So I'm talking to a girl.

[Necrucifer]

That I knew in highschool so was like 8 years ago I know she had a crush on me and was the sweetest thing ever...started talking to her again lately to find out her bf dumped her close to about when i got dumped early this month. I know its only been about 3 weeks or getting close so I really dont know what to do?

I mean should I gradually slowly build something like I been doing because I do like her and have since then and she knows I never listened to her before about previous relationships like I should have.

I know it may seem like a rebound but it isnt we just started talking as friends and kind of just sparked in the middle of things...nothing happened yet so I just feel I should move on but I feel its to soon then I feel it feels right but then I feel all these other things (no not anything sexual) confusion at its finest...lame.

I know its my choice but I want to hear what some of you would do to give me a better idea?

 

[Necrucifer]

Just now realize I should of posted this in a different thread...oops my bad.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

^ thread moved.


From what I've read, sounds like you're moving slowly, yes?
Slow is probably for the best.

Do you live far apart from eachother these days, where meeting up to see eachother in person and hang out would be hard to do?

 

[Silatuyok]

Oh I just noticed you're from Madison, I'm jealous.
I think it's good to move slow, but I'm not a good one for advice on these things because, honestly, I tend to be a serial dater, and that's not really the healthiest thing to be. A gradual building of a relationship sounds like an okay thing to do, if you feel like you are ready for it.

 

[Necrucifer]

I mean it has been like 3 weeks and I normally dont do something like this and wait but I figured I got dumped so...why have a longer grace period when I was the one who got dumped...sure I would wait a little bit not forever. Jealous why is that? I dont like this town to be honest lol and yes she lives in the town about...an hour walk or so but only like a 5-10 minute drive away and yes of course taking it slow.

Besides if I get screwed over again I might just throw in the towel for good if we were ever to hit it off. Just gets boring and old sadly

 

[kilojoule]

well I'm just about the worst person to give advice on relationships haha but I say go for it. She likes you, you like her, I fail to see the problem.

If it doesn't work out well then you can get back on the horse (eh no horse is not a metaphor for women....well not like that at least haha) but there's no reason to give up on it all. Sure what harm is there? it goes wrong and you move on. It goes right and you're happy. Keep moving

 

[Necrucifer]

Why would ya be the worst person to give advice lol? I dont know I am having second thoughts...I'm bi polar she's bi polar that spells disaster I think...Texts can be read wrong and taking the wrong way but I know how I feel but meh she got sick today so she didnt come over or so she says...but I believe her because friday I caught some stomach flu or something and was getting sick as well so possibly spreading around.

I forgot to add some more I was to ugh then but I am kind of relieved she got sick...I know that sounds mean but I was nervous as hell yesterday lol...Any tips on what I should do or bring up or what not...I do not want it to be awkward silence I mean I doubt it would I usually manage but I have trouble thinking up stuff when I am nervous. I am sure she will want to make another day though.

She has already brought up asking me what I am doing for halloween I told her nothing so she wanted to do something then also but I am guessing either hanging at her place or mine is what she is planning...all I have to do at my house is watch tv on my 32 inch...play video games or board games and that all sounds boring. She lives at home and does not work at the moment to so...I know we both do not have money to go out.

I just known her for so long but I have not talked to her at least half of that time period so I do not know. Any help would be appreciated and sorry for typing so much just bored and lonesome right now :/.

 

[Necrucifer]

Oh I just noticed you're from Madison, I'm jealous.
I think it's good to move slow, but I'm not a good one for advice on these things because, honestly, I tend to be a serial dater, and that's not really the healthiest thing to be. A gradual building of a relationship sounds like an okay thing to do, if you feel like you are ready for it.

What do you mean serial dater? As in one after another if something were to happen pretty much? I think as long as you're an honest person it does not matter what or how often you date or how soon after breakups. As long as they are not rebounds anyway I guess lol...those are never good I know...lol.

I wont lie though I dated the same girl 7 times in high school...my stupid mistake of course she kept bouncing guys but it was techincally my first real relationship so I can see how that happened. I dated alot in high school...if I got dumped usually a week or 2 later I might be with someone else...not healthy at all lol.

I do not mind grace periods and I usually just not do anything after getting dumped for at least a month but I do not count days usually either if something happens it happens and I just go with it...I do not know if thats a bad or good thing but just how I been...

 

[kilojoule]

the worst adviser because I am well known for driving normal men round the twist ( not in the good way,not the good crazy, more the 'Oh my God Im goin to kill you jewel' crazy )haha . Im not very good at taking relationships seriously. But I just think lifes too short for all the seriousness. All the very serious heart to hearts and talking about feelings... Its over-rated. I say dont over think things, just enjoy what you have. If it doesnt work, it doesnt work alas enjoy it now while its good. If things develop into something more, if you're still together in a year, then do the serious bit but for now just enjoy it. It might or might not develop into something more. Put ur feet up and watch that 32" inch telly and enjoy it.

 

[Necrucifer]

Oh as in just relax enjoy life and have fun while I am still young? I was always serious in all my relationships maybe that is why I always get so upset. I hate tv though I just mainly use it for 18+ material or socializing or video games...I always been the type that wants to find a partner to be loyal till the end of time but does not seem like its happening.

I get what you're saying though and maybe I should be more laid back and enjoy life more...I will try anyway cant promise anything I mean yea it would be nice to try new flavors here and there I suppose I thought about it but idk I think after this girl and see what happens if it works out awesome if not I may just stay free for a good while...I've always wanted to find an older person thought that would be fun to lol....

 

[kilojoule]

There must be something you can do with her before you say it that's not what I meant. haha. Just hang out, go to the park walk chat catch up, you said yourself that there was a gap where you didn't see each other. My advice, befriend her. Just be friends, do stuff friends do, if it develops it develops. No point thinking too much ahead of yourself. Lessen the intensity, this is an opportunity to get to know somebody, nothing more. If you think in that mindframe you can't really go wrong. It's win win you gain a friend or you gain something more.

 

[Silatuyok]

What do you mean serial dater? As in one after another if something were to happen pretty much? I think as long as you're an honest person it does not matter what or how often you date or how soon after breakups. As long as they are not rebounds anyway I guess lol...those are never good I know...lol.

Yes, exactly. Though I tend to stay in a relationship too long if it's not working out, so by the time we break up I'm just ready to move on. I tried swearing off men once or twice, but honestly I've not gone for more than two or three weeks without dating someone, since I started dating almost ten years ago. I think this has to do with the fact that I don't have friends, so dating/relationships is my main source of companionship.

 

[Necrucifer]

Thanks Jewel that helps me alot...and Marie I understand I think I dated a couple girls and felt like it was not working was just to afraid to do anything then I get dumped anyway. I never really dumped a girl in my life except twice and that wasnt much.

I do the same though...dont really have friends so I tend to make relationships instead :/ but that in a way helps me gain friends because I usually go out more if I am with someone since I do not feel so alone and got someone to occupy me.

I guess I will invite her over and do something then...I wont make a move or anything or try to...I felt bad in the past a few times because I felt like I seduced a couple of woman...:/ but in this case I'll try a different approach I guess...

 

[Necrucifer]

Been hard getting to her and I do understand she has been going through alot even though she is trying to hide it...she is good thats for sure at that haha....I'm not giving up though...I let her slip away 7-8 years ago when I rarely talked to her and had a chance...not this time though. I will damn try my hardest though...

She says she likes it when I text her all day...then again she says I usually am the only one who texts her but my problem is that all she replies back with usually is ok, cool, or , Nothing, etc you get the point...Makes me feel like she dont care...but she does obviously she got mad at me for asking her if she wanted me to leave her alone and she got all upset...

Still have yet to see her but supposed to on halloween like I stated before...seems so long away and hopefully she will talk more...I mean she acts fine but I dont think she is and I have not been hitting on her just trying to be a good friend. I tryed asking her if anything was wrong or if she needed anyone to talk to she can come to me comfortably and she smiled about that but...I do not know.

I never had a problem getting a girl to talk but this is just making me upset lol...I feel like I am talking to a wall :/ she does type some stuff out...not much rarely....She does get on FB so I might try that...she typed alot more on there...well if she has a computer I am going to ask her that...I know she gets the messages through her phone like me to...

Idk I am just dyiiiiiing....</3 that is how I feel right now...but I slkjdslkjdafjlsdfjslajfdlsajfd I dont know sorry...spasm lol....Any help would be appreciated...I tryed everything I can think of and dont get me wrong if she doesnt have a phone like I do I can totally understand her not wanting to type a sentence lol...