Sigh

[JosephG]

I sometimes feel that people think I am a weirdo. I make quite a few people uncomfortable when I'm with them due to my lack of communication skills, eye contact and due to me not exactly conforming with "social norms".
I have a Chemistry teacher who won't even look at me and often won't come over to help me with work etc. Surely I can't be that awkward to be around? I often fear that some people think I am a nutter. I know that I am not "insane" even though I fear it from time to time due to my anxiety. But people are really starting to make me feel like a weirdo. Other shy people don't seem to have this problem.
How do I get past this? I don't want other people to think I am some nutter or a weirdo or something. I am a normal person.... I think D:
Damn I hate anxiety. It constantly leaves you doubting yourself..

 

[Kiwong]

I have been called a fruitcake and weird. I just lose respect for these people.

 

[madmike]

People seem to be uncomfortable in my presence as well. Even at those rare times when i feel totally comfortable and confident. I had a really nice history teacher back in secondary school, he was fantastic when he was teaching but i felt like he looked down on me personally/considered me weird. I was probably one of his best students so there was really no reason he should think that...

A few times i bumped into him while i was with a group of friends (back in the days...) and i remember trying to act all cheery and talkative to make him think i was normal!

Maybe that's not entirely normal behavious actually...

 

[Road2Zion]

Every man has the right to decide his own destiny.
I feel the same mate. Like your shy and have anxiety. It's a double whamming.
I don't even know where to begin...
That's why I joined this website.

 

[madmike]

I just got thinking about a possible cause for this, and i guess it's actually pretty logical. Everyone suffers from anxiety and people phobia to an extent, right? Nobody likes uncomfortable silences or awkward social situations. So people will naturally feel more comfortable around you if you possess the social skills to make the social encounter as comfortable as possible. And they'll feel intimidated if you don't possess those skills and maybe under a lot of pressure to make up for your lack of them.

So it has nothing to do with you being weird, unless having a lack of social skills is weird. It just means you need to spend more time around people. I know that's not much help, but it gets you away from thoughts like 'maybe i am a weirdo/creep', which would just get you into more of a mess.

I've totally been able to relate to each of your posts anyway if that's any consolation! Hang in there

 

[JosephG]

I just got thinking about a possible cause for this, and i guess it's actually pretty logical. Everyone suffers from anxiety and people phobia to an extent, right? Nobody likes uncomfortable silences or awkward social situations. So people will naturally feel more comfortable around you if you possess the social skills to make the social encounter as comfortable as possible. And they'll feel intimidated if you don't possess those skills and maybe under a lot of pressure to make up for your lack of them.

So it has nothing to do with you being weird, unless having a lack of social skills is weird. It just means you need to spend more time around people. I know that's not much help, but it gets you away from thoughts like 'maybe i am a weirdo/creep', which would just get you into more of a mess.

I've totally been able to relate to each of your posts anyway if that's any consolation! Hang in there

Thanks for your words of assurance! I agree with your theory. When these silences happen we start thinking "**** a silence: what to do, what to say" instead of thinking naturally about well... anything (as we should be). If we were thinking naturally about anything a conversation topic would crop up. But I know that may not be possible for me for a while - so what I do is just ride the silence out. I just wait for the other person to speak. And I find I am doing quite well with that - instead of feeling pressured to speak I let the other person feel pressured to speak. However if the silence goes on to long I start bricking one
Yeah I've started hanging round people more - that does help greatly. I had a good night with my friends today which has left me feeling positive so I'm feeling pretty chill now. Just gotta shut out these anxious thoughts...

 

[JamesSmith]

I make quite a few people uncomfortable when I'm with them due to my lack of communication skills, eye contact and due to me not exactly conforming with "social norms".
But people are really starting to make me feel like a weirdo. Other shy people don't seem to have this problem.

Joseph, I've been reading around in these forums a lot, and something I've noticed is that almost everyone has the problems that you just listed. We all make at least some people uncomfortable, and most of don't have up to par communication skills. Many of us don't conform to social norms. Other shy people do have these problems. If anything, you are normal for a shy person.

 

[madmike]

Thanks for your words of assurance! I agree with your theory. When these silences happen we start thinking "**** a silence: what to do, what to say" instead of thinking naturally about well... anything (as we should be). If we were thinking naturally about anything a conversation topic would crop up. But I know that may not be possible for me for a while - so what I do is just ride the silence out. I just wait for the other person to speak. And I find I am doing quite well with that - instead of feeling pressured to speak I let the other person feel pressured to speak. However if the silence goes on to long I start bricking one
Yeah I've started hanging round people more - that does help greatly. I had a good night with my friends today which has left me feeling positive so I'm feeling pretty chill now. Just gotta shut out these anxious thoughts...

Yeah, the only way you can learn how to socialize and become less awkward around people is by spending more time around them. Eventually it just stops becoming awkward. Like i say, i think everyone's got SA to some extent, social people are just more adept at dealing with it.

I seem to be in a sort of limbo at the moment. I'm at uni and i'm surrounded by people, but i just can't seem to approach anyone- not even the people i seemed to get on quite well with last semester. I guess i've been neglecting everyone a bit because of work, but even when i try to organize something or involve myself they just throw it back in my face...

Feels **** knowing the source of my happiness is all around me, and yet i can't seem to do anything about it :/