Sometimes I wonder if the rest of the world is wrong or is it just me...

[Dark angel]

Sometimes I wonder if the rest of the world is wrong or is me who does not deserve to be part of this society. I dont want to sound like a pessimist(which I am most of the time) but here is the only place I can vent and feel like you guys can understand me. I feel like the rest of the world is changing but Im the only one who is not really evolving. One of my best friends is getting married in 3 months and the other one is about to have a child but Im still in the same place never changing, never moving. Now, I heard that other girl who also studied with me is also getting hitched and she is much younger than I am. In my case, I cannot even get someone else to like me and I've never been in a relationship before. I dont like the fact that in order to survive in this world or feel "normal" you gotta follow those rules. Go to college, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids and "live happy ever after". Why? Why is it not possible to suffice with just me and my own little world. Why can't I get just a piece of the happiness everyone has and I feel miserable day after day? Sometimes I can bear it by ignoring everything that is around me and ignoring the fact that I am a sore loser.But others, it just get to me. That moment of realization that you probably wont get as far as you always thought. And that is where the worst part is. My family thinks I am this marvelous and intelligent human being because during my college years I was always studying and reading and didnt do much else. But the reality is that I did that in a way of escaping everyone and everything else. That way I didnt have to deal with other people. I didnt have to confront the real world or try to fit in. It was just me and my books most of the time. What they dont really know is that I avoided a lot of stuff that right now Im regretting big time. I couldn't give an oral presentation without stuttering so I avoided taking classes that involved doing so. I didnt participate in things that I enjoyed and that were very important in order to move my career forward because of that irrational fear, but they do not know that part. I didnt even finish with exceptional grades, I mean, I had good grades but not exactly exceptional. Im average in every sense of the word. Im average looking, my intelligence is average(and Im been kind with myself here 'cause sometimes I feel dumber than dirt) my social skills are average. Sometimes I like to think that everything will look better for me in the future but I just dont see it. I feel like my life will always stay the same. And if that happens then I dont see the point on keep on going...

 

[jaim38]

You're not alone. I also have never been in any relationship and don't care about getting married or having kids. Why get married or have kids? The divorce rate is around 50% and kids are a handful to take care of (emotionally, psychologically, financially, etc). I also suck at giving oral presentations because I pause a lot (unless I memorize a script and practice beforehand). I am also average in every way except for my social skills, but it could have been worse (I could be born below average), so I'm grateful to be born average at the very least. I think we should be more grateful for what we have at this very moment rather than sulk over what we don't have.

 

[truffleshuffle]

Sometimes I wonder if the rest of the world is wrong or is me who does not deserve to be part of this society. I dont want to sound like a pessimist(which I am most of the time) but here is the only place I can vent and feel like you guys can understand me. I feel like the rest of the world is changing but Im the only one who is not really evolving. One of my best friends is getting married in 3 months and the other one is about to have a child but Im still in the same place never changing, never moving. Now, I heard that other girl who also studied with me is also getting hitched and she is much younger than I am. In my case, I cannot even get someone else to like me and I've never been in a relationship before. I dont like the fact that in order to survive in this world or feel "normal" you gotta follow those rules. Go to college, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids and "live happy ever after". Why? Why is it not possible to suffice with just me and my own little world. Why can't I get just a piece of the happiness everyone has and I feel miserable day after day? Sometimes I can bear it by ignoring everything that is around me and ignoring the fact that I am a sore loser.But others, it just get to me. That moment of realization that you probably wont get as far as you always thought. And that is where the worst part is. My family thinks I am this marvelous and intelligent human being because during my college years I was always studying and reading and didnt do much else. But the reality is that I did that in a way of escaping everyone and everything else. That way I didnt have to deal with other people. I didnt have to confront the real world or try to fit in. It was just me and my books most of the time. What they dont really know is that I avoided a lot of stuff that right now Im regretting big time. I couldn't give an oral presentation without stuttering so I avoided taking classes that involved doing so. I didnt participate in things that I enjoyed and that were very important in order to move my career forward because of that irrational fear, but they do not know that part. I didnt even finish with exceptional grades, I mean, I had good grades but not exactly exceptional. Im average in every sense of the word. Im average looking, my intelligence is average(and Im been kind with myself here 'cause sometimes I feel dumber than dirt) my social skills are average. Sometimes I like to think that everything will look better for me in the future but I just dont see it. I feel like my life will always stay the same. And if that happens then I dont see the point on keep on going...

I know exsactly how you feel I have some of the same feelings and problmes you do although I would not mind a relationhip or having kids. You are not alone here.

 

[madmike]

I sometimes get depressed by these thing as well. I basically try to remember that all these social conventions (relationships, marriage, kids etc) are actually supposed to bring joy into your life, not make you miserable. If you're happy without them, then carry on being happy and don't be ashamed. Maybe in time you'll realize the value of those things yourself and focus all your energy on going after them. Until then, try not to let it put pressure on you

Sometimes I wonder if the rest of the world is wrong or is me who does not deserve to be part of this society. I dont want to sound like a pessimist(which I am most of the time) but here is the only place I can vent and feel like you guys can understand me. I feel like the rest of the world is changing but Im the only one who is not really evolving. One of my best friends is getting married in 3 months and the other one is about to have a child but Im still in the same place never changing, never moving. Now, I heard that other girl who also studied with me is also getting hitched and she is much younger than I am. In my case, I cannot even get someone else to like me and I've never been in a relationship before. I dont like the fact that in order to survive in this world or feel "normal" you gotta follow those rules. Go to college, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids and "live happy ever after". Why? Why is it not possible to suffice with just me and my own little world. Why can't I get just a piece of the happiness everyone has and I feel miserable day after day? Sometimes I can bear it by ignoring everything that is around me and ignoring the fact that I am a sore loser.But others, it just get to me. That moment of realization that you probably wont get as far as you always thought. And that is where the worst part is. My family thinks I am this marvelous and intelligent human being because during my college years I was always studying and reading and didnt do much else. But the reality is that I did that in a way of escaping everyone and everything else. That way I didnt have to deal with other people. I didnt have to confront the real world or try to fit in. It was just me and my books most of the time. What they dont really know is that I avoided a lot of stuff that right now Im regretting big time. I couldn't give an oral presentation without stuttering so I avoided taking classes that involved doing so. I didnt participate in things that I enjoyed and that were very important in order to move my career forward because of that irrational fear, but they do not know that part. I didnt even finish with exceptional grades, I mean, I had good grades but not exactly exceptional. Im average in every sense of the word. Im average looking, my intelligence is average(and Im been kind with myself here 'cause sometimes I feel dumber than dirt) my social skills are average. Sometimes I like to think that everything will look better for me in the future but I just dont see it. I feel like my life will always stay the same. And if that happens then I dont see the point on keep on going...

 

[madmike]

Sometimes I wonder if the rest of the world is wrong or is me who does not deserve to be part of this society. I dont want to sound like a pessimist(which I am most of the time) but here is the only place I can vent and feel like you guys can understand me. I feel like the rest of the world is changing but Im the only one who is not really evolving. One of my best friends is getting married in 3 months and the other one is about to have a child but Im still in the same place never changing, never moving. Now, I heard that other girl who also studied with me is also getting hitched and she is much younger than I am. In my case, I cannot even get someone else to like me and I've never been in a relationship before. I dont like the fact that in order to survive in this world or feel "normal" you gotta follow those rules. Go to college, graduate, get a job, get married, have kids and "live happy ever after". Why? Why is it not possible to suffice with just me and my own little world. Why can't I get just a piece of the happiness everyone has and I feel miserable day after day? Sometimes I can bear it by ignoring everything that is around me and ignoring the fact that I am a sore loser.But others, it just get to me. That moment of realization that you probably wont get as far as you always thought. And that is where the worst part is. My family thinks I am this marvelous and intelligent human being because during my college years I was always studying and reading and didnt do much else. But the reality is that I did that in a way of escaping everyone and everything else. That way I didnt have to deal with other people. I didnt have to confront the real world or try to fit in. It was just me and my books most of the time. What they dont really know is that I avoided a lot of stuff that right now Im regretting big time. I couldn't give an oral presentation without stuttering so I avoided taking classes that involved doing so. I didnt participate in things that I enjoyed and that were very important in order to move my career forward because of that irrational fear, but they do not know that part. I didnt even finish with exceptional grades, I mean, I had good grades but not exactly exceptional. Im average in every sense of the word. Im average looking, my intelligence is average(and Im been kind with myself here 'cause sometimes I feel dumber than dirt) my social skills are average. Sometimes I like to think that everything will look better for me in the future but I just dont see it. I feel like my life will always stay the same. And if that happens then I dont see the point on keep on going...

By the way, I was the same at university. Just used the library as a place to escape to from the rest of the world. And ended up with really good grades making my parents think I was this fantastically intelligent human being (doesn't fool many other people though heh). I wondered afterwards whether or not to do a masters, but decided I didn't want to be institutionalized any longer. I needed to face up to the world, realize who I truly am. I think I'm getting there, little by little... even though to most people it just looks like I'm not doing anything, don't go out much, don't do much, spend a lot of time alone in my room. But I think I just need this time by myself to get my head straight, and eventually I'll realize what I want and find the energy to go after it. I think it'll come to you as well, if you just stop feeling guilty about where you are now/pressurized to do all these things that are considered normal.

 

[truffleshuffle]

By the way, I was the same at university. Just used the library as a place to escape to from the rest of the world. And ended up with really good grades making my parents think I was this fantastically intelligent human being (doesn't fool many other people though heh). I wondered afterwards whether or not to do a masters, but decided I didn't want to be institutionalized any longer. I needed to face up to the world, realize who I truly am. I think I'm getting there, little by little... even though to most people it just looks like I'm not doing anything, don't go out much, don't do much, spend a lot of time alone in my room. But I think I just need this time by myself to get my head straight, and eventually I'll realize what I want and find the energy to go after it. I think it'll come to you as well, if you just stop feeling guilty about where you are now/pressurized to do all these things that are considered normal.

At least you guys went to collage I have always regretting not doing it although I didn;t really have a chance to.

 

[madmike]

At least you guys went to collage I have always regretting not doing it although I didn;t really have a chance to.

I had some fun at university and have, as a result, some qualifications which might make me more employable. But I also feel like I missed out on some life skills. Four years can be a lifetime, especially at such a young age. I have a lot of catch up to do, but I think by not putting too much pressure on myself and being happy where I am I can make it...