The whatever journal (part 2)

w*n*c*a*m

Well-known member
I did some backread & I realised how stressful my previous company was and I even felt a little stressed & exhausted just by reading it. I’ve been blaming myself too much for being different but now I realised that they were partly to blame too. Coz how come I did not feel that stressed when I changed company? Like I haven’t even talked much about my current company when I was still new. That says a lot, right? Like most of my entries recently were more to do with my personal struggles than anything to do with work. It made me realise that if I’m constantly struggling & stressed in a certain situation, maybe I should stop putting all the blame to myself, maybe I’m just in a toxic environment or with toxic people.
Having said that, I truly love my job & the company I’m in but I’m planning to change career for a better opportunity. The only big thing that I’m afraid of is the work environment in that field. I hate to experience those stress I had in my previous company. I’m taking a risk - especially financially- and I’m glad hubby is supportive. He said whatever the outcome is, there will be no blame game. Coz if it happens that the new career is too much for me, I will choose my mental health over any financial loss or gain, which means staying to my current job & wasting the money I’ll be spending for that diploma & losing the salary upgrade as well.
 
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