Should I tackle self esteem issues before anxiety??

[anxiety1408]

Because to be fair my self esteem is affecting my anxiety, And I know if i tackled anxiety.. My self esteem issues will still be there thats something me thinks should be tackled first, and see how I feel then? It may be the main cause to anxiety? What do you people suggest?

 

[Feathers]

I think these are both connected, and possibly with other things too..

What do you mean with 'tackle them' - work on them by yourself, with books, or with a therapist/counsellor or in a small group, etc?

You may find books or programs/therapists that allow you to tackle them both at the same time, cause they are really so connected..

eg, healthy self-esteem comes from accomplishments in stuff you find meaningful, and this can be accomplished easier if you have good self-image and work on being calmer and more brave too.. and vice versa, you can be calmer and feel braver if you have goold self esteem..

So you can start on either and good things with follow...

I think I did start with books that helped with self-esteem first, like You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay (now a movie too, it's on YouTube) and a book for gifted kids (I think I read that one first actually) and another book about how important our thoughts are.. It was more like a 'growth' process for me.. Learning about myself and how life works, and this showed in relationships/friendships and achieving things too..

You could also learn about nutrition etc.

It depends on your preferences and what you find more important, or easier to do? Or which books/programs you feel attracted to or can find in your library?

 

[anxiety1408]

I think these are both connected, and possibly with other things too..

What do you mean with 'tackle them' - work on them by yourself, with books, or with a therapist/counsellor or in a small group, etc?

You may find books or programs/therapists that allow you to tackle them both at the same time, cause they are really so connected..

eg, healthy self-esteem comes from accomplishments in stuff you find meaningful, and this can be accomplished easier if you have good self-image and work on being calmer and more brave too.. and vice versa, you can be calmer and feel braver if you have goold self esteem..

So you can start on either and good things with follow...

I think I did start with books that helped with self-esteem first, like You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay (now a movie too, it's on YouTube) and a book for gifted kids (I think I read that one first actually) and another book about how important our thoughts are.. It was more like a 'growth' process for me.. Learning about myself and how life works, and this showed in relationships/friendships and achieving things too..

You could also learn about nutrition etc.

It depends on your preferences and what you find more important, or easier to do? Or which books/programs you feel attracted to or can find in your library?

Thanks for replying, Well I got 2 books regarding anxiety and self esteem, One is overcoming anxiety using CBT and the other overcoming low self esteem using CBT, I dont want to read both books at the same time because I think they will interfere with eachother and I will eventually get nowhere. I believe self esteem plays a big part If I was confident with myself anxiety would reduce to an extent, Being happy with yourself and not feeling anxiety are different things, So I think I should work on my self image before I go about tackling anxiety Because I believe the underlying problem lies in self esteem And I get anxious because of how I Look/how i talk/How i walk you know all the things which suggest Im not happy with myself, I think I might try working through the overcoming low self esteem book and see how I feel thereafter.

 

[Feathers]

Yeah, than it really might be a good idea to start with that book and go from there... sometimes our intuition can tell us things too..

Which books are you talking about? I'm interested!

Well for me being happy with myself and not feeling anxiety often went together, you'll see.. It is true that even if you have good self-image/self-esteem in some areas (like how you look) you can have anxiety about different things, like what other people are (not) doing or tests or whatever.. As self-esteem/self-image are composed of many different things too..

About how you talk and walk, I used to get self-conscious about those things too (sometimes still, but it's way better than before ) Also reading books on effective communication or going to workshops on this can help you later on..

Do tell us how you find the books and how it goes!!

 

[anxiety1408]

Yeah, than it really might be a good idea to start with that book and go from there... sometimes our intuition can tell us things too..

Which books are you talking about? I'm interested!

Well for me being happy with myself and not feeling anxiety often went together, you'll see.. It is true that even if you have good self-image/self-esteem in some areas (like how you look) you can have anxiety about different things, like what other people are (not) doing or tests or whatever.. As self-esteem/self-image are composed of many different things too..

About how you talk and walk, I used to get self-conscious about those things too (sometimes still, but it's way better than before ) Also reading books on effective communication or going to workshops on this can help you later on..

Do tell us how you find the books and how it goes!!

If your interested in checking out the books I am talking of here are the links:

Overcoming Low Self-Esteem - Overcoming S. (Book) by Melanie Fennell (2009): Waterstones.com
Overcoming Anxiety - Overcoming S. (Book) by Helen Kennerley (2009): Waterstones.com

Yeah self esteem and anxiety are related, Low self esteem can cause anxiety, whereas anxiety can cast doubts on your self esteem, But I think its important firstly to think highly of yourself before you can expect others to do so. If you think good of yourself than you will feel reduced anxiety. They both feed on eachother really, So we must make sure our self esteem is on the high because we can get anxious at numerous times but once we are happy with how we look and who we are then that will help us on our long road back to recovery.

 

[Acegame]

Hey, interesting thread.

I have been thinking about this allot actually. Because I have the feeling that there is something causing my social anxiety. I think there is something "down beneath". Like my social anxiety was the cause of a few addictions I had in the past. My mother thought that I was addicted to games because I was always home behind my computer, but that was because I was scared to go out. Gaming was just my way to deal with the boredom and distracted my mind of my problems.

Well just like this, I think there is something that is causing my anxiety. I think this because there are days that I'm free of any anxiety. Those days I'm able to talk anyone without being scared or panicking. Usually this is when something really good happend, like passing an exam or someone who gave me a compliment etc. So I think a low selfesteem is the cause of my SA.

But because of my SA I started to avoid social situations. Because of this I didnt develop my social skills. This knowledge at itsself makes me feel less then some other people, which is bad for my self esteem. That is why I think Feathers is right. Self esteem and SA go hand in hand. Its like a negative cycle (? ---> low selfesteem ---> social anxiety ---> addiction, etc.). Because of your SA your self esteem gets lower and lower. But that also counts for the opposite. If you book progress with your social skills this adds up to your self esteem (maybe more than people without SA because we put much more emphasis on our social abilities). So I also think its important to tackle both.

In some cases I think it also could be valuable to look into the reason why our selfesteem was so low before we got socially anxious. I know that at this point the biggest reason of my low selfesteem is my social anxiety (and my bad social skills), but there is something that caused my low selfesteem in the first place.

 

[anxiety1408]

Hey, interesting thread.

I have been thinking about this allot actually. Because I have the feeling that there is something causing my social anxiety. I think there is something "down beneath". Like my social anxiety was the cause of a few addictions I had in the past. My mother thought that I was addicted to games because I was always home behind my computer, but that was because I was scared to go out. Gaming was just my way to deal with the boredom and distracted my mind of my problems.

Well just like this, I think there is something that is causing my anxiety. I think this because there are days that I'm free of any anxiety. Those days I'm able to talk anyone without being scared or panicking. Usually this is when something really good happend, like passing an exam or someone who gave me a compliment etc. So I think a low selfesteem is the cause of my SA.

But because of my SA I started to avoid social situations. Because of this I didnt develop my social skills. This knowledge at itsself makes me feel less then some other people, which is bad for my self esteem. That is why I think Feathers is right. Self esteem and SA go hand in hand. Its like a negative cycle (? ---> low selfesteem ---> social anxiety ---> addiction, etc.). Because of your SA your self esteem gets lower and lower. But that also counts for the opposite. If you book progress with your social skills this adds up to your self esteem (maybe more than people without SA because we put much more emphasis on our social abilities). So I also think its important to tackle both.

In some cases I think it also could be valuable to look into the reason why our selfesteem was so low before we got socially anxious. I know that at this point the biggest reason of my low selfesteem is my social anxiety (and my bad social skills), but there is something that caused my low selfesteem in the first place.

Sorry for the late reply, your right like feathers has said they do feed on eachother, your low in confidence/ not happy with yourself that kicks anxiety in and then with constanty anxiety running in the background you find it even more difficult to be happy with yourself, so they both have to overcome in their own right its important. I have 3 books overcoming depression, overcoming anxiety, and overcoming low self esteem using CBT. I read the opening chapter of low self esteem and it was telling you about depression and showed a table and if I was feeling those certain things then I have depression, And I did.. Which means I have depression and it said before you should continue reading this its important you tackle depression its own right as that may tackle self esteem issues aswell.