The people who want to help us are outdated

[SeniorRedrings]

The people who want to help us are outdated.

Outmoded thought assumes that those gifted with SA need help to reintegrate back into the world.According to archaic assumptions we need to get back out there and connect with real people.
Well this idea is old hat.Old hat like the dinosaur or the penny farthing.
Opportunities in the outside world are shrinking,physical spaces to carry out relations like we did in the past are disappearing.Few chat to the local shopkeepers anymore,few have the chance to widen their circle of friends by bumping into likeminds at social amenities such as a library,pub or even a park bench.
The outside world of social possibilities is shrinking.The flavour and uniqueness of many communities is vanishing.The consumer experience now consists of waiting in all day for a package to arrive.The world is fast becoming a homogeneuos hinterland offering only harsh spaces designed for the consumer to hurry and grab.
So to those who offer help,why do you offer techniques that were only effective in more gentler times?
Maybe you are noticing the world has become divided up into more formalised and socially inhibiting zones where spaces are only opened up for the public so they can be influenced to behave a certain way.
Maybe those who strive to help us need to indulge in the fantasy that the world is still a place where you can go outside to relax.
In future,it is entirely possible that the SA will be the ones doing the teaching.
When it becomes apparent that the average citizen has less value than the men in the trenches of WW1,has no say in community matters and no longer has any realistic on the table options available when it comes to planning for a comfortable financial future or bequeathing a legacy,then they may need help coping with the factors involved diminished living.
Now I am not trying to pitch a hopeful scenario to my fellow sufferers so we can all look forward to our day in the sun.Nor are we a specially evolved social animal biding its time.We were simply the first to be affected by conditions.
What I am saying is that the stresses of staying at home all day,having to endure stilted conversations that lack a natural flow,being held hostage by compulsive behaviours is already a part of everyone's lives.
Human behavior is being reshaped,and it's not going in the gregarious and open direction,it coming in our direction.
Within the next couple of years the market and the failure of politics to engage the common person will push more and more people over into our category.
So don't feel so bad if you're not up to the challenge of being one the last truly sociable people putting themselves out there,because even those who shine in any given situation are being to look and feel a little jaded,beginning to feel like they're swimming against the tide.

 

[SeniorRedrings]

Yeah.me again,rambling on,replying to my own post.

Conversationland,interruptus preemptus and the death of casual conversation.
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What got my mind racing enough to post this was a spam message I received today,inviting me to come to a wonderful land of conversation.A place where,for a nominal fee I could learn all the hassling moves of a bogus council worker grafting to convince an old dear that he's only come to read the meter.
Interpersonal DLC that would give me the tactical edge when it comes to talking over and taking over my conversational adversaries.
I would be schooled in the art of winning any oral encounter by using skills previously only known to con artists and used car salesmen.
Pitched an inclusively exclusive offer,open only to those who feel special enough to treat themselves to some special ed.
Knicker dropping,friend enchanting opening gambits for sale.
In short I was made to feel like a moron by being asked to pay for the privilege of talking to the person who's intention it was to fleece me.

 

[panicsurvivor]

Wow I have never heard anyone rationalize their condition so much. Your post is so full of denial and bitterness that I got a little sick reading it. I truly hope that no one reads it and tries to jump on your band wagon of denial and self pity. Sa, panic attacks, avp, and so on, are challenges to overcome not some logical final destination, that everyone is headed to. There are a lot of things going horribly wrong in the world right now. Millions of people are seeing it. I have news for you, they don't all have SA. LOL. These theories that you have about the world are not new. Many people have them, and many people have far worse interpretations than you. They still go out and socialize. You think that if the world really hits a collapse, that people with SA, and other such problems are going to be ahead of everyone else? This is such a deluded notion, that I am having a hard time believing I read it. If there is a collapse people with anxiety issues are going to be the ones who have the hardest time dealing with it. They will not be able to survive in the comforts of their home, behind their computers, living off whatever support mechanism they have. That will be over!!! They will have to live for themselves, IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD.
The people that want to help us are for the most part, good and caring people who WANT TO HELP US!!! They see people that are suffering a condition, and they want to help us break free of that condition. Some of these "outdated" people have actually dedicated their whole lives to studying and applying themselves to helping others.
Anxiety is not enlightenment, it is fear. Period. Trying to claim otherwise is stupid. Fear can be defeated. Coming on to this forum, and preaching that anxiety and sa is the way of the future, and that everyone is heading there is complete B U L L S H I T!!!! Then calling the people who want to help outdated, is a slap in the face to millions of good people who care about others, and are TRYING TO HELP!!!
This post angered me on so many levels, and I sincerely hope that no one on this forum that I care about reads it, and starts adopting this terribly defeatest, and ignorant attitude. It could possibly damaging to already sensitive people.

 

[EasySkanking]

^Thanks bro

It's good to see that you are here to protect us from such "over-the-top" negativity. A lot of us feel vulnerable often and so are susceptible to such negativity easily.. So thanks, you saved us from one

I think SeniorRedrings was sort of venting mostly, and he has every right to do so, the bad part is that it could affect people negatively. I'm sure he didn't have that intention though.

 

[SeniorRedrings]

I thank you for your input and I suppose most of what you said could be true.
Your input is valued.

 

[SeniorRedrings]

My intention was actually to uplift the reader.
Oh well,back to the "effective communication of ideas" night classes for me then.

 

[panicsurvivor]

^Thanks bro

It's good to see that you are here to protect us from such "over-the-top" negativity. A lot of us feel vulnerable often and so are susceptible to such negativity easily.. So thanks, you saved us from one

I think SeniorRedrings was sort of venting mostly, and he has every right to do so, the bad part is that it could affect people negatively. I'm sure he didn't have that intention though.

Venting is one thing. Twisted negativity is another. The title of the thread was laced with it, and it was edited, so I am guessing that it was even more so originally. There was even a smug comment about someday people with SA teaching others. Teaching what? How to be afraid of others? How to drip venom at those who wish to make others happy, and well? LOL. I will always try to help anyone that I feel needs help. So I guess I am outdated too. I have a deep streak of protectiveness for the people on this forum. I have even physically fought someone in real life about spw. So when I see someone preaching such nonsense, it worries me that it will affect my friends.

 

[SeniorRedrings]

The title was changed because I messed up the spelling.It was an act of editorial kindness by the one of the mods to try and make me look less like a chump.

You misunderstand me.I was trying to point out that we too have the ability to teach,that we are not useless to society,no matter how withdrawn we may be.
We have gained skills in learning to cope with our conditions,skills that we may be able to teach to people who are also becoming forgotten and withdrawn without SA playing a part.
SA is a cruel condition.We learn to strengthen ourselves against that cruelty.We can teach others to strengthen themselves against the cruelty in their lives.
You may not have noticed but things are getting bad for everyone and I'm saying if there are people like us,who have not sunk,but learned to swim,even if it is only treading water,then we can help others stay afloat.Show them that the apparent absence of hope is no reason to give up,no reason to stop struggling and sink out of trace.

 

[panicsurvivor]

The title was changed because I messed up the spelling.It was an act of editorial kindness by the one of the mods to try and make me look less like a chump.

You misunderstand me.I was trying to point out that we too have the ability to teach,that we are not useless to society,no matter how withdrawn we may be.
We have gained skills in learning to cope with our conditions,skills that we may be able to teach to people who are also becoming forgotten and withdrawn without SA playing a part.
SA is a cruel condition.We learn to strengthen ourselves against that cruelty.We can teach others to strengthen themselves against the cruelty in their lives.
You may not have noticed but things are getting bad for everyone and I'm saying if there are people like us,who have not sunk,but learned to swim,even if it is only treading water,then we can help others stay afloat.Show them that the apparent absence of hope is no reason to give up,no reason to stop struggling and sink out of trace.

Fair Enough.

 

[Ms Cloud]

You may not have noticed but things are getting bad for everyone and I'm saying if there are people like us,who have not sunk,but learned to swim,even if it is only treading water,then we can help others stay afloat.Show them that the apparent absence of hope is no reason to give up,no reason to stop struggling and sink out of trace.

I got that from your original post, Senior. I didn't think it was negative at all; I thought it was rather poetic and self-expressive and people should be encouraged to express themselves. Anyone who reads poetry or listens to song lyrics will know that self-expression often comes across as negative, or at least contemplative. It doesn't come with a warning label: "caution, may contain negativity, may be hazardous to your health."

I didn't like that you got attacked and judged for it, but I suppose that's the risk we take when we express our thoughts publicly. We have to defer to whatever majority happens to prevail.

 

[this_portrait]

I kinda get what you're trying to say. I think the use of technology does make it harder for those of us with social phobia to use traditional methods of putting ourselves out there, because everything has become so personalized. Technology has made it so you practically don't have to interact with people to get the things you want or pay your bills or whatever. Is it convenient? Of course. It has it's pros.

On the other hand, if everything is personalized and no one has to interact with others, then that can be a bad thing. Hell, it might even make people who originally didn't have social anxiety develop it somewhere down the line. It especially makes it hard for those of us who are trying to get better to do so because everyone else is so used to technology. They don't want to talk on the phone; they want to text. People want to engage in impersonal communication techniques, which isn't good for the social phobia sufferer.

 

[SeniorRedrings]

Thank you,your post was quite poety too ya know.

I suppose negativity is frowned upon in some circles,strange seeing as it is a part of all of us.
I am okay with panicsurvivor.He expressed himself in a free way,that is healthy.Thank you for looking out for me tho.That was kind.

 

[SeniorRedrings]

I had not considered the personalisation of technology angle,and I doubt I could have put it across the way you did.
This is always good to have little bits added to make up a thought mosaic.

 

[Silatuyok]

This post didn't anger me, but I do have to agree with panicsurvivor that is smacks of rationalization. But, it's a very human thing to want to rationalize any situation, so I can't fault you for that. One of my problems is that I fight so hard against rationalization, which just makes my life harder.