So, is this depression?

EscapeArtist

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
I can't tell if this is depression, or just a reasonable reaction by my own standards, or well.. Both.

Social anxiety isn't really what's stopping me from going outside. Or from even getting off of this forum every once in awhile. It's because outside... feels... like torture. And I'm not talking about the people. I'm talking about the sidewalks and the stores selling cheap uneeded junk. The makeup and the shoes. Little things like hairdos, even sometimes clothing on a hot day, is enough to depress me. I feel like everybody is living one huge lie, and every piece of sidewalk, or building, or piece of concrete is this huge reminder that.. I am detached from what I see as true life. Which would be nature, and simplicity.

When I say that makeup, shoes, hair-dos, clothing, that **** makes me depressed, what I mean is that I feel like an idiot around it all. Logically I cannot make sense of anything. What is the reason for clothing? What is the reason for makeup? What is the reason for ****ing shoes? These are all things that have put walls around the feeling of freedom. I want to go outside and breathe fresh air. See natural beauty. That's what life is for. Maybe it's because I am negative, but I can't. And I don't know what to do about it.... Because unless I go to a nudist hippie beach and live there (even though I have SA and could probably never be a nudist anyway) I feel like the world is a huge piece of deceitful lies constructed and plotted by big greedy companies... And I feel like most of the world is completely fooled by it, to the extent that they have given up real life. (This is just how I see things.)

So yeah. This makes me feel horrible. Trapped, mostly alone. One of the main problems here is that: nobody can completely relate to me, at least not here where I am!! Because why would they be here? This detachment from my surroundings, AND having nobody that gets it in RL. This is the SOLE reason I do not go outside. I can't leave where I am, because I have no job to do so with because of SA. **** I've posted so many threads like this but every day, it's the same thing that is killing me. These Lies that are ripping away quality of life and other people without their even knowing, as well as my own. Is this depression? Is that what depression is? Because I know somewhere out there, I will feel good. It keeps me going, that there is a place for me, but right now I feel like an indian taken from his native land and forced to blend into society, only without the memories of the good life. Pure torture.

(I feel very guilty for always ranting about this. Sorry, so sorry)
 
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coyote

coyote

Well-known member
I feel pretty much the same way most of the time

let's start a commune

we can keep our clothes on
 
R

Rodney

Well-known member
Not sure if it's depression but I do understand. Materialistic things might make us feel good but in the long run they're more of a hindrance.

(sorry for such a short post I had a lot more but deleted :( because I'm a fool)

The point is I agree 100%.
 
A

Acegame

Well-known member
Reading your post made me think about the movie "into the wild" (which i love) ::p: If you havent seen it yet, you should!
 
shellshackled

shellshackled

Member
I feel EXACTLY the same way. Always have.

Thank you for posting this. It has made me feel not quite so utterly alone in this world.
 
kihira

kihira

1
Not depression, a reasonable reaction to the modern world but with the potential to be depressive. Certainly was a factor in my depression. Even if you feel overwhelmed by all of this try to filter it out, don't focus on it, ignore it. Instead, look for nature intertwined - plants growing in unusual places; the different ways birds fly; the night sky. Seek nature out.

YouTube - Christine Anu My Island Home
 
KiaKaha

KiaKaha

Banned
I think depression is a very personal illness. What may be depression to one person may be completely different to another. I think by the sound of your post, that you want to be free from the constraints of society and live the way that you want to live...perhaps a minimalist lifestyle, which is perfectly understandable. I think the way you feel about the world could LEAD to depression but I don't think your thoughts themselves are symptoms of depression. But your right...there is a lot of bull**** in the world and it drives me crazy too.

I agree with coyote. Lets start a commune... I am all good with that as long as we have internet access.
 
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
Hmm sorry, it seemed obvious to me, probably a translation problem.
That was not to be taken too seriously.
I just mean that you are too conscious that nothing make sense around you, and if you were more of a simple being you wouldn't worry that much because you wouldn't notice that it doesn't make sense.
I hope it doesn't sound like an insult, it really is not.
 
lonely_drummer

lonely_drummer

Well-known member
I know exactly how you feel. There are so many things in this world that are completely pointless. I look at society and wonder why can't people see all these lies like I do?! Its so obvious and terrifying. When I look at the sidewalk, it constantly reminds me how unnatural our lives are. All these buildings and cars and pollution, its something we created. Walking down the street, all I can imagine is the world being nothing but fake lego blocks that covers up and destroys our nature. While standing in the middle of a city I always wonder, what did this place look like before we mucked it up? Its hideous and it makes every day harder and harder to handle.

I agree with pacific, maybe you are suffering from lucidity. I know I am, my psychiatrist mentions it a lot. However I find that dumbing myself so that I don't see all the poison isn't the solution. Call me crazy but Im willing to wait for society to change hehe
 
Paahi

Paahi

Well-known member
I feel just like that! Like everyone in society is trapped in the illusion it has created. And it's like nobody can see that living like this just creates more and more suffering every minute. I feel that we need to end this downwards spiral and live like we were meant to.
But maybe I'm just crazy.
 
EscapeArtist

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
Hey Paahi, I don't think you're crazy at all. (Maybe because then I'd have to admit that I am?) But no. A lot of people realize that society is full of illusions, but they do nothing about it. So, it is, in a sense, becoming a trend to some people... which is a good thing. There are still a lot of people who are completely fooled by it all, and who will maybe never know of a good simple life, instead spend their lives chasing money or fame... Lucky for us, we don't have to live this life because we can see the traps.
It's difficult to "live as was meant" alone, but there are places that we can go where everybody understands this... And if not, we can lead and other will follow. I'm just freaking rambling here pretty much..
 
3lefts

3lefts

Well-known member
Well, uhm. I know there is a purpose for shoes and clothes that's natural and not materialistic.. have you ever tried climbing a mountain barefoot? Or living up north without clothing? Even otters have developed tools to live by, and so have we. There is still plenty enough nature to experience in the world, of course we could treat it better, many of us are trying. I think it's depression because you're not noticing that you are surrounded by nature. You live on earth. It's huge. And there are plenty of people that feel the same way if you look for them. Maybe the problem is elsewhere.
 
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