I suffer the same.
Effort is high, but it's the cornerstones of society and hierarchy / authority when people prevent me form doing what I want, can, and need, irrespective of their groundless, subjective judgement.
Confidence is key but I do have plenty of it alongside my own pride. My audacious, assertive nature just doesn't seem to fit others.
Maybe I was spoilt in childhood, and took control of my parents, because I thought of them as stupid. That won't work in the world today. I need to bow down.
Maybe being responsible for my (our) children would flip my life upside-down and make it right