The Future... :/

[fitftw]

Great idea. I'd love to go live in some natural-beauty-rich area like China and live with monks. I want a simpler life without material things. I'm also tired of seeing women who blow my mind. It's like I fall in love with every girl who I think is beautiful. Like today, I was by the mailbox actually on the phone with my parents (I never do this) and of course a beautiful girl wearing all black with black hair and a pink flower in it, also smoking a cigarette, walks in front of me to her car to get something. I wanted to badly to hang up and talk to her, but I didn't. I'll probably never see her again. I want to leave a note under her windshield wiper saying something stupid like "I think you're beautiful and I want to get to know you" with my number on it or something.

Sorry this is off topic, but this just happened and blew my mind...I have never seen such a woman...sigh...

Anyway, ugh...I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm sick of spending all day and night in my room when there are opportunities out there to make friends (and hopefully a girlfriend). I need a job...I need outdoor hobbies around people...I can't do this anymore. I have it in me to be social, I just find comfort in doing absolutely nothing even though I HATE IT :'(

 

[panicsurvivor]

Dude you sound like a very interesting person. You have a decidedly negative outlook, and attitude. LOL. But you don't seem to have any problems being pretty successful in life. You saw the world, because you wanted to. So many "normal people" cannot get it together to do this there whole lives. You go work out (something I am also a avid fan of) again something thousands of normal people say they are going to do, but never do. You are about to graduate college, again...... but you get my drift. A lot of people with our kinds of problems, sort of dig a whole for themselves, by being lazy and never trying anything. That can definately not be said about you. I think a lot of your problems come from being too smart for your own good. You see through the bull**** that the human race constantly spouts. It makes you angry and probably pretty depressed. It also makes you alone. I am sorry. You aren't alone at all. But there aren't that many of us compared to everyone else. You probably would do better in another country like you and feathers were talking about. If bull**** bothers you than America is probably the least Ideal spot for you, as us Americans are quite full of ****. I just have to say, that I personally have a lot of respect for you. For whatever is worth. I wish I could help more.

 

[fitftw]

Panicsurvivor, that is probably the most enlightening and eye-opening speech anyone has ever said about me. It's like you're in my mind lol. We must be really similar. I'd love to live somewhere else but I think a permanent complete change like that would just be too much for me. But maybe not. Arg I don't know. I'm just going with the flow, day to day, just keep swimming.