The thing you avoid is the thing you want most in the world?

[laure15]

Is it safe to assume that the things you avoid; women, intimacy, close physical contact is something you crave desperately but don't have the ability (panic, anxiousness, shyness, etc.) to make it happen? I assume the IDEA of it or her is what makes you anxious (scared) and want to avoid without even knowing the outcome or the potential????

I avoid bullies and negative people, does this mean I crave them?
I avoid people and things for multiple reasons. I avoid relationships because I'm not ready for them and I'm ultra happy being single at the moment. I avoid sex because I don't want to get STDs, HIV, pregnancies, and other risks involved.

I'm a romantic at heart I guess, so I've always wanted love: to be loved, and to love someone. And yes, it's scary, mainly because I have difficulty trusting people. I have not done enough to overcome that

I'm sort of a romantic at heart too. Some chick flicks and dramas have touched my heart deeply. But if I were given a chance to live out my life in a chick flick or drama, I would turn it down. I like to keep fiction and daydreams separate from real life.

 

[Barrier]

Possibly. I sometimes don't even know what I want any more. Sometimes I wish I could change past things. I know I can't and I have to get over that, but I can't seem to make that work. If I feel deep down that that's what I want most... :kickingmyself:

 

[Ballista]

Well for me, the girl i like i am quite shy around of course, but there are always some girls that i feel comfortable around, because for instance there are a few completely non sexualized girls that are nice and ive known them since literally kindergarden, so of course i feel comfortable around them. But i act so unassuming around girls i do like, because i have insecurities about being very unattractive (which i am) and lame so I never try to show any interest so as not to creep them out, unless its obvious that they like me. And another reason i act unassuming is because i have been in situations where very unattractive girls have liked me, and i felt disgusted, so i try to make sure not to put that discomfort on my crushes. I know thats a bad mindset but obviously it will be a matter of time and better circumstances before i can do better.

 

[WishingICould]

I crave friends and to go out like everyone else but when friends do ask me to go I try and think of an excuse to get out of going.

 

[Marc7]

not procrastinating and a social life

 

[Ithior]

Well for me, the girl i like i am quite shy around of course, but there are always some girls that i feel comfortable around, because for instance there are a few completely non sexualized girls that are nice and ive known them since literally kindergarden, so of course i feel comfortable around them. But i act so unassuming around girls i do like, because i have insecurities about being very unattractive (which i am) and lame so I never try to show any interest so as not to creep them out, unless its obvious that they like me. And another reason i act unassuming is because i have been in situations where very unattractive girls have liked me, and i felt disgusted, so i try to make sure not to put that discomfort on my crushes. I know thats a bad mindset but obviously it will be a matter of time and better circumstances before i can do better.

I can relate to that. Around girls I don't like I can be pretty chatty and funny. Around girls I do like I can't say a word.

 

[Ballista]

I can relate to that. Around girls I don't like I can be pretty chatty and funny. Around girls I do like I can't say a word.

Yeah, i can be funny to girls i don't care much about(or i value them highly as only friends) but of course the attractive ones i start acting awkward around.

OH THE IRONY

lol

 

[mikebird]

I have had and want

girls
friends
fun
work
money
holidays

I use recent experience as evidence that it won't happen again
The more I experiment, the deeper the esteem goes.

Maybe due to age

economy

I don't like excuses

I am motivated, as usual, but rational logic pays, when you're a seasoned experimenter. Gambling is not fruitful

Bumping into someone aproppriately sexxyy doesn't put me off. It's a tough dilemma in general, as you build history. Important to learn your own weaknesses, and compare with what's available

 

[TailsAlone]

Not in my case. I avoid conflict, relationships, commitments and unnecessary human contact because I don't want them and I'm not ready, simple as that.

 

[neohorizon]

if we want something and we dont have confidence on ourselves, we avoid fearing a bad impression, messing up...

Shyness is the DESIRE to please and the fear of not succeed... (ANXIETY OF NOT SUCCEED)

 

[PseudoLoneWolf]

It is about what drive is stronger. As simple as that. If your desires are stronger than your fears, you go for it. If your fears are stronger, you escape. The degree changes from person to person.

 

[laure15]

^Don't forget ethics. If I desire something, I might not pursue it even if I'm fearless because I think it's wrong.

 

[PseudoLoneWolf]

^Agreed. I consider myself religious. I am sort of new here and by looking at the posts, I assume a lot of people are mainly concerned about approaching the opposite sex. What I said would be valid where ethics would not apply.