So women don't like nice guys big deal

[no1]

no1,

I haven't read everything you've posted, so i apologize if i'm asking questions that you've already answered in a previous thread.

are you in highschool and living at home? college and dealing with a new crowd? out of school and dealing with co-workers?

right now you sound very frustrated and overwhelmed with the whole thing. Is your SA primarily limited to interactions with women?

what specific situations happened where you felt rejected, snubbed or brushed off by women? maybe if we know more specifics, we could help you gain more perspective.

well uh. I'm in college. All my life I've been rejected by women non stop and nobody had ever liked me. I can understand why though... but it feels like psychologically somehow I seem to think that my biology is reacting this way to my history of rejection, so I guess I can kind of see everyone as my enemy, and it's been hard not to see it that way I guess. Sometimes it just seems automatic, and I am deeply sorry for it, because it makes things a lot worse.

 

[Rodox]

Stop grouping them all together,you are only digging your own hole,if most girls are like that,that will make finding a diamond in the rough that much worth it,now all you have to do is find her.

 

[no1]

actually, I can see why they used to not like me. and that was because I was fat, ugly, and sort of anti-social or not very social.

and now, I'm just anti-social in a way. not so much anti-social either, because I do try and stuff, but I don't put myself out there to the extreme, or at least I try not to, and I'm working with desensitization. The other problem now is my bitterness or that I think everyone is my enemy,but it's been sort of an automatic response to the stresses I've gone through I suppose, which makes it harder. And the fact that I've had insomnia for a while and it can definitely weigh down on me and make me irritable, and painful, and unconscious in a way. So that makes me a bit edgy, and well unsociable.

 

[no1]

About the bitterness part. I feel sometimes that it is very automatic and that I haven't been able to control it.. like it's something biological. Not just... emotional but physical. as a part of being psychophysiologically imbalanced due to.. well isolation and lacking interaction with the opposite sex (which can cause a host of.. well psycho-sexual disorders in that one doesn't know how to "be a man" with women lol). And.. perhaps even see women as enemies because the body 'takes it personal' as a blow to my actual being, throwing me off balance psychologically and physiologically. As well as socially.

anyway..... yea so. I have to work on that.

The desentisization.. well obviously stopping smoking marijuana has made me less socially anxious in public becausewell I'm not coming off a downer of a high or Im not high. Still though the insomnia I have to treat.

I'm also trying to get myself outside in public more often. Like instead of studying at home, go to the library. Maybe if I want to sometimes go to starbucks beforehand. Staying at school. Walking to the park and jogging as much as I can,perhaps everyday if I can. Make myself take walks (as I said before with the jogging, that makes me alraedy do it). You know, just being out in public more.

But actually talking with people, and interacting and making connections... hm well that's the other part I have to work with.

also got a job. pretty soon hopefully I can also want to start living by myself.. or moving somewhere else to get my bachelors once I'm done with my associate's degree. unless I make a social life here too then I might want to stay. who knows really but that's a possibility.

maybe volunteer. or get more involved in school, stop being by myself.

It's hard, because I can feel pressured to just go crazy (or to me it SEEMS crazy) to try VERY risky behaviours with people in order to socialize more, but I don't want to go that crazy. I need to prove that I'm a macho man who can be a dick to people in order to get attention I can get by other means.