social situation you fear

kihira

kihira

1
Funerals, because of the relatives I cant remember the names of and the sad emotions. Socialising with work colleagues, I dont like revealing personal stuff at work, I prefer to keep work and home seperate.
 
Niteowl

Niteowl

Well-known member
Having to work in a group. In my college the majority were always rather work-shy, so having to commit to working on a project with them was a very uncomfortable experience for more than a single reason. I liked to work in my way, I liked to spend break times working and they were quite the opposite - half the time most of them couldn't even wait until break times to go out to town, making some excuse about having to buy some materials. The rest of them would take a DVD to the computer rooms to hide out and watch.

So not only was it a case of being unable to share my ideas and progress with them but I kept on getting ahead and having to wait ages while they caught up. I always took on extra work to make up for it but even then I had to wait around, so in the second year when we had a group project, I insisted that I didn't want to do it with other people - I would do it all myself. As I predicted, I finished at about the same time that the groups of four did. I will not be wanting a job that requires group work.

At the very least, if there was no social anxiety, I wouldn't have ever worked through break and lunch times. It's also why I never took a packed lunch since year six or went to the bathroom in school/college since year three.

I also don't like using the phone when other people are around, which is the main reason I don't like getting birthday calls, because my mum will be right next to me. If ever I had to call my dad or something when I was out, I would move to somewhere where there were no people in sight. I don't like people to know anything about me in real-life, so I avoid any situations that they can find things out from.
 
Dj SL

Dj SL

Well-known member
Socialising with work colleagues, I dont like revealing personal stuff at work, I prefer to keep work and home seperate.[/QUOTE]

Socializing with work colleagues

Then

I don't like revealing personal stuff at work

What then? What's going to happen if you reveal personal stuff at work?
 
Dj SL

Dj SL

Well-known member
James_ said:
Having to work in a group. In my college the majority were always rather work-shy, so having to commit to working on a project with them was a very uncomfortable experience for more than a single reason. I liked to work in my way, I liked to spend break times working and they were quite the opposite - half the time most of them couldn't even wait until break times to go out to town, making some excuse about having to buy some materials. The rest of them would take a DVD to the computer rooms to hide out and watch.

So not only was it a case of being unable to share my ideas and progress with them but I kept on getting ahead and having to wait ages while they caught up. I always took on extra work to make up for it but even then I had to wait around, so in the second year when we had a group project, I insisted that I didn't want to do it with other people - I would do it all myself. As I predicted, I finished at about the same time that the groups of four did. I will not be wanting a job that requires group work.

At the very least, if there was no social anxiety, I wouldn't have ever worked through break and lunch times. It's also why I never took a packed lunch since year six or went to the bathroom in school/college since year three.

I also don't like using the phone when other people are around, which is the main reason I don't like getting birthday calls, because my mum will be right next to me. If ever I had to call my dad or something when I was out, I would move to somewhere where there were no people in sight. I don't like people to know anything about me in real-life, so I avoid any situations that they can find things out from.
Click to expand...

fear: using the phone when other people are around you

What's going to happen next?
 
Niteowl

Niteowl

Well-known member
Dj SL said:
fear: using the phone when other people are around you

What's going to happen next?
Click to expand...

Well it ties in with what I said about not liking people to know anything about me in real-life. They can hear little things from the conversation. Even when I know that they don't care, the fear is still there. The other day, I finally went on Skype with a friend and some of his friends, and I got a call from my dad. I wouldn't have minded, but there were strangers in the Skype call too. I don't know in hindsight why I didn't mute the microphone, I guess I forgot that I could. I went downstairs, and I shut myself outside before answering, and even then I didn't feel quite right about it.
 
alanj

alanj

Well-known member
Not too fond of: 1. At a wedding when you are having the meal at a big round table with people you only half know and then later when the disco dancing starts. 2.Offering your sympathies at funerals and especially if you go back to the house for drinks afterwards.
 
WeirdyMcGee

WeirdyMcGee

Well-known member
Well... it doesn't necessarily have to be social. I'm scared of it as long as there's a chance of people being around. XD

As an example, though...
Borrowing a book from the library
even that is scary to me. People sitting around the library- having to ask for assistance to find something- having to sign up for a card- signing something out and awkwardly whispering; "uh... thankyou. Have a nice day."
scary. haha
 
pebblesdundee

pebblesdundee

1
WeirdyMcGee;470607[B said:
]Well... it doesn't necessarily have to be social. I'm scared of it as long as there's a chance of people being around. XD[/B]

As an example, though...
Borrowing a book from the library
even that is scary to me. People sitting around the library- having to ask for assistance to find something- having to sign up for a card- signing something out and awkwardly whispering; "uh... thankyou. Have a nice day."
scary. haha
Click to expand...

My definition of a social situation tbh
 
mikebird

mikebird

Banned
Encountering any stranger is bad enough, if it's someone in the street, the supermarket, or in the gym, who will never mean anything to me at all. I ignore them, but I feel rude. It's not worth any effort. It's better for them and for me to say / do nothing.

Much more important is people I meet via others. I feel under pressure to be friendly and incorporate people to my world. I form a summary of new people in about 5 seconds. Everyone does. My logic is to dismiss anyone unless we have a lot of things in common. I met new people regularly over the last month through an old mate. I knew in 5 seconds they'd mean nothing to me. I gave them a lot of effort over the month. At others' homes, theirs, many times, and finally a BBQ which I organised and paid for. They live right opposite me in a different apartment block - closer than anyone else I know. Since that BBQ, we have never met, and we never will, and that includes the friend who introduced us. Never again. I'm still waiting for someone to tell me why this happens over my entire life of rejection.

Much worse is meeting in interview - boss, colleague, HR bird, etc... 5 seconds, and I can tell we won't get on, and I can tell that they will feel exactly the same, at the moment when I say something, or I answer a question and it puts everyone off, for a reason I'll never understand why, which sends me into a twirl in my head for months searching for a reason. If I do get success, and end up in a new office later on... the ultimate worst is meeting all those people around me. Maybe a few days of that when I can tell it's not going well. If lucky, I can get a few more weeks carrying on that that, ignoring everyone, doing a good job. When I get fired, I'm sure it's because we don't get on; I will never know why that is. I'm not willing to giggle with gleeful LOL people, having group hugs.

Hope that cheers you up :cool:
 
Shy Teen

Shy Teen

Member
In school, just before you have classes, there's homeroom. In homeroom people usually group up and talk. I hated it because I was so afraid of joining a group and I never had anything to say because I was so scared no one would hear me or I'd sound stupid saying it.
 
T T T

T T T

Well-known member
Being asked to go out. I am running out of excuses as to why I can't go out with my 'friends'. I have been out with my 'friends' once or twice since we finished school and I just make it so awkward, I can't see why they want me there. I can't be myself with them, so it's not actually me they like.

Being expected to change or take some kind of responsibility for myself. For example being expectd to change during therapy, and taking the responsibility of a job i'm going to be terrible at.

Being interviewed. I never know how to act and I know that I just look pathetic to them, after all, how could I not if i'm sat there sweating, not making eye-contact, barley replying and having no confidence.

Going in a shop on my own, especially a small one. Why do I deserve to go in that shop when I never leave the house? How arrogant. Why is everyone staring at me?
 
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