terrified to go into stores?

[Kalinova17]

anybody else with this? i WILL NOT go into a store if nobody else is in there except the sales associates. my heart starts beating fast if i want something, like clothing for example, that are in a store with no customers currently in there. everytime i do go in i rush right out within 30 seconds if the sales person says "hi". it doesn't matter if they are kind. I go into full on panic mode. Because of this i rarely buy what i want! this is so crazy and ironic because i get feelings of hatred, yes hatred i'm ashamed to admit and feelings of exteme agitation if there ARE people around me. Its such a paradox. I feel as if i'm a whack job.

 

[Ads7800]

That's a shame, Kalinova17.

I used to have the same issue. I hated going shopping, especially in Sydney city. I felt that everyone was watching and laughing deep down inside.

These days I can just walk in and have very minimal attacks of anxiety.

I have found that practice makes perfect. What helped me was to not give in to my mind telling me I was being laughed at. Instead of believing it completely I began to look around at the other people to see if they were actually looking at me in a negative way. What I slowly discovered over time was that most people in the store didn't even seem to care and only took notice of me because I was staring at them for too long.

My only advice is to try to walk into shops that have a few customers and then keep gradually going into shops that have more people until you can reach the goal of walking into a popular shop that is packed with people. And while you do this, look around and really observe whether people are actually laughing or looking at you. Don't just believe the inner voice, because it is a liar.

It sounds difficult because it is difficult. Just keep going out there. I would hate to see you miss out on what you want because the store had other customers. You deserve better than that.

All the best.

 

[Broken_Memory]

I hate going into stores where the cashiers are fairly young people. I feel so uncomfortable in high-fashion stores, make-up stores and places like that where I feel people will judge me because I'm not the fashion type.

I think I feel best in grocery stores. I have become a lot more comfortable in big stores where there are lots of places to hide lol.

 

[Richey]

High fashion stores are very intimidating, you walk in and there around 5-10 young super-fit looking dolled up polyanas trying to get you to give them attention so they get the "sale" ..i like their optimisim, but i can't imagine being on that level of the social ladder, you have to be so charming and charasmatic and hip that its like another world, they arn't your ordinary everyday folk, they are the people who have thousands of nightclubbing photos laying around of themselves in half naked outfits littered across their bedrooms and up on their myspace accounts with the long toothy grins . ...i really don't crave that sort of extreme end of the social spectrum, i'd like to find a happy medium of solitude and a social life and feeling comfortable with myself ..

i went through periods of total avoidance of shopping centres because at the moment we are going through a sort of fashion and trend revolution that to walk in there looking even remotely average makes me stick out like a sore thumb, everyone has the "punk", "skater" tight jeans" ..styled hair look, girls and guys who are young, i dont have a problem with it as when i'm bothered i can look that way, but everyone is doing it all the time, people everywhere looking classy is the new casual, i walk in wearing a normal t-shirt and black jeans i feel like i'm living in the nineties and i'm not "with it" so to speak...

there just seems to be alot more "good looking, in shape" people around then you'd expect and its easy to feel inadequate and self conscious while being at shopping centers these days especially even if there isnt anything wrong with the way you or me looks

A: presenting yourself in terms of looks
B: your conversational aptitude

both are pushed to their limits at shopping centers while in the company of so many people ..

 

[Predacon]

Depends on the size of the store, if its a big one with plenty of space I don't have a problem. If its fairly small and I'm the only one in there I can't help but feel that they are staring at me, not because I'm doing anything weird just the fact that I'm the only one there and I'm their only customer.

 

[Masquerade23]

Yup, stores are always better if I'm with someone else. When I'm alone, I tend to feel like all my actions are being watched and that I look suspicious. Its annoying but it kind of makes shopping more exciting. lol.
The worst though is paying at the cash register and waiting for them to give you your change. I don't know what to do with myself. Should I watch them take out the change or look at my wallet? I usually just tend to look around at the cheap stuff they sell by the register. :?

 

[Zarrix]

I hate walking in though the door with the security/ Welcoming people there that check your bags. Because i look nervous and get a walk disturbance, im paranoid that they think im going in/ have stolen something >_<

Once im in there, it depends on the day. Sometimes im fine, other times I cant pick anything up because I fear that people will judge me based on what I brought. I also have to pay extra attention to the people whom I cross paths with, as I hate meeting anyone I know (except prehaps my best friends) in public.

I hate it when its a young female serving at the counter. I tend to choose the ones with the geeky males/ Old people behind them. I will very easily blush if I choose a younger person.

 

[villacjs]

This is where SA is really hurting me. I'm 22 and I cant go into some stores because of fear of doing something stupid and therefore blushing. To overcome SA I really need to do something about it because it is at the avoidance stage. The way I am going to approach it is to go into a store which I usually fear armed with my meds. I reckon 2mg Xanax and a few Inderal pills will help (I also take Effexor-XR and Zyprexa).

 

[xlincslassx]

I feel exactly the same i actually avoid going into shops or doing anything by myself cus im scared of doing something stupid and blushing or even something bad happening its horrible and i do try to practice and push myself but it doesnt seem to get better.

 

[ripewithdecay]

Some days I have no problem going into stores, or going to a shopping mall. But then there are 'high-anxiety' days where i'll be terrified. Usually I pre-plan what it is that i'm after in the store and then walk quickly in there, grab it, pay for it, and get out. Usually this means I miss out on other stuff I might want because I don't just relax and take my time.

Line-ups suck. It's just a big 10 minute analyze-everything session. I especially get thrown off if the cashier says something like "Hi, how are you?"
If i was honest i'd say "Well you're making me super nervous because you're taking so long to get my change, and I really just want to get the hell outta here!"

I also have a fear of debit card/credit card transactions. Too many times i've been neck high in nervousness and some ridiculous error occurs with my card and I have to say something like "Err.... i'll come back tommorow... don't worry about it"

 

[Lotrsfan]

I'll go into stores. But i like it best if i'm going into a store with someone (like my mum) than on my own because i have someone to talk too about the products/clothes etc. Also i like it when i have someone come to the till with me too, sometimes my mum doesn't come to the till, she stands away and i'm like :lol: lol but i do it.

I feel most nervous going into clothes stores specially if it's one with all the latest fashions in and lots of youngsters dressed all nice or weird because i don't dress like them. But lol i dress to be comfortable really. I go into these lastest fashion stores to look for particular tops i like or jeans i like not the ones everyone else is wearing.

 

[Esme]

I have a similar situation. I can go shopping at the mall with my friend or my mom and sister most of the time, but sometimes i cant. I just recently got my license, and so my parents have asked me on a couple of occasions to pick something up from the store, and i went alone. the first time i was so awkward, shaking and blushing, and i know the people working there noticed, they gave me funny looks. Then i went another time and the same happened, only i was a little used to it...this will be bad if it becomes a pattern. How am i going to cope once i leave home?!

I have noticed that being preocupied with something else always helps ease the tension. like if im angry at someone or worried about something else other than my 'panic attacks', they don't seem to happen.

 

[princess_haru]

The worst though is paying at the cash register and waiting for them to give you your change. I don't know what to do with myself. Should I watch them take out the change or look at my wallet? I usually just tend to look around at the cheap stuff they sell by the register. :?

Haha, that's exactly like me! I always get really nervous and don't know what to do with myself when the cashier is getting my change, especially if there's a queue of people behind me watching. I tend to pretend I'm really interested in the bargain crap on the counter too, lol.

I also hate standing in queues, trying to look casual and comfortable like everyone else does, and feeling like there's a big flashing sign above my head saying "crazy person!" :roll:

The worst thing is having a security person watch me while I'm browsing. I know they're just doing their job and keeping an eye on everyone, but as soon as one's near me I get nervous and start wondering if I look suspicious. My worst shopping nightmare would be to be stopped and searched 8O

 

[toothpastekisses]

..................

 

[misternobody]

I hate having to go places alone and, it always bothers me so bad when I am in the store and, I just feel real nervous and I am sure I have that suspicious look and,I just cannot help it that I have this look, its just cause I am so nervous and everything . So always being nervous when I am out makes me have some kind of a suspicious look

And how about when you go to leave the store and not having bought anything, and you feel real nervous and feel they all think you have stole something? This really is upsetting for me because anytime I am leaving, most always I have to go thru where the cashiers are and, so walking past them makes me feel that they think I have stolen something. I almost feel to choke I am so nervous and get all hot and almost sweat

One of the main things I enjoy when at the stores is looking at DVDs and, if I do buy a DVD, I ALWAYS have to find a perfect looking copy, so I stand there looking at 2 or 3 copies of a title, and hold it in a way so the light shines on it so I can see if any are perfect without any kind of markings. And so, when i do this ,I know I am being watched and of course feeling this way makes me feel all nervous. I can just imagine the cameras up on the ceilings are aimed at me and the guys in the security room are sitting there watching what I am doing .

The thing is tho, even tho I do this anytime I buy a DVD, I always prove them wrong if they are thinking I am trying to steal a DVD .

But anyways, I really wish I was accepted like all the others that are in the store, it always seems to me that they are not looked at at all, and that its just ME that the workers and security people are watching

This life I have sure rots to high heaven

 

[jccool]

Hi there yes i to get this way when i have to enter the shop and have to talk or hand over money to a sales assistant. As i have very bad social anxiety.

 

[recluse]

Going into a shop is ok for me, but the worst part is when i have to ask for something. Also i hate it when an assistant asks me ''can i help you?'' when i want peace and quiet to look at stuff.