
I was thinking it would be great to have a support group for career advice too.. Not sure if that's available anywhere specifically lol.. (and there would be some privacy concerns etc)

 

[mikebird]

We all feel the same! It's horrible!

There's an amount I'll bend to do as I'm told, but my increasing anger in any situation, whether professional or social, is no good for me.

My tactic is always to find work to do just by doing as told, but I prefer to have it my way. The slope toward getting a job is nigh on impossible, getting through security, complying with agents and their clients considering letting me onboard; all getting harder. It's great to have some success in that, but it does lead to not being willing to do as I'm told.

Today I've tried for once to seek jobs, omitting the usual phone numbers from the CV, and then multiple layers of filling forms about my ethnicity, my name, bringing my passport, and all my evidence and ID....

I wish the CV could just be enough to know what people need, without spending all my days talking smalltalk to recruiters, answering pathetic trivial questions on the phone about "is that OK, Mike? Shall I submit your CV to our client?"

Nothing happens unless they can achieve what they seem to want to in a phone conversation, which often leads to screaming at these spastics. Their perfect psychology to eliminate me.

Anyone else get that?