stupid comments by family members
- Thread starter Falkor
- Start date
DespairSoul
Well-known member
Well Saskia, negative comments of your closes member which u love, can made "damage". Isn't good because:
1) Negative comments aren't good for your steps forwards it's will take u just backwards, and will damage therapy too.
2) I know they see you from they own views which are false created on "facts" which they saw till now, take some time to show them reality "person which u really are deep inside"
Hun, try tell them this how they talk to much negative and isn't good for therapy, they should support u on positive level and notice your steps forward and don't go to past, or u will stay at the same point where u was, if they love u and want good for u no more dwelling what u did wrong!
I know is very hard if someone constantly critic u..is moving u no where! I hope they will understand soon the right conversation with u and support u the most as they can.
Thumbs up, Take care about your self and maybe also try talk to your therapist if she can little talk to your family about it?
Your D_S (*-*)
1) Negative comments aren't good for your steps forwards it's will take u just backwards, and will damage therapy too.
2) I know they see you from they own views which are false created on "facts" which they saw till now, take some time to show them reality "person which u really are deep inside"
Hun, try tell them this how they talk to much negative and isn't good for therapy, they should support u on positive level and notice your steps forward and don't go to past, or u will stay at the same point where u was, if they love u and want good for u no more dwelling what u did wrong!
I know is very hard if someone constantly critic u..is moving u no where! I hope they will understand soon the right conversation with u and support u the most as they can.
Thumbs up, Take care about your self and maybe also try talk to your therapist if she can little talk to your family about it?
Your D_S (*-*)
miss_amy
Well-known member
I would use these comments to boost me in to a 'I'll show you' attitude. Prove them all wrong. Show them you can handle school and all the other things by doing them and doing well despite your fears. You seem to have the way forward planned out by moving out and attending school. Focus on these and look forward to the day you can tell them 'I did it'.
eso
Well-known member
I hate that kind of thing too. I understand your feeling exactly. I'm much older now but when I was high school/college, I got words like this a lot.
Even today in my mid 30s, my parents don't talk to me like this anymore because they know I am successful now. But my relatives who haven't seen me in a long time say things like that. Even though I am very successful, just because I don't have X or Y or haven't done something they think is important, or they think I'm still really young for some reason (even though obviously 30s is no longer college aged), they say this to me. Like what the hell am i supposed to do?
But anyway, because I have a lot of confidence, I don't even care what they say anymore. I know I am better than them. So that's how you beat it. Because this problem might never go away.
Well I hate to say you're too young but if you're 18 don't worry too much yet. You have a lot of time and just move forward at your own pace and you'll be okay. You're already having plans to prove them wrong, just be patient.
All the stuff you have accomplished that you said here, I had not done anything remotely close to that when I was your age. No relationships, definitely couldn't try to sing in a band, etc. That's impressive, really I think you will have beaten your problems sooner than you think.
Even today in my mid 30s, my parents don't talk to me like this anymore because they know I am successful now. But my relatives who haven't seen me in a long time say things like that. Even though I am very successful, just because I don't have X or Y or haven't done something they think is important, or they think I'm still really young for some reason (even though obviously 30s is no longer college aged), they say this to me. Like what the hell am i supposed to do?
But anyway, because I have a lot of confidence, I don't even care what they say anymore. I know I am better than them. So that's how you beat it. Because this problem might never go away.
Well I hate to say you're too young but if you're 18 don't worry too much yet. You have a lot of time and just move forward at your own pace and you'll be okay. You're already having plans to prove them wrong, just be patient.
All the stuff you have accomplished that you said here, I had not done anything remotely close to that when I was your age. No relationships, definitely couldn't try to sing in a band, etc. That's impressive, really I think you will have beaten your problems sooner than you think.
Falkor
1
Thanks miss_amy, thanks for your words!! I'll show them that i'm able to do it! it's a long process but i will prove them unfortunately
Next week I have an appointment with the mentrix of school, I have to face the class too, so I have the chance to prove myself! ::: and soon I'll be participating the classes myself. The mentrix is gonna show me about computer science, he wants to talk with me about the lessons, if I'm interested in taking classes,and want to have a job into this direction in the future, I decided this, and my school counselor planned a meeting for next week, Yay
this Friday I will check out other classes, about studying admin. but I think Computer Science is way cooler .
So two appointments on the run =)
I hope there will be a place soon for moving out , So I have the freedom and I can be around housemates, that will be def a good start =)
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LonelyWonders
Well-known member
Your grand/parents are just like mine.. They don't know what they're talking about at all. They focus on your outside image, when thats not always the truth. They're just stupid and don't know what they're doing as parents apparently if they're saying things like that. Just do what you have to in order to get yourself on your feet, and for got sake find somebody better to talk to about things! Somebody who's not going to be negative and bring you down. Somebody to boost you up, make you feel good. ::
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Phoenixx
Well-known member
I've gotten stupid comments from my family too. It sucks because you expect your family to be supportive, not insulting or degrading. My brother and my mom have insulted me so much, especially in the past. I would get called "stupid" if I made a mistake. They used to call me "ugly" frequently growing up, they don't do it so much now, but it still doesn't keep me from thinking about it. I also get called "gay" because I've never had a boyfriend and I freely express my support of gay people and marriage.
^ This is what I've been thinking of all year. All those insults family have told me definitely gives me the "I'll show you attitude". Once I'm in college, I plan on proving them wrong.