Some ways that my SA affects me.

[CPA23]

I feel you bro...right up to the love of death metal \m/ \m/


I can't stand to have anyone around me while I'm one the computer. I'm not doing anything....but just having someone nearby watching drives me up a wall.

If my wife and I go to a restaurant I am picky about sitting. It must be a booth, I can't have anyone behind me, and I must be able to see the door.

Actually I don't like people behind me period.

I absolutely hate typing on the computer when someone is around. This is especially true if someone is behind me. I am usually a good at typing, but i get so self-conscious, that I end up making a lot of typos. I could be in the same room with someone on the opposite end and I could still get self-conscious. It's like I could feel people watching me type. (Even though they are not).

I also don't like talking to someone in close proximity. It just drives me crazy. Please give me a little space, I can hear you just fine!!!

I also hate being by myself in public and walking towards a group of people. It's like I don't know where to fix my eyes. So I end up looking left, right, up down, blinking my eyes, etc.

I hate going to wal-mart by myself, especially when it's busy. I absolutely hate going when it's busy, so I usually try to go late at night. People have told me that I walk fast. I just want to get in, get what I need and get out fast!!

 

[Tiercel]

I absolutely hate typing on the computer when someone is around. This is especially true if someone is behind me. I am usually a good at typing, but i get so self-conscious, that I end up making a lot of typos. I could be in the same room with someone on the opposite end and I could still get self-conscious. It's like I could feel people watching me type. (Even though they are not).

That's why I mostly visit this site in the middle of the night. At least then I know that nobody will see my typing and ask what I'm doing. I mean, how the hell will I explain that I'm on a social anxiety forum?

On a slightly related note, once the hot weather breaks I'll be fixing up my sister's old room. I'm half tempted to move my computer up there, but half afraid that I'll be isolating myself from my family. Still, it will give me a better view of the bird feeders, and I'll finally not be sharing a room with my pig of a brother....

 

[Kiwong]

I have trouble exchanging things by hand esepcially if that person is wearing a ring. I fear that by looking at the ring people will think I am shallow and accuse me of hitting on them. This has happened of course and I have been called names as a result, which really causes me major emotional distress.

I am unable to talk to people wearing rings without being extremely anxious. I get anxous if I see someone wearing a ring even on TV.

I have trouble reading on aeroplanes because if I face the occupant in the next seat I am scared they will think I am looking at their legs.

I can't talk to people at times, I can barely look at them withou looking away quickly or getting anxious. I am scared they will think I am strange by the way I am looking at them.

I used to be scared of people walking behind me, and I would start to walk funny. As an adolescent I was followed by bullies who teased my walk.

The physical manifestation of this anxiety was a series of panic attacks I had. Last one was 2007, I have learned to control these panic attacks.

Anxiety has diminished my life in so many ways. I have stopped going to neswagents, chemists, service stations, shopping centres, restuarants because of anxiety. I have been called names, made fun of, been distrusted, accused of being a sleazebag (that one hurts most of all). Putting myself out there in the world is a never ending battle.

I've never had friends, never had an intimate relationship, always lived alone.