social phobic has phone phobia

[rainstreet]

i hate talking on the phone. anyone else have this problem? when the phone rings i cringe. even people i like, i don't like talking to on the phone. i think this started with my mom, who used to call me and prattle on endlessly about things that had nothing to do with me. whats worse, i could never gracefully hang up. this gave me a phone phobia. sometimes i just let it ring. this may be related to my social phobia. it probably is.:

 

[Liberty]

i hate talking on the phone. anyone else have this problem? when the phone rings i cringe. even people i like, i don't like talking to on the phone. i think this started with my mom, who used to call me and prattle on endlessly about things that had nothing to do with me. whats worse, i could never gracefully hang up. this gave me a phone phobia. sometimes i just let it ring. this may be related to my social phobia. it probably is.:

I hate talking on the phone as well. I doubt it has anything to do with your mother. I am pretty awful interacting with people through any medium, except for typing I guess. Whenever I want to hang up I have a very difficult time ending the conversation. I try to but then they keep talking and I'm like, "****, that was the perfect opportunity to end this conversation". So then I just wait for them to stop talking and then wait for the awkward pause afterwards for them to signal that they want the conversation to end and then I say, "Ok, bye".

I've gotten a lot better at it though by using CBT. Still have quite a few awkward conversations though but it's not every single one like it was before. And I don't avoid talking on the phone because indulging the anxiety's wishes is the problem, which you learn when you do CBT.

 

[Julesie]

I have phone phobia too. It gets me in a lot of trouble with things. Like for example I'll have people telling me to contact them by phoning... and I just stare at it, try, panic and put the phone down. Or if someone does answer my mind goes blank and I panic...

I'm fine if people phone me first, oddly. But it's just me having to phone that I struggle with.

 

[rainstreet]

I hate talking on the phone as well. I doubt it has anything to do with your mother. I am pretty awful interacting with people through any medium, except for typing I guess. Whenever I want to hang up I have a very difficult time ending the conversation. I try to but then they keep talking and I'm like, "****, that was the perfect opportunity to end this conversation". So then I just wait for them to stop talking and then wait for the awkward pause afterwards for them to signal that they want the conversation to end and then I say, "Ok, bye".

I've gotten a lot better at it though by using CBT. Still have quite a few awkward conversations though but it's not every single one like it was before. And I don't avoid talking on the phone because indulging the anxiety's wishes is the problem, which you learn when you do CBT.

ok, i'll ask the obvious question. what's cbt?

and why can't i blame my mother for the phone thing?

I'm a reasonably intelligent guy except when I'm on the phone. Then my IQ drops about 50 pts. My mind goes blank. I can never think of things to say. My standard method for hanging up is "oh, someones at the door. gotta go. bye."

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I keep my ringer off over 99% of the time because I'm always afraid someone will call & I will have to talk to them. I would prefer they leave a voice message then me have to deal with them in real life.

 

[Eam]

I keep my ringer off over 99% of the time because I'm always afraid someone will call & I will have to talk to them. I would prefer they leave a voice message then me have to deal with them in real life.

Yeah I do prefer to let people leave voice messages and get to back to them when I've had time to prepare. But I've gotten a lot better at answering the phone and general phone conversations just because I've had to do it a lot lately.

..I'm still not great at it, though.

 

[Liberty]

ok, i'll ask the obvious question. what's cbt?

and why can't i blame my mother for the phone thing?

I'm a reasonably intelligent guy except when I'm on the phone. Then my IQ drops about 50 pts. My mind goes blank. I can never think of things to say. My standard method for hanging up is "oh, someones at the door. gotta go. bye."

CBT is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I attended weekly sessions for about 10 weeks. Avoiding the things that the anxiety wants you to avoid make it worse.

And I wouldn't think having boring conversations causes something like this. I have the same problem and I'm positive it's due to SP because I never once had a problem before I had SP and I've only had SP for about 2 years.

 

[Kitana]

I hate talking on the phone too! But mainly its because I think I have a boy's voice. When I was younger.. my dad would always tell me that I sounded like a boy.. than, when I was 13ish someone called, I answered, and they said "hey there little guy, are your parents home?" That hit me pretty deep.

Now, I work at a hotel and answer phones all the time.. Nobody has told me that I sound like a boy yet.. but the "innapropriate phone calls" I've been getting are about to resurface that phone phobia.

Only thing worse than someone telling me I sound like a boy -- some raspy voice on the other end telling me how sexy my voice is at 3am when I'm completely ALONE at my work. /shutters

 

[rainstreet]

ok, i've heard of cbt. i'm just not good with abbreviations. isn't that where you're supposed to classify good and bad beliefs? it's very logical. unfortunately, humans aren't logical by nature. maybe that's the problem we face with phones. it's a device, which is logical, used to communicate with an illogical human. nah. i think i hate phones because i'm forced to speak to an unknown being. the few seconds before i pick it up are among the worst moments i face all day.

 

[rainstreet]

I keep my ringer off over 99% of the time because I'm always afraid someone will call & I will have to talk to them. I would prefer they leave a voice message then me have to deal with them in real life.

i've tried turning off the ringer. i always forget to turn it back on. a about 11pm i'll think to myself what a quiet day it's been cause no ones called. then i remember...

 

[rainstreet]

Yep, phone phobic here, too. Not sure where it stems from; probably mainly because I'm not great when it comes to thinking on the fly, and I get tongue tied easily.

ah yes, thinking on the fly. how do people do that? the thing is, its not thinking on the fly that's the problem. have you ever listened to someone talk on the phone that really likes to talk on the phone? all they are doing is relating what's happened to them today. I mean, from the moment they woke up. unless there's a real emergency, i think that the phone is bull****. its a waste of time. does anyone disagree?

 

[BlueDays]

The thing that scares me the most using the phone is I am really worried that when I call a number, I have accidently pressed a wrong number in the process, and I will end up having to apologise to someone for ringing the wrong number!!
Sometimes I will be over worried I have, so I will quickly cancel the call and press the number in all over again.

 

[CC81]

I'm also phone phobic, mainly when I have to call someone, even close friends. I'll put it off for hours becoming anxious about making a mistake or sounding weird. I think a big part for me is that you only have the voice to communicate which puts pressure on me to sound 'ok'. Sometimes I get so nervous when talking I can't think of anything to say and the awkward silences are more so because you only have the voice to listen to. I'm pretty much ok if someone calls me although sometimes I just let it ring and txt the person or see if they leave a message.

 

[rainstreet]

That's the thing though, isn't it? People that love gabbing on the phone probably lead very full and interesting (to them, at least) lives. The #1 thing I always dread when talking socially on the phone is, "... so yeah, that was my crazy day. What about you?" lol

ha, angora...that very funny! i refuse to use the lol symbology though. isn't that equivalent to lapsing into Italian or something?
its only relevant if you can use it on the phone. would you feel comfortable using chat language as a spoken language?

 

[rainstreet]

I have no idea what I'm talking about, but this sounds to me like an OCD issue.

not ocd. the fear of pushing the wrong key on the phone has to be a hybrid phobia. maybe you've discovered a new one! or are you afraid of meeting a stranger?

 

[rainstreet]

I've given the phone issue some thought. I never make calls just to talk to someone. There's always something I need. When the phone rings, I assume it's someone calling me for the same reason. They need something. I hate expectations. Needs and expectations are directly related.

 

[rainstreet]

who got the zeppelin shot? you're too young to have been there.

 

[Newtype]

I never call someone unless I absolutely must and when the phone rings, I'm nervous until it stops ringing. Talking on the phone is what I hate the most. For some reason, I prefer talking to someone face to face than talking on the phone. If I have to make a phone call, it's all I think about until I finally do it. I get so nervous, I put it off and I do nothing and my hands get sweaty and I have to take many deep breaths for a long time before finally having the courage to do it. But when it's done, you feel so good.

 

[rainstreet]

I never call someone unless I absolutely must and when the phone rings, I'm nervous until it stops ringing. Talking on the phone is what I hate the most. For some reason, I prefer talking to someone face to face than talking on the phone. If I have to make a phone call, it's all I think about until I finally do it. I get so nervous, I put it off and I do nothing and my hands get sweaty and I have to take many deep breaths for a long time before finally having the courage to do it. But when it's done, you feel so good.

i dont know about the feeling good part. after i've had a conversation on the phone or in person for that matter, i replay it in my mind continuously, berating myself for the idiotic comments i made.

 

[Newtype]

i dont know about the feeling good part. after i've had a conversation on the phone or in person for that matter, i replay it in my mind continuously, berating myself for the idiotic comments i made.

Yeah, I do that too. I replay the conversation in my head for like an hour. I think of all the things I said and I feel stupid for saying them the way I did, even if there wasn't anything wrong in reality. I just feel good because it's over.