Shyness = less of a man?

[unleash the unicorn]

NOO!!

IT makes you mysterious... well it can.

Just be careful to not come on too strong too soon to women...because then thats creepy....if you can say cool things once and a while but you're quiet the rest of the time that makes you mysterious and in my opinion a little shyness next to someone interesting or funny or intelligent is nothing. Actually depending on the guy its kinda cute aw

If you want to start talking to girls and you feel too shy just pretend they are guys. Wait until you have a meaningful conversation (or a lot of meaningful conversations and/or laughs)until you pursue them.

By the way, I didnt mean to give unwanted advice and I dont guess how the OP is with girls, that is just a little rambling for anyone who is also looking for an answer in this thread.

 

[unleash the unicorn]

I'm sick of having this curse. I could handle being just shy but being scared of everyone is hell!

You probably need motivation to go outside. Go on a walk with your dog, dogs are great ice breakers.

 

[Weirdo]

I just got off a train and there were these 2 london chicks talking 2 hours straight about guys and dating. They probably thought I don't understand english, lol. Anyway one of them said something along the lines of "The moment I notice he's not man enough, I immediately lose interest. The second one said "If a guy is too shy, it creeps me out. I can never get comfortable around him."

Then they were talking about how one of them should reject some guy, they were thinking of the least mean way of letting him know...the plots they made up..... apparently "I don't want to spend time with you anymore" was "The meaniest thing you could say to someone!" Why can't women be direct? Just wanted to share..

 

[Jannah]

I am shy but I couldn't see myself being a cocky jerk, trying to hit on every girl I came across. I think guys like that are annoying. So a part of me is really glad that I am quiet/shy. But I think if I was less shy I would be able to talk to women and get to know people better, and establish relationships which I always want to do. I don't want to be lonely.

I think it's fine that you still live at home at 28. I am 22 and still live with my mom. I want to save as much money while still going to school. Maybe when I marry I'll move out lol or if I go away to school then I could live away. As someone mentioned before it could be a cultural thing too. For instance in Italy it is common for men to live with their parents or mother until they marry. And from what I've seen living in New York (tri state area) many Italian american men still follow that cultural norm.

 

[recluse]

I'd hate to be a cocky jerk too, in fact i don't mind being a bit shy....What bothers me is my extreme lack of confidence....I struggle through everyday with an intense fear of everyone and everything until i fall asleep at night. It's pretty sad when all i really look forward for is to sleep.

 

[gettingbetter]

I'd hate to be a cocky jerk too, in fact i don't mind being a bit shy....What bothers me is my extreme lack of confidence....I struggle through everyday with an intense fear of everyone and everything until i fall asleep at night. It's pretty sad when all i really look forward for is to sleep.

I know how this feels. It can be difficult when for instance you've been in a social situation that feels very draining, it can make me feel very anxious and i panic alot.

The thing with the jerks is that they have certain "confidence" traits, such as being able to ineract/approach women. I've read online that its possible to be a nice guy, and still use the social skills for good use.

Kind of like that film "the mask" same power, but it depends on who's using it.

I honestly believe that i am decent enough to get a girlfriend (despite never having one). I'm acceptable, perhaps i'd be more than acceptable to the right girl. I dont know to get a girl because i'm stuck indoors all the time, and have no-one to go places with. I have felt very lame not having done much in life.

I'm really feeling the urge to just try things and see how i get on. In fact, i'm getting ready for rejection, and thinking about not letting things like that drag me down. I'm hoping if i try really hard and put alot of effort in, maybe, just maybe things will work out.

Its hard to just do it, i know. At the moment i'm just trying to build my motivation, building up to it. It feels like a big deal, and i have to treat it like it is just a "normal everyday life" thing!