The dreaded.. long.. awkward.. pause..

[Kitana]

Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than the dreaded long akward silence. And to make matters worse, when this occurs.. more often than not, you have NO escape.

For example, just a few minutes ago, I was outside smoking and a guest came out and asked about the weather. I told him the weather channel said it would be sunny all day, and we chatted for a few minutes..I felt like I was doing a pretty good job socializing, but than comes the awkward silence. We both had cigarettes still lit, and his was only about 1/2 so I knew I had at least 3 more mins with this guy.. but had nothing to say!

Than that short awkward silence becomes an even longer awkward silence and I feel like I've missed my cue. If I spoke up now, it would just look weird. But, I can't walk away from the guy either -- cuz thats kind of an A-hole move. So I'm stuck, just standing next to this guy smoking.. trying to find something to look at -- but looking all over makes me look weird too. So I just stare straight ahead, than I realize how weird THAT looks LOL!

I start to question every one of my movements.. even where I'm flicking my ashes! like "crap! did that blow onto his shoe? CRAP!" lol.

Anyways, finally after what seemed like forever, he puts his cigarette out and says to me "nice chatting with ya".. but I couldn't help feel like he was being sarcastic. Ugh.. I can't wait to go home

 

[Falkor]

Hey,

I know how that feels.
I feel really upset too when I have awkward silences,
I start worrying what the other person will think of me.
I'm just not a person who comes up with a thousand stories,
But I'm good at asking questions.
And answering questions the most ::
It's just because I don't socialize alot, so I'm not very good at it
But sometimes I suprise myself
I bet you have those moments too!!!
Be happy who you are... And just accept that u sometimes dont know what to say... It happens to everyone, and 2 u more... and to someone else less..
and to another person even more than u lol!
I hope I can cheer u up with this
Please don't worry about it anymore..
It's only making urself feel not worth it... Thats not whats supposed to happen rite?
I hanged out with a friend, and we watched some movies, and I worried ALL the time cuz i didnt spoke.. afterwards i sent him a message on his phone and he said.. Sasje.. U know I care about u, So that doesnt matter at all.
When people care about u it doesnt matter.. They even begin to like that fact
Cuz it's the way u are.
But ofc.. U can change!
Just try to do something.. when someone is with u.. To have a little distraction

Take Care

 

[dead24]

this is one of my biggest fears. thats why i cant make friends anymore, i just avoid every single one of em.

 

[eggpod]

Just look at it this way. The other guy was probably thinking the same things and trying to look comfortable while thinking of something to say as well. It sounds like he didn't come up with anything either, so he was probably more worried about his silence than your own.

 

[mrb]

well he didnt speak either so i wouldnt worry about it ..... if he wanted to talk he would have started talking about something else .......

 

[writer75]

Yes, those awkward moments of silence are VERY uncomfortable. Unfortunately for me, I have quite a few of them, ::, I never seem to know what to say. I wouldn't let it bother you too much though, everyone seems to have them,it's just with us with SP it's alot more distressing.

 

[recluse]

I always blame myself for these awkward moments, as if it's my responsibilty alone to entertain. This is why i spend all my time avoiding people apart from the necessity to at work.

One thing that bugs me is how the hell do people seem to be able to make conversation out of nothing? I always think that i have nothing interesting to say so i think ''why bother?!''.....I also often think of something to say but am too afraid to say it.

 

[Fighter86]

I'm really sorry to hear what happened Kitana, I hope you won't make the same customer again, if it helps. I hate the long awkward pause as well, that's why I make it a point to avoid bumping into classmates/colleagues in the buses/trains because we have nothing to talk about after the first few sentences.

 

[Why]

yea i hate those lulz but they happen to normal ppl too

perfect example

if i see an acquantice on bus, i sit by them and we do the usual small talk but then the convo dies and we both sorta just stare ahead. Can't get away from each other either

 

[coyote]

Yes, I have a problem with filling the awkward silences, too.

Something I've been trying that was recommended by my girlfriend - and has been mentioned elsewhere on this forum - is to ask people questions about themselves.

A lot of people looove to talk about themselves - so when you hit the pause, ask them a question, and let 'em run. Then you don't have to think of something to say.

Listen to what they say, and then ask them another question about something they brought up, and so on...

 

[SoulSeeker]

I cant stand awkward silences..i do anything to avoid them, usually making the situation even worse by blurting something random out..that doesnt make any sense to the conversation. Or i have to explain what i just said..because it's soo off topic. You got to laugh though...those situations can be so tense at times..and the sheer relief when it's over is heaven

I dont necessarily let these moments get to me..it's just something that happens sometimes..and i just laugh it off really.

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

Yesssssss I totally relate to that.
And Coyote, I do that sometimes, I ask the person questions about themself, so thats a good suggestion..because before you know it the person is jabbering away. (But sometimes that can be a bad thing lol)

 

[mummylala]

I hate it myself but its one of things that happens to everyone, my hubby could talk the leg of a stool and it even happens with him..

I never let it bother me that much any more to be honest because as some people have already said if the other person/persons involved wanted conversation they would have talked too