the effort to not talk

[Gustopher]

for example if i see someone at work near an area where i gotta drop off some pallets ill panic and find something else to do until nobody is around, i dont like people looking at me, i become extremely paranoid that they will talk about me, or watch me as i do my work. i set up to meet people and often nearly bail at the last minute. i really have to put in an effort to socialize with others. if i have questions i will try my hardest to not ask
i cant walk into rooms with people seated
i cant eat infront of others
i cant look up while walking in busy places
i cant do public speaking
i always say to myself i want friends to talk to, but i cant put in any effort to try to meet others iv never met anybody like myself and for that i dont want to bother trying to put trust into others
i am paranoid about my health, i often get so wrapped up in my panics i will fully convince myself im going to have a heart attack. if i get a pain in my arm i think its the start of a stroke, or a possible blood clot. a pain in my stomach and i instantly think i have intestinal bleeding.
i am so worn out, i wish life was easy im only 18 and i feel like iv been alive for 50 years

 

[Starry]

I know how you feel... I try to avoid people as much as possible: If I have to mow the law I check to make sure the neighbours aren't outside, and if they are I wait until they're gone. Most of what you said affects me also, especially being paranoid about health! The number of times I've been absolutely convinced I'm going to die because of a heart-attack is ridiculous! My anxiety became much worse a couple of months ago, but it is easing off a little again now.

But there is always hope. You may feel worn out, and believe me, I know how that feels, but you are young and things can improve. They improved for me and I had very little anxiety for a few years... it has returned, but it's easing off again, as I said.

 

[pirana]

except that eating infront of others..i agree with u.....

 

[Canis lupus]

Sounds very familiar. I often think "Am I only 28? It feels like I'm 82." Also do the heart attack thing although in my case it's more hoping I'm having one. Avoiding people have been going better for me lately but that's only because at the moment I can arrange it so that I only have to come in contact with people with the same interests and views as me which makes it a little easier. I still have to force myself to speak up and often my heart is still racing but at least I don't have to worry about getting bad reactions. Maybe this might help you to? Try to find people that you really get along with opinionwise. In all other cases I still do my best to avoid them though. Haven't seen my family since new year and then I just sat quietly at the corner of the table all day and don't go to work anymore because I couldn't handle being around the other workers anymore or being yelled at for making mistakes because I didn't dare to ask what I should do and just did what I thought was right.

 

[Silatuyok]

for example if i see someone at work near an area where i gotta drop off some pallets ill panic and find something else to do until nobody is around, i dont like people looking at me, i become extremely paranoid that they will talk about me, or watch me as i do my work. i set up to meet people and often nearly bail at the last minute. i really have to put in an effort to socialize with others. if i have questions i will try my hardest to not ask
i cant walk into rooms with people seated
i cant eat infront of others
i cant look up while walking in busy places
i cant do public speaking
i always say to myself i want friends to talk to, but i cant put in any effort to try to meet others iv never met anybody like myself and for that i dont want to bother trying to put trust into others
i am paranoid about my health, i often get so wrapped up in my panics i will fully convince myself im going to have a heart attack. if i get a pain in my arm i think its the start of a stroke, or a possible blood clot. a pain in my stomach and i instantly think i have intestinal bleeding.
i am so worn out, i wish life was easy im only 18 and i feel like iv been alive for 50 years

I think the only constructive thing you can do at this point is force yourself into those situations that you fear. If you don't make yourself face it, nothing will ever change. I know that's way easier said than done, but I just don't know of any other solution. Start small, by looking up once or twice in busy places, and work forward from there. You have to constantly challenge yourself to take steps forward, or you're just going to stagnate.

 

[Meggy0001]

Thats exactly the way I am too! and it sucks.

 

[Ignace]

I recognize myself in this, unfortunately we all don't work together, that'll be cool. :: And yeah, forcing seems like the only way ...

 

[vj288]

I am like this most of the time, and was even more so in the past. Whenever I have an opportunity to avoid talking to people or making contacts with others I am likely to take it, I do try to not let myself avoid so much but I do a lot still. Even in conversation and when I am in an interaction I've developed ways to limit the amount of talking I need to do. The best thing to do is to sort of force yourself into situations and make yourself go through with things. Reminding yourself that you really have nothing to lose. So much easier said then done I know though.

 

[THeCARS1979]

for example if i see someone at work near an area where i gotta drop off some pallets ill panic and find something else to do until nobody is around, i dont like people looking at me, i become extremely paranoid that they will talk about me, or watch me as i do my work. i set up to meet people and often nearly bail at the last minute. i really have to put in an effort to socialize with others. if i have questions i will try my hardest to not ask
i cant walk into rooms with people seated
i cant eat infront of others
i cant look up while walking in busy places
i cant do public speaking
i always say to myself i want friends to talk to, but i cant put in any effort to try to meet others iv never met anybody like myself and for that i dont want to bother trying to put trust into others
i am paranoid about my health, i often get so wrapped up in my panics i will fully convince myself im going to have a heart attack. if i get a pain in my arm i think its the start of a stroke, or a possible blood clot. a pain in my stomach and i instantly think i have intestinal bleeding.
i am so worn out, i wish life was easy im only 18 and i feel like iv been alive for 50 years

hey whats up. I used to get those same panics attacks in high school. When I was walking or running up the stairs, I used to have heart palpitations going up the stairs. I had sweaty palms for years until they went away. The pains in your stomach are brought on by you, you over think it. I used to have heart burn and indigestion also. I would know cause I went though all those things. I was working at stupid ass Mc Donalds worrying what the jerk boss was thinking. Also depression, anxiety, lack of self confidence. All these problems are brought on by you and I didnt realize it right away. I find it hard to trust myself well cause people just suck, theyre gonna say what their going to f *cking say just to bring you down cause theyre so insecure themselves and have nothing better to do. Tel them to f k off. Try to drink more water and deep breathing helps. Try changing your diet around. That may help. Maybe go to a therapist to talk about some of these things but I dont recommend taking any kind of over the counter or precription drugs. Right now if i were you, Id try Passion flower, you can get it from GNC, or try valerian root in a liquid form, also from GNC. If you want also check in with a doctor. I cleared alot of these things up. My problem now is talking with girls. That needs to be addressed. This may take awhile but you will be alright.

 

[Shy-michael]

About the part of you health, I have some of those too. Also more, but to see this one, i was suprised. I always have the fear of getting paralyzed. Not that much that I freak out, but just feels like I'm loosing the feeling in my arms or legs. When I'm in company I have this more, but when I get a 'attack' I just try to be normal. Making problems of it, would only make things worse.
What I also had for a few time was that I felt crazy when I laid in bed. Realy thinking: oh damn, this is going to be the end, I won't suvive the day. Sometimes I even wrote notes to my parents, with a message that i loved them, in case of I wouldn't wake up the next morning lol. This was when I was younger, and I removed the notes every morning of course when I did wake up haha