Sometimes, I just cant take a joke!

[Bring-me-to-life]

Hi, im a student in secondary school/ high school. basically my friends they like to joke around alot and i like being with them. but right now, im just having problems with me finding about myself, cos im trying to be myself, but i just cant. I know they're just joking around sometimes, but i just dont feel myself and dont laugh which they're getting frustrated with.

Does anyone else have any experiences like this or any advice?

Thanks, Bring-Me-To-Life

 

[anniebumbum]

Its normal. Sooner you'll get over it. Dont worry if the you dont think the jokes funny, then its not. They'll get fustrated but thats you soon theyll get used to it or youll make freinds who ACTUALLY make funny jokes. Sometimes i dont know whether people are joking or not either unless their smiling or something. Dont worry it wont affect you much.

 

[anniebumbum]

about the finding yourself bit. Keep trying people never do find their TRUE seles coz were changing personalities all the time. You should just do what always feels right to you.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

When I'm around the one & only "friend" I sort-of have (which is very, very, very rare-- I haven't seen her in a year or longer), a lot of times she says things that I just don't think are funny at all. We have completely different ideas of what's funny & what's not. She loves to make fun of random people she sees & thinks she's hysterical & I can't deal with people getting made fun of because I know what it's like. It's hard being around her when she's expecting me to laugh, but I'm not because I don't think what she's said is funny. I would just tell you to not force yourself to laugh at things that you don't think are funny. Everyone one has a different sense of humor & it's okay if yours is not the same as your friends.

 

[Anthem of the Angels]

I can take a joke... a whole lot of them and not get offended, even laugh at it if it's good. There are just a few painful things I can't withstand jokes about, and if somehow they hit the right spot I'd just put on a fake smile and pretend everything's ok.

 

[Bama_Heath]

I have a good friend who struggles with something like this. We joke around with him a lot about just random stupid things to where we are borderline just aggravating him really. We are never mean spirited but It just is kind of addicting to keep joking because of the reactions he gives us. If he gets mad we try to explain that we are just messing around cause I mean we never say hurtful things to him. We just joke and pick with him because we like him. I guess kind of how when you were little kids you always heard that if a boy pulled a girls pony tail or something that it meant he liked her. He has explained to us that is just hits home as bad memories for him because he was picked on or bullied in school. So most of the time now we have learned when to tone it down and back off a little. When friends rib you and pick though it really is just because they like you....most of the time anyway...unless ones' friends are just jerks.

 

[Richey]

it takes alot of confidence in ones self to actually talk like that to people, i mean jokingly pick the other person. this is the sign of really well practiced spontaniety to be able to just fire away come-back after come-back to someone elses sarcastic remark at you. there are alot of times this happens to me at work i just don't know how to respond quick enough so its always quite awkward or i'll laugh and say nothing, some people can just think on the spot really well, perhaps they are just socially tougher and more developed. ..

there are two people who work next to me who can just fire away comeback after comeback that its almost sickening how well they pull it off ...i feel they are tuned into some different dimension that's how well they talk and respond to each other...i sometimes have to leave the room because its overwhelming..

 

[Luthien]

Oh man, I had MAJOR issues with this when I was your age. I would try to get in on the jokes (which were mostly pretty mean to everyone involved) but I would just end up getting sad and taking things personally. It was so hard to laugh at things when I was too busy worrying about what people thought of me to notice what they were even saying! I struggled through the years, mostly because I just cannot seem to get down with the teasing jokes, they just seem cruel to me. Finally I accepted that it wasn't for me and the problem went away! Once I accepted that I couldn't handle the "mean" jokes, if a friend made one about me, I would make a sad face or say "your so mean!", try to go along with the joking while also not reciprocating the teasing. My friends totally got that and stopped teasing me. Now (I'm 26 now, so people are WAY more understanding and kind then when I was 16) my friends don't make jokes like that. Those jokes aren't even that funny. Me and my sister and my boyfriend CONSTANTLY make jokes and crack each other up, but we are total dorks and our jokes are awful puns and clever humor, and if it ever goes too far, we are quick to apologize because we love and care for each other. It's hard to find people like this when you're a teen, but know that the kids around you will probably grow into nice, respectful people someday. (hopefully for them!)

 

[Richey]

then how do people like you have SA issues? if you can be that witty and spontanious and jokey then surely that can be applied to alot of situations, i don't understand because the reason i'm here is because of shyness and struggling to do exactly what you mentioned above.

 

[Luthien]

then how do people like you have SA issues? if you can be that witty and spontanious and jokey then surely that can be applied to alot of situations, i don't understand because the reason i'm here is because of shyness and struggling to do exactly what you mentioned above.

I can't speak for anyone else like me, but the reason I have SA is because I am completely fake and and frantic when I'm in social situations. I am a master at hiding it (I think) and I'm able to appear relaxed and social, but inside my head it's like a circus, a rodeo and a gun show are all trying to happen in the tiny little space in there. It makes me so anxious that I just don't leave my house. The only people I see are my sister and my boyfriend and sometimes I can't even handle being around them! When I'm around people, the stuff in my head and the way I act is all completely compulsory. I sometimes don't notice that I'm getting completely overwhelmed until it's too late and I need to separate myself from people or have a panic attack.